Do Women Really Feel More Empathy?
The gender gap no one is talking about.
Here I go again trying to delve into what these charged terms of “masculinity” and “femininity” really mean… I discussed before whether “toxic femininity” exists like we claim “toxic masculinity” does, as well as why many feminists seem to shun the femininity that it was initially intended to defend and empower, along with a whole host of other issues I have with where the feminist movement is headed today…
I also explored recently how our gender may affect how we experience mental health problems. This is just one example of the research suggesting our brains could be somewhat differently wired (gasp!), another being that women are more likely to be empathetic yawners due to their increased ability to form social bonds and connect on an emotional level with a group. But how much of our personality and ability to empathize with others on a deeper level is influenced by the gender we identify with?
I would argue that it is a lot more than we currently like to admit!
However, centuries of systematic oppression of women, as well as the evident ongoing gender biases, have made many of us — even those who actively call out these injustices and strive for progress — to feel fearful of making the slightest statement about gender-based characteristics, even if they seem to have some scientific credibility.
But how can we continue to make social and scientific progress if we are scared to ask certain questions? If we don’t use our constantly expanding knowledge of both biology and sociology to reevaluate what “gender” even means?
What is Empathy?
For a while now, psychologists have been studying whether women feel more empathy than men. Empathy is defined as ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.’
The thing is, we all profess to be “empathetic.” This is because we are led to believe that you are either empathetic, or some sort of psychopath or sociopath. But in reality, just like so many things, empathy is on a spectrum. There are sociopaths, sure, and there are those who feel others’ pain so deeply that it actually becomes disruptive to their lives. And then, there’s the majority of us — somewhere along the line between these two polar ends.
But does gender have any impact upon where each one of us falls upon this spectrum? Are women generally more empathetic than men? Or is this whole idea no more than entrenched social expectations continuing to influence our behaviours?
What does Empathy have to do with Gender?
The stereotype is that women are the nurturers; Women are the ones who feel, who care, who reflect. Men, on the other hand, are considered the ones who calculate, who strategize, and who fight. Sure, this is over-simplifying things. And of course, there are many people who don’t feel that their gender stereotype reflects them at all. But are these simply the exceptions?
The problem is, many of these traits are tricky to measure and trickier still to compare. Especially regarding all the other cultural and environmental factors that also have an influence on us. However, according to UCLA, when watching others experience pain, female brains show more of an empathetic response. One of the scientists leading the study stated:
‘Our data suggest that females are better at feeling others’ pain, at really getting the feeling that the other person is having right now. Female participants in the study showed relatively higher activation in a sensory area of the brain associated with pain than their male counterparts.’
Similarly, research conducted at the University of Cambridge, testing over 680,000 people, found that on average, women have ‘a greater ability to recognize what another person is thinking intuitively and respond appropriately.’ On the other hand, the study suggested that ‘men have a stronger drive to view the world through “rule-based systems” striving to learn how things work through their underlying parts.’
So perhaps this tendency for women to be more empathetic and men to be more analytical isn’t only down to societal conditioning as many would today believe. Perhaps it boils down to our biology – and women are literally wired to feel others’ pain, while men are somewhat detached from this as their focus is more on facts than feelings. It could be linked to the female of the species’ most primitive function of ensuring the survival of her offspring – and perhaps more widely, her clan.
Meanwhile, men assumed the primary role of defending and protecting – requiring some level of detachment from others’ suffering in order to fight them off when need be. Could these basic primitive functions of male and female still play a part in how many of us think and interact to this day?
Here are a few examples to suggest that this is a case:
Crime Rates
The numbers don’t lie: far less violent crime is committed by women than men. In fact, women have lower arrest rates than males for all crime categories except prostitution. This difference is unanimous in all countries for which data are available, all social groups, and for every historical period up until now.
It’s true that some of this may be due to the fact that women have less testosterone — responsible for much of masculine anger-fuelled aggression — and therefore may not be a question of empathy alone. However, I would argue that this blatant gender difference definitely supports the argument that women generally have more empathy than men.
Career Choices
Furthermore, let’s talk about that career path disparity that the gender-gap naysayers love to bring up so much. I’ll be the first to admit that although I wholeheartedly support the fact that gender inequalities are still very much in existence — even in the most developed societies — a significant part (but not all) of the gender pay gap comes down to simple preferences.
As a general rule, more women pursue arts and humanities, as well as careers that focus on this element of human interaction and empathy — teaching, nursing, and social work — and to some extent highly communicative roles in HR and marketing — for example. On the other hand, men are more likely to be attracted to STEM subjects and the careers associated — which just so happen to be higher paid — banking, engineering, and IT, for example.
Of course, this is only a general rule, and could be partially a result of long-standing societal norms that women should want these types of careers, while men may feel pressured to opt for the others. It’s hard to evaluate even our own personal motivations – let alone those of the entire population. But let’s assume that we are somewhat hardwired to prefer certain professions as a result of our gender, and the pay gap is partially a result of this.
Perhaps the issue, in this case, would not be that “more women need to go into STEM” or get hired into certain roles that the male-dominated society has long regarded as the most reputable and the definition of success, but that the more people-focused careers need to be higher paid. Perhaps society simply needs to value the true asset of empathy and interpersonal skills just as we place so much value on mathematics or computing skills…
Politics
Similarly, surveys suggest that women are also more likely to have more liberal and tolerant political views than men. Many studies (from the last few decades — so this isn’t just related to the current political climate) show that women — younger women, in particular — are more likely to empathize with those who fall outside of their own social or economic circle, and are thus more likely to be in favour of minority rights, social mobility, and sociocultural progress.
On the other hand, the same theory would suggest that men are more likely to be more inward-looking and focused on their own needs and those of their close circle. Combine this with the earlier study claiming them to have a more rules-based perspective, and it’s no surprise that men are more likely to be conservative – with the sole and pretty funny exception of cannabis legalization…
These political differences could perhaps explain why female leaders have been handling the COVID-19 pandemic so much better overall… whether directly a result of their gender making them empathize more with their citizens, or simply linked to the fact that female leaders are more likely to be left-leaning.
Lifestyle
Finally, I would say it’s pretty telling that more women are vegan than men. Sure, the societal pressure for a slim figure and to subscribe to today’s “wellness” ideals could be a contributor here — but since the vast majority of vegans’ motivations are to limit animal suffering as much as possible, these statistics also contribute to the theory that women have more capacity for empathy — even beyond their species.
In 2014, the Huffington Post suggested that:
‘It’s unsurprising that veganism is a female-dominated lifestyle, since women are more dedicated … more compassionate.’
But the question is, how much of this urge to be “compassionate” is due to societal expectations, and how much is the result of an intrinsic deeper level of empathy that most women have when compared to their male counterparts?
Again, it’s an almost unanswerable question of nature vs. nurture.
The Good, The Bad, and The Empathetic
It’s important to note that having more empathy doesn’t necessarily mean being a better person. The key is to what extent you actually feel others’ suffering, or are aware of others’ feelings. For instance, whether you wince when seeing a horror movie, or feel moved to tears watching a violent scene on the news. The one who doesn’t wince or cry may be the first person to step up and take action to help someone — but they simply don’t feel the pain of others’ to the same extent. Conversely, someone may feel secondary pain very deeply, but not necessarily do anything to help.
Empathy and emotional intelligence may be like a sixth sense — outside of our control. Our actions are where we show our true colours. Of course, feeling more empathy makes someone more likely to be compassionate, as they don't have to try to “stand in someone else’s shoes” — they already see life through others’ eyes without even trying.
Whether male or female, some individuals simply feel on a much deeper level than most people, today often labeled “empaths” or “highly sensitive” people. These are the ones who lie awake at night worrying that something they said last week may have inadvertently offended someone else, or agonize over how to tell someone something important that may upset them, rather than thinking nothing of telling them straight up.
How empathetic are you? — And how do you know?
Overall, I am not here to berate men or claim that women are better or nicer people. Not at all. I actually think that empathy is an immensely interesting topic as it is so hard to measure. It tells us about how we think and relate to other sentient beings, but not necessarily about we act. Perhaps it is true that women generally have more of an innate ability to imagine how others are feeling, and on some level feel the pain of others more vividly — how any one individual chooses to help or not help others is another matter entirely!
To add further complication, you can’t measure someone’s empathy from how often they cry, or how warm they are with others— as some people are highly empathetic but also introverts or more emotionally guarded, and so you may not be able to tell what’s really going on inside. Just as some much less empathetic people could be extroverts or simply more expressive, and may unwittingly fool people into thinking they care deeply by talking or hugging a lot — when in fact, this is just how they interact.
It’s like the way we see colour, or taste certain flavours — we can’t be sure if what we experience is the same for others. We only have their own one-sided descriptions to go off – compared with our own first-hand, unfiltered experiences.
The Bottom Line
Although any study with the potential to embolden old gender norms is not always well received at the minute, I hope that more research will delve into this area, yet in an open-minded and inclusive manner. There is still so much to be understood when it comes to gender and human behaviour, and I believe we are only now seeing the tip of the iceberg. Such studies shouldn’t be seen as counterproductive to progress in gender equality or gender politics — as the more we learn, the more we can better understand gender identity and analyze potentially harmful ideas.
Overall, as we inch towards gender equality and make more and more social progress, we are perhaps only just beginning to understand the true meaning and impact of gender. But it should be seen as something exciting, illuminating, and fascinating— not something scary or at-all connected to our dark, intolerant, and gender-oppressing past.
Roxanna is a half British- half Iranian content writer and advocacy consultant specialized in human rights, identities, health, and welfare. With a languages degree from King’s College London, a Master’s in European Studies from the London School of Economics and Political Science, and a background in political PR and human rights advocacy, she strives to increase visibility and encourage debate around ethical and sociocultural issues around the world.
Twitter: @roxannayasmin
