Did You Ask Santa for Referred Members This Year?

On writing letters to Santa Claus and remembering to send them

I was six when I wrote my first letter to Santa Claus. It was full of spelling mistakes and unrealistic wishes.

And I forgot to send it.

Fifty-one years and countless deceptions later, I still have delirious expectations when writing to Santa. It’s bizarre because, although he rarely delivers, I still want to believe in him.

At some point, I almost stopped writing these letters but got back into the habit, thanks to my children. Now it’s a family tradition. We all sit under the Christmas tree and write our letters together.

There’s a competition going on between us.

To win, you have to ask for the wildest Christmas present. On Christmas day, we realize Santa failed us again, and we all laugh together. This year I asked Santa for my biggest joke yet. I asked Santa for referred members on Medium.

When I showed the letter to grandma, she laughed so hard that her denture fell on the floor. (Sadly, they broke, so we launched a crowdfunding campaign to buy new ones. Should you be in the Christmas spirit and would like to help, you can do so here.)

Thankfully, grandma looks at life through rose-colored glasses and eats soup during the festive season, so this shouldn’t affect her well-being in the short term.

The endearing thing is that she found my letter so funny that she decided to share it with her friends, including the group from the Royal Bingo Cruise Platinum Club. She scanned the letter and sent it to all her friends and acquaintances [and that’s a lot].

But this isn’t a feel-good Christmas story.

Of course not. Today is Blue Monday, the most “depressing” day of the year.

None of my grandma’s friends and acquaintances used my link to get a Medium membership. Instead, they used it to UNSUBSCRIBE.

And now I have 99 unreferred members, and Medium wants me to pay for it: