Defeating The Burnout You Never Planned On Having

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

It’s hard, isn’t it? To not chase paper, to not want the perfect life we are striving for.

We are all trapped and caught in this hustle era. It’s like driving on an expressway, if you don’t catch up to your surrounding traffic speed, you will either get honked at, get into an accident or stopped by the traffic police. Time and society doesn’t stop for anyone.

Is there a day when we don’t have to meet tight deadlines at work, not wash the pile of dishes slowly climbing up their way to ceiling, or not answer your kid’s or family’s nagging requests?

You soldier and tank on. Gradually, you find your responsibilities accumulating to a heavy rock on your back. Then one day, you just collapse out of fatigue and tiredness. It seems like everyone wants a piece of you but you only have this much to give.

In this bustling and fast paced modern city, it is hard not to overwork and stress ourselves.

We sweat the small stuff. We worry. Then the vicious cycle begins. As the days passed, you begin to experience this:

Sleep isn’t enough. This isn’t enough. The love you are giving isn’t enough. Your boss is complaining to you about your work efficiency again. No, not again.

Nothing is ever enough, isn’t it?

Just as you are about to start sleeping, oh of course; there goes your neighbour’s baby crying again.

You Have To Pay For What You Signed Up For

There is a price to pay if you sign up for something you aren’t prepared for. I’ve seen many of my friends getting married and having kids before they knew what they were getting themselves into.

They portray a sunny life on their social media but then once the camera’s off, oh there goes another cycle of fighting and resentment. Yikes.

Have you lost yourself in this competitive virtual environment that you have neglected your own basic needs such as your health?

A burnout is a depletion of your mental, emotional and physical resources. This can greatly hinder your ability to handle life positively.

Here Are Some Obvious Signs You Are Experiencing A Burnout:

->You feel exhausted all the time.

->You want to isolate yourself from other people.

->You fantasize about a solo vacation abroad or taking drugs to escape the pain.

->You start feeling irritated at the smallest of things. Every single task feels insurmountable.

-> You don’t feel motivated to do anything, you start procrastinating a lot.

-> You have difficulty sleeping at night.

-> You forget things easily. You start to realise that people around you keep telling you things like “I have told you that before” etc.

-> You are thinking of quitting your job or changing roles.

->You fall sick more due to lower immunity levels and feel more depressed and anxious about life.

->You lose self-control and flare up for no reason. You start blaming everything around you except yourself.

Identifying The Source of A Burnout

Being constantly exposed to stressful situations can cause a burnout. Sometimes the source of a burnout isn’t just limited to work, it could be because of your home situation or an unhealthy lifestyle that has brought you to this daunting position. A prolonged traumatic affair or even school for the younger ones.

Many times, it is a lack of self control or the inability to control your environment or the response to the things around you.

Now, pause. Close your eyes.

Take three deep breaths.

Then open your eyes; before we move on to the next paragraph.

Slow down

Pause for a moment. Feel your body. Stop what you are doing and think about why you are feeling this way. Ignore and silent those notifications for 30 mins.

Could it be due to a lack of sleep? Could it be because of your work? Are you giving more than you should?

The act that you just did is called self-awareness.

Be Patient With Yourself

Debbie Sorensen, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist in Denver suggests this simple 5 minute, 3 steps mindful tip called:

“Pause, Notice, Choose.”

A. Pause (Stop)

When you are feeling stressed or in hysteria, PAUSE.

Leave, move away to a quiet or safe space away for a few minutes. It can be a walk outside or a quiet room alone somewhere.

B. Notice (Become self aware)

Check in with your thoughts, emotions and body. Observe how you are feeling now and ask yourself why and where is this coming from.

C. Choose (Decide on how you want to act on the matter)

Choose what is most important to you now and be the person your best self would want to be. Reset with a positive distraction by calling your loved ones or listening to soothing music.

‘If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.’

The following are 12 long term habits that you can incorporate to keep you from a burnout:

1. Set Reminders To Take Regular Breaks Throughout The Day

Stop doing something that’s giving you more stress and pushing yourself when you know you can’t take it anymore. It will just further deteriorate your mental and physical health.

If you can’t do that at the moment, then take a break. Do some yoga, meditation and stretches. Set a timer. Learn the concept of time. Your work isn’t going to fly away just because you stop doing it for 5 mins.

Set daily reminders on your phone such as “Remember to take a break and calm down so that you don’t burnout.” This will help you to cope with stress in the long term. A little goes a long way.

2. Set Firm Boundaries

If you find that you are overstretching yourself, you have to learn to say no. Being the “yes” man all the time does not guarantee you the satisfaction you are looking for.

You may not get that promotion you are vying for because you have been overextending. Your boss or manager may also be having a burnout himself or herself, this is pretty common in developed countries and cities.

Burnout actually decrease your work productivity, instead of increasing it. Communicate your needs across. Don’t stay silent.

3. Have a daily fixed exercise regime

Schedule a daily 30 mins exercise routine. Take for example, walking. Walking is such an underestimated physical activity. Do you know that just walking for 10 minutes have been proven to improve your moods for up to 2 hours. Another research by Harvard illustrated that running for 15 minutes or walking for an hour can reduce depression by 26%.

You find that many people with severe cases of anxiety don’t exercise regularly. Here is a lesson you can take away from them.

4. Get Out In The Sunny Nature Outdoors

Get some exercise and some vitamin D from the Sun. When you are under the Sun, your brain will release a hormone called Serotonin. This hormone can keep you calm, relaxed and lifts you up from your dark moods and depression. Be somewhere in the park with lots of greenery and plants. You will naturally feel more at ease.

5. Eat Healthily

In the midst of our busy work life and schedule, we can sometimes skip meals, not eat or even overeat due to stress. This is truly unhealthy for us and can aggravate our situation. You can read my article on how to eat eat healthily where I cover a holistic approach of how you should eat your foods right.

Eating healthily is vital to feeling positive and productive about your day. It can help you to manage your stress a lot easier and makes you feel less overwhelmed. A healthy food plan prevents your mind from spiraling downwards and worrying excessively.

6. Sleeping well

This is probably the number 1 reason why many of us develop burnouts — insufficient sleep.

Raise your hands if you constantly worry and can’t get enough sleep or if you know someone who does. Have you seen the way they act up? It’s not your fault, so don’t take it personally. When you are well-rested, you won’t feel the tendency to worry and sweat over the small stuff.

You can read my article if you would like to know how to get a quality sleep. The next time you see someone act up and flare up, try to give them something that helps them sleep better.

7. Prioritise Self-Care

Set some time to take care of yourself. Don’t stress yourself too much over things that you can’t control.

Remember that your health is just as important as your boss’s task or the task ahead of you assigned by your family. Without you at your safe happy healthy levels, the entire team’s productivity is going down at a decelerating curve from here. If only there were more bosses or managers who were more aware of this.

Sort out your priorities, remember that good health is just as important or more important than reaching for your goals.

8. Be Realistic With Your Time Management: Plan Your Day

Having a daily schedule that you plan out for yourself can help cope with a burnout. You don’t have to plan every single thing but having a structure to your day will help with time management. I have found that this has also worked for me during stressful days.

Remember to also set blocks of time to unplug yourself from your electronic smart devices.

The concept of “FOMO — Fear of Missing Out” was derived from seeing way too much people enjoy themselves and having the time of their lives on social media. Understand that many people only post their good sides on social media to show off. There may be a different side to the story behind the cameras. We are only human and know that no one’s life is really that perfect.

9. Have a Work-Life/School-Life Balance

Make sure that you still spend time recharging outside of your work or school by doing activities or engaging in hobbies that you love. Find something that gives you pleasure.

Spend time with your family, friends or your community and support groups. Remember to still laugh and let yourself go. Relax. Researchers have found that spending at least 45 mins doing creative activities can reduce our cortisol stress levels and improve our mental health.

10. Develop Good Relationships with Your Colleagues or Teachers

Learn to foster good relationships with your colleagues, teachers or your friends. This way, communication levels between you and everyone else will improve significantly. Additionally, this can clear unwanted misunderstandings.

You will be able to function in a more harmonious environment. Take the initiative, communicate your needs across the table, sit down together to talk about how you all can solve the problems together and reduce the burden for yourself or the team.

11. Limit Your Contact With Negative People

These people, sometimes known as “energy vampires” are just here to steal your time and energy. Sometimes you just know one when you see one. If you don’t, you’ll have to learn to recognise them.

All they do is complain, bicker, are constantly negative and trying to pick apart everyone else or put you down because they are unable to deal with their own stress. They can be really dramatic sadists and feed off other people’s pain. At the end of the day, you will feel really bad about yourself too.

Avoid too much contact with them or don’t contact them at all if possible. Claim back your energy, time and power. You have to be mindful, practice self-control and be aware whenever you are with such people. If you have to, don’t respond immediately.

Choose to divert the conversation to more positive topics with such people. Seek out optimistic positive people or friends who won’t sap your energy out for the worse.

12. Seek Professsional Help

If you still feel like there is no way to cope in your present circumstances, seek professional help and therapy. You can find your local community centres or a support group.

You can start small when practicing these tips with achievable habits. Take it step by step. In no time, you’ll start to find that it gets easier as you build your momentum.