Summary

In the "Dear Xander" advice column, Xander and Anya provide guidance to a housecat who is locked downstairs at night, offering strategies to improve behavior and suggesting that the cat take responsibility for its actions to regain freedom in the house.

Abstract

The "Dear Xander" column features a feline advice duo, Xander and Anya, addressing a reader's concern about being confined downstairs at night. The reader, referred to as "Lonely Girl Needs Answers," is an older cat seeking to convince her humans, particularly the male, to allow her to stay upstairs. Anya advises the cat to consistently exhibit good behavior by avoiding mischievous actions like knocking objects off surfaces or playing with window blind cords. Xander emphasizes the importance of not disturbing the humans at night, drawing from his and Anya's own experiences of peaceful cohabitation with their humans. They suggest that demonstrating mature behavior could lead to the cat being allowed upstairs again. The column implies that the cat's nocturnal activities are the real issue, not the male human's preferences, and that the cat has the power to change the situation by altering its behavior.

Opinions

Anya believes that the cat's behavior is the key factor in being allowed to roam the house at night, not just the male human's influence.
Xander points out that respecting the humans' need for undisturbed sleep is crucial for a harmonious household.
Both Xander and Anya stress the importance of self-restraint and adherence to house rules to gain the trust and favor of their human companions.
Anya expresses a strong preference for uninterrupted sleep and suggests that the reader cat should prioritize behaving like an "adult feline."
Xander acknowledges Anya's sensitivity to noise during sleep and implies that the reader cat's noisy behavior is likely the reason for being confined at night.
The column suggests that the female human may be using the male human as a scapegoat for the decision to keep the cat downstairs, indicating a possible miscommunication or avoidance of direct confrontation.

Dear Xander: Cat Locked Downstairs at Night Wants it Stopped

This week Xander’s partner Anya helps answer another feline’s question.

Anya and Xander sit in the window sill and answer questions. Photo by the author.

Dear Xander is an advice column from a feline, for feline readers.

Xander is always in need of questions to answer.

If you have a question for Xander, please leave it in the comments and he will answer in a future column.

Dear Readers:

The weather is nice here and our human insists on writing out on the patio. She opened the window so we can talk through the screen. We are Inside Only housecats.

Since she started doing this, we have been closer than ever to the birds outside the window. It is fun to hear them make noises.

One of the Outside Only neighborhood cats told me one of those birds dives down and flies close to his head! He can’t catch the bird. It is driving him crazy.

The world outside the house sure seems interesting. Sitting with the window open gives us the best of both worlds, I guess. At least no birds are being mean to us.

Today we have a special request. The letter writer asked Anya to help provide an answer to the question. She agreed so let’s get started.

Dear Xander and Anya:

I’m sincerely hoping both of you can help me. Xander, please don’t be offended. I simply wish for a lady’s point of view as well.

Here is the problem. I have mentioned this before, but not this particular aspect.

See, my lady human tells me she’s not the bad guy. She would let me stay upstairs if not for the other goon. She says it is HIS fault I’m kept downstairs at night. ALL BY MYSELF!

What is up with that? Seriously! I’m not a spring chicken anymore. And if I were, she’d keep me upstairs. For sure.

I can’t guarantee I won’t bang cupboards while foraging, but I will try to keep it down. Paw swear. Or claw swear. Whatever.

I’ll try not to disturb His Highness. I think she means it. It is his fault. What can I do to convince HIM? I look forward to hearing from you.

Lonely Girl Needs Answers

P.S. I still haven’t found snap-on thumbs, but I’ll keep searching.

Dear LGNA:

Xander: Since you’ve asked both of us for our take on this, we will both be answering. I will start.

If you are trying to convince the male human of your good intentions, you must always be on your best behavior. No breaking any rules.

For instance, no knocking stuff off counters or tables. For some cats, this is a deal-breaker. They can’t refrain from a well-chosen push. You will have to restrain yourself.

Other issues to be aware of:

Sneaking outside when you are an inside only cat.
Playing with cords hanging down from window blinds. (This one is almost impossible for me to leave alone.)

Don’t do those things or anything else your humans define as “bad behavior.”

After behaving perfectly for many, many mealtime cycles, he may decide to give you a chance.

Anya: This is ridiculous. Do we really think that this situation is all about the male human in your house? Or is he a convenient excuse for your female human?

When you complain about this unfair treatment, does the female come up with her mate as an excuse? Probably.

To be fair, if you are banging around in the dark, both humans are annoyed. Count on it.

You should stop that. From your letter, it seems obvious you are not a kitten any longer so get hold of yourself. Take responsibility.

You have a choice to make. Either prove you are a mature feline who has outgrown the need to act out in the darkness or make peace with being downstairs while they sleep.

Xander and I have the freedom of the house at night. I usually lay on the human’s big pillow at night. I get up a few times to use the litter box or get a drink but then I return. It is soft and warm. I like it.

Xander has a different routine. He generally hangs out on the back of the tub with our female human as she takes her dark time bath with bubbles. At that time, I am already on the big pillow in the next room with our male human.

When our female human finally comes to the big pillow, I move to lay on her, while Xander wanders into another room. He likes to lay where he can look out the windows into our backyard. He says sometimes he talks quietly through the window to the Outdoor Only cats that visit our yard in the dark.

After a lot of time passes, our male human gets up and starts moving around the other part of the house. Xander jumps on the big pillow and takes the male human’s spot. We stay there until the female human gets up to give us breakfast.

Do you see what Xander and I don’t do? We don’t go banging around and causing trouble. If we did, our humans would no doubt lock us up in the room with the litter box.

We have a food bowl and a water bowl in there plus another big pillow so it could be worse. Still, we would rather have the option to wander the house.

Good luck. I hope you choose to behave like an adult feline and adjust to your human’s wishes for undisturbed sleep.

Xander: I should have warned you. Anya hates her sleep to be disturbed. If she is napping on the cat tree and someone sneezes or coughs, she complains.

Anya: They should let me sleep in peace. That’s all I’m saying.

Xander: I hope that helped!

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