Satire

Dear Trump, The World Will Miss Your Stupidity

Make yourself stupid again

Dear Trump,

As a big fan of your stupidity, I’m feeling devastated.

I understand how hard it is for you to lose this election. I mean, seriously, you deserve the media coverage better than anyone. You’re the ultimate entertainer. But suddenly Joe Biden steals everything from you. It is not fair.

I’m shocked to know the election result. It proves that human beings are so ungrateful and untrustworthy. Shame America! Shame!

Now, who will embrace your flag like a little child?

I do not understand. How could you all forget your stupid-in-chief? Who will now make your life full of joy and laughter?

What will stand-up comedians do now? Where will they find materials for their next show? And the news agencies, will they go back to their boring news stuff?

So many questions, but no answers — only silence.

I feel sorry for all the Americans who voted for Joe Biden. He is a decent guy, and he cannot make dirty jokes like Trump. He cannot mispronounce words, tear papers in front of everyone, tell lies without any hesitation, and make stupid news all the time.

Joe Biden has no who-cares attitude like Trump.

Seriously, how will Joe run the office? I’m confused. The White House is crying as well, I can hear it.

Trump, you were my comedian. I have a place in my heart only for your stupidity. How will I live my life from now on?

Without your 24/7 media presence, who will make my life stress-free and relaxed? Who will assure that there is a man stupider than me? Oh no, melancholy is crushing my soul.

Not just me, this election brought sadness all over the world. The people across the globe lost their stupid-in-chief. They are mourning with deep regret.

The joy and laughter left the planet — only seriousness remained.

For the past few years, when people used to do any stupid stuff, they consoled themselves by saying that there is a man who, being more stupid than anyone in this universe, runs the most powerful nation in the world. Think about them, what will they do now? How will they console themselves?

When they will feel sad or down, who will make them laugh with amazing tweets?

We know Joe, he cannot do that. He is a boring decent guy who talks about change, rights, health care, and democracy. And his colleague, Kamala Harris, is also equally boring.

Who wants boring ones?

Believe me, Donald, I have never seen such a wonderful president like you. Your silky golden hair, your innocent-face, and the way you frown — just beautiful.

The way intelligence and stupidity mingled in your character is a rare gift to humankind. We cannot find it elsewhere. Moreover, nobody can deny that you’re a great businessman too. But, alas! American people didn’t value your talent. They chose a decent guy over an exciting, cunning, funny one.

Shame America! Shame!

Who will teach you a new way to fight the so-called coronavirus? How could you forget your ultimate doctor-inventor, Donald J. Trump?

Anyway, the election is not the end. Prove yourself, Donald.

Ignore the result. Refuse to leave the office.

Don’t ever leave the White House. If necessary, make a hunger strike. Prove that you can do anything. Engage your Russian friends to support your cause. Where are they at this crucial time? Where are your QAnon warriors?

If nothing works and you are forced to leave the White House, please build a new White House beside the existing one. I bet people will love your one more.

You are the king of all stupid people around the world. Please, don’t disappoint them.

Please, Donald. Don’t take this election seriously. Do something. Make yourself stupid again.

Best Regards,

Your less-stupid friend.

Thank you for reading.

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