Day 24: Depression And Dependence Pain

Summary

The author reflects on the personal impact of dating a narcissist, the pain of a traumatic bond, and the journey of coping with depression and dependence through writing and research.

Abstract

The article, titled "Day 24: Depression And Dependence Pain," delves into the author's realization of their ex-partner's narcissistic traits and the subsequent emotional turmoil. The author, having discovered this too late, emphasizes the importance of understanding narcissism and trauma bonds to avoid or cope with such relationships. Through a series of writings and poems, the author shares personal experiences and resources to educate others on these topics. Despite the therapeutic effect of writing and music, the author grapples with lingering attachment to their ex, expressing a wish for mutual acknowledgment and resolution of their issues, which is unlikely with a narcissist. The article serves as a cautionary tale and a source of support for those enduring similar challenges.

Opinions

The author believes that awareness of narcissism is crucial for individuals in complex relationships.
There is a strong opinion that time alone may not be sufficient to heal from a narcissistic relationship, especially when a trauma bond is involved.
The author suggests that educating oneself about narcissism can be empowering and preventive for future relationships.
Writing and creative expression are seen as therapeutic tools in the process of healing from depression and dependence.
The author expresses a sense of regret for not having learned about narcissism earlier, implying that such knowledge could have spared them pain.
There is an acknowledgment that a narcissist is unlikely to engage in mutual problem-solving or maintain a healthy relationship.

Beware of dating a narcissist and trauma bonds.

Update, May 8, 2022: It’s come to my unfortunate attention that my X has many narcissistic traits. I encourage anyone that is going through a weird and painful relationship to please research narcissism.

No one told me about this and I was clueless. 4 years later I know about narcissism but am paying the very painful price for having dated one. Below are some links for you to learn from. Very helpful and informative.

It’s been over 3 weeks and I’ve written a lot about what is happening.

I thought about why I’m doing it.

It is not to play the victim or to complain or to look for sympathy.

NO, that’s not what it is and that’s not why I started writing these.

The reason I started writing these was to get my words out, maybe help others, and look for eventual ways I would find to fight the depression and dependence.

I guess it takes more than 24 days, but I am looking, reading, and researching for ways.

I would say that time is a way to get over a relationship.

But, sometimes time is not enough. Especially, if you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship and have a trauma bond.

I recommend looking up, ‘narcissist’ and ‘trauma bond.’ You will learn a wealth of very valuable info. Whether you suffer it now or you learn the traits to look out for in the future!

I really wish that I had learned about narcissism in the past but I never stumbled onto it and no one really taught me about it.

But, I know now and will make the best use of the knowledge, such as sharing it with all of you in my writings and poems.

Today, I practiced songs for my new band and actually felt a little better. But, I still miss my X and wish we could both admit our problems, work on them, and stay together.

A narcissist will never do this. Again, research and you will learn.

peace,