TRANSGENDER
Day 19: The MEH Baseline Has Improved
My journey on T
I had a MEH day
Today was pretty much a meh day, as far as days go. Nothing really to write home about, nothing that really stands out, just a day that came and now is slowly going. They happen.
But it’s nice to know that now, when I have a meh day, I don’t sit in guilt. That’s interesting. Like, I’ve had a meh day, and I’m okay with it. It used to be that I’d have meh day and I’d beat myself up about it and try and force myself to do something, or plan out the next day, or like freak myself out with overwhelm thinking about everything that I didn’t get done that I would now need to do the next day. But I’m feeling kind of, I guess, MEH!
My gender therapist said something the other day which is resonating right now and that is that the baseline of emotions and mental health has changed. I can still drop below that baseline but the baseline is higher than it was before, which means that my stable space is a bit more stable than it was before. That’s nice. I definitely feel that. So, I guess I have that to write home about today. My meh day wasn’t so meh. I didn’t get much done. Actually, that’s a lie, I wrote a really epic article today, which I’ve submitted to Gender from the Trenches. Hopefully, that’ll be published soon.
Wait, I had some stuff happen today
My brother sent me a message saying, “Hey sister…” which was delightful since our last conversation was when I came out to him. I haven’t replied, because I was having a meh day. Maybe I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
But also, I’m chatting with Gender from the Trenches, which was the first real publication that I did anything with on this platform, definitely the first one on which I shared any of my gender journey, about helping them out as an editor. Which is amazing. And I’m really excited about that. I’m so glad that I can help out Martie Sirois, and hopefully, help her make Gender from the Trenches, an even better publication. By the way, if you don’t follow them, go do so.
So yeah, it was a meh day, but still, some cool stuff happened. So there’s that.
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