Day 19: Depression And Dependence Pain
Performed my last music show with my X, it wasn’t fun.
Update, May 8, 2022: It’s come to my unfortunate attention that my X has many narcissistic traits. I encourage anyone that is going through a weird and painful relationship to please research narcissism.
No one told me about this and I was clueless. 4 years later I know about narcissism but am paying the very painful price for having dated one. Below are some links for you to learn from. Very helpful and informative.
Narcissist Questions/Answers. / Narcissist Video Help
Woke today and was very anxious about performing with my X at our last show ever.
I didn’t want to make mistakes on the songs and I wanted to see if she had any interest in me. Very anxious and stressed!
I went to the show and set up our equipment.
She was distant and didn’t talk to me other than stuff for our show.
We played great and I was very happy singing next to my X honey!
But, she was just putting on a good show and had no interest in me.
As we were walking out I asked if I could give her a hug.
She said, ‘please don’t,’ and walked out.
That hurt a lot!
She is only being honest and maybe I would say the same if I were turned off?
I’ve only been turned off a few times in 4 years.
Drove home very sad and very hurt!
Having to realize that maybe we won’t get back together for a 13th time?
Very sad and very hurt!!
peace,
Please check out some writing by Delilah Elenoh
