Day 17: Depression And Dependence Pain
Performing live music with my X…
Update, May 8, 2022: It’s come to my unfortunate attention that my X has many narcissistic traits. I encourage anyone that is going through a weird and painful relationship to please research narcissism.
No one told me about this and I was clueless. 4 years later I know about narcissism but am paying the very painful price for having dated one. Below are some links for you to learn from. Very helpful and informative.
Narcissist Questions/Answers. / Narcissist Video Help
I am feeling pretty down and depressed and disappointed still.
Disappointed that my X broke us up and won’t talk or try again.
She texted me about getting a few things back that she gave to me.
I didn’t think it could get worse than breaking up.
She owes me money that she may be paying me every month for a year?
Tonite, we played our 2nd last music performance on stage together.
We played and sounded great and I was happy.
But, she was distant and not friendly except maybe a fake smile and hello.
I sat away from her and it was all I could do to not stare and remember when we were in love and very affectionate in public.
It hurt.
I just can’t believe that she has lost all feelings for me.
I’ve never believed it and we’ve always gotten back together.
But, this time?
I am not sure.
I left when she got on stage to perform with her other duo partner.
Later, she texted me saying I left and took our tips.
I replied telling her she sounded beautiful, we made $15 in tips, and Goodnight.
She replied, Thank you, Goodnight.
And I tried to read any emotion in her 3 words to me…….
peace,