Dangers of Emotional Dependency And How To Overcome Them
I wish I knew this before
Emotional dependency is a common pattern in many of our lives.
It is the tendency to rely on others to fulfil our emotional needs, seek validation, and feel worthy.
While seeking affection and validation is natural, becoming emotionally dependent on others can have severe consequences on our life.
Since I am the one falling for this trap, again and again, I thought to write about it.
I wrote a tanka for it:
Emotional need, Dependency can ensnare, Self-love, key to break, Mindful of the desires, Healthy bonds to thrive and grow.
Explanation:
Emotional Dependency on others can lead to a cycle of highs and lows. The highs come from the satisfaction and fulfilment that comes with being with the person you’re dependent on, while the lows come from the anxiety and despair that follows when they’re not around.
This behaviour can harm your mental health, especially if the dependency is unhealthy or one-sided.
You might not notice how it is harming you, or might even ignore it, but my dear,
You can’t run away from the truth for a longer time.
So face it now, the sooner the better!
Anxiety
Depression
Low self-esteem
Jealousy
Addiction
Do you feel any of them when you think about someone very dear to you?
If the answer is NO, then you don’t need to read it further. This one is not for you. Congratulations!
However,
If the answer is YES! Then take a chair and hold on until the end because you are emotionally dependent on that person and this article is for YOU!
It can lead you to enter into a toxic relationship that is harmful to your mental peace.
Don’t believe me?
I will explain how.
When you are emotionally dependent on someone, you may become clingy, possessive, or insecure, leading to conflicts that can further damage your emotional well-being.
There is a very thin line between “Being emotionally dependent on someone” and “Unrequited love”. I have also written about one-sided love here:
On this post I received a piece of great advice from Marcus, which I want to share with you all:
About three years ago my ex wife upset me terribly. I don’t remember the conversation we were having — I was probably talking about my mental and emotional state, and she said to me with a not nice and rather mean and unsympathetic tone, “Why, because you’re still in love with a dead girl.” I didn’t talk to her for a while. I told or maybe yelled at her don’t speak to me unless it concerns the kids. I considered not talking to her ever again unless it was about our kids. Rama said to me weigh the positive and negatives of the relationship. If it’s a net positive for you, maintain relations. If it’s a net negative, detatch with love. I forgave her for the comment and we have a very good ex-spouse and co-parent based friendship. I often stay at her’s and the kids’ apartment when i visit NYC. A couple of months later I used the same analysis to break off relations with my father. Even after I forgave him I still maintained the break. I didn’t speak to him for over a year. I still do not communicate with him unless we are together with the rest of the family. I applied the same analysis last June that resulted in my ceasing being an editor for all the Illumination Integrated Publications (net energy drain) but maintained a Medium friendship with Mehmet. My point is Rama’s advice to me applies across the spectrum of all types of relationships. I’m going to turn this comment into a short published essay.
He even wrote a detailed article about it that you can read if you are interested.
How to overcome it?
It is crucial to identify emotional dependency to avoid falling into a trap of toxic relationships.
These steps have helped me to overcome it and I hope it will help some of you too:
- Acknowledge the problem: Recognize that it is a problem to depend on someone emotionally, and accept that you need to take steps to overcome it.
- Identify your triggers: Identify the situations or people that trigger your emotional dependency. This could be situations where you feel insecure or situations that make you feel anxious.
- Practice self-care: Focus on taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. This can include things like exercise, meditation, therapy, and self-reflection.
- Set boundaries: Set healthy boundaries with the people in your life. This can help you maintain your independence and avoid becoming overly dependent on others.
- Develop self-awareness: Work on developing self-awareness by exploring your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. This can help you identify patterns of emotional dependency and develop strategies to overcome them.
Final thoughts:
Learning to love and accept oneself is the first step to developing a healthy relationship with others.
Emotional dependency can be a dangerous pattern that can have severe consequences on one’s emotional and mental health.
It is my wish that no one experiences such a state of mind, but if they do, it is important to cultivate self-love and strive to break free from it.
You can also read my other article on this topic:
That’s a Wrap!
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