GENTLE READER
Cruelty-Free Answers to “Did You Like My Memoir?”
I couldn’t put it down
“Human beings have been telling the story of their own lives since the Ancient Greeks. This is definitely one of those.”
“You’ve revealed secrets about yourself I can’t forget. Two weeks, three days, six hours and counting.”
“I defy anyone to tell your wildly self-aggrandizing, intermittently factual story better than you do. “
“It was like spending a long afternoon with you. At the airport. At baggage claim.”
“Anyone who claims to know the meaning of the word “overshare” needs to read this.”
”A lesser writer would have disguised the protagonist’s deeply off-putting personality flaws by making him a fictional character. “
“I never thought I would learn so much about the first five years of your childhood, especially not in real time.”
“Wrenching, painful, deflating. I imagine writing it must have been hard, too.”
“You’ve hit upon a topic that will resonate with generations of you.”
“This proves that a rich life story need not be filled with great events. It can just as easily be filled with pages and pages of minutiae. “
“ It was epic. Biblical. Like the infant Moses, it should be put in a basket and floated down the Nile.”
“Reading it was a vivid reminder that I must always separate the art from the artist. Separate time zones if necessary.”
“Your memoir taught me that not every Coming of Age story starts with inexperience and winds up with wisdom.”
“And now every sordid, humiliating, soul-scarring moment of your nightmarish adolescence is part of MY life experience too. Cheers.”
“You’ve taken to heart the words of the late Jean-Luc Godard: a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end, but not necessarily in that order.”
“I read the details of your life with the same fascination a Department of Health inspector feels inside a hoarder’s storage unit.”
“People will identify with your struggles. With society’s expectations. With coherent word choice. With rudimentary storytelling skills.”
“From anyone else I’d say this story was a confessional. But from you, it’s more like a lengthy Tinder profile. “
“People complain that your memoir is nothing but score settling. I disagree. No one should accuse you of scoring here.”
“I noticed you did not write about me in your memoir. And that’s OK!! So very, very OK. Thank you, blessed Jesus. “
***
Thanks to Carol Lennox!
The T. Kent Jones omnibus never closes. Free Parking!
There’s so much comedy behind this blue-eyed cat.
