Crafting Relationships as Artistic Masterpieces

Blending Colors of Emotion and Experience

Like a blank canvas invites endless possibilities, every relationship does the same. Every relationship presents a unique opportunity for creativity and personal expression. Our relationship approach mirrors an artist’s journey. It is filled with exploration, collaboration, and transformation. A relationship has the power of combining different elements to create something extraordinary.

Creative Collaboration:

In the relationship, each person contributes distinct colors and textures to the shared canvas. Those contributions create a rich blend of personalities, backgrounds, and life experiences.

Four significant women have marked my journey through interpersonal relationships.

The first chapter involved a European woman whose family immigrated to the USA during her childhood. Together, ten years.

Next, I connected with a woman entrenched in her Midwestern roots. She was a farmer’s daughter who remained faithful to her birthplace, living and working in her hometown. Together, eight years.

The third relationship was with a woman of Latin American descent from a family known for its influence and affluence. Together, sixteen years.

The fourth chapter in my relationship journey unfolds with a German woman who ventured to Arizona later in life. She epitomizes self-reliance, having carved out a life with remarkable autonomy. Her independence transcends the ordinary; it’s a defining trait that profoundly shapes her character and approach to life.

She is self-aware and puts her efforts into helping clients, partners, and others. She is fully conscious and conducts her life with detachment from preconceived conclusions.

Reading this together with her, the first paragraph sparked a deep discussion. We are consciously delving deeper into each item listed in the paragraph.

To be continued…

Amid their varied backgrounds, these four extraordinary women possessed a tapestry of shared traits. Each was imbued with fierce intelligence, a strong sense of opinion, and stubborn resilience. Equally, they displayed remarkable strength and thoughtfulness. Their kindness, compassion, and cherished and respected presence in the community were the unifying strands that enriched our shared journey.

First Example:

I was trained as an engineer, and I am analytical and thoughtful. She was loving, spontaneous, and creative. I brought structure and innovative thinking, while she added excitement and careful planning. This blend of meticulousness and spontaneity created a stable and exhilarating dynamic. This collaborative process is like two artists working on a mural. Each contributes their style and perspective to create a unified yet multifaceted piece.

The success of this collaboration was built on mutual respect and understanding. Artists negotiate space, theme, and techniques in a joint project. Partners in a relationship negotiate their needs, dreams, and values.

After ten years together, our needs and dreams diverged to the point we decided to go our own ways. This collaboration failed because we should have communicated more as our goals and desires changed.

Second example:

We had both divorced and were a little sensitive to another collaboration. I was transitioning from my technical life into a new life as an Artist. She had received reproaches from her family about her sudden single status.

Effective communication and willingness to compromise are essential. The importance of communication in a relationship is similar to artists blending their distinct strokes and shades to create a harmonious composition.

Communication in a relationship is an art form. In art and relationships, communication is about exchanging words or ideas and understanding, collaboration, and creating something more significant than the sum of its parts.

Identify and appreciate each other’s unique strengths. With active listening, we developed a deeper understanding of the others’ capabilities. We worked together by acknowledging and leveraging each other’s talents. She supported my re-invention and my art. I provided the interpersonal stability she needed.

Communication broke down after the first four years. Her family pressured her to rein in the Artist and convince him to conform to their idea of normal. Compromise was no longer possible when we stopped the practice of Active Listening. We separated for the next four years and ended the collaboration.

Third Example:

Embracing imperfections in relationships, like art, can lead to more profound beauty and authenticity. This might look like accepting a partner’s quirky habits or overcoming challenges in a relationship. These ‘flaws’ can be compared to the unique brushstrokes in a painting that gives character to the artwork.

Relationships, much like art, are dynamic and ever-evolving. We danced around each other for three years before joining as a couple. The dance covered a large swath of North America and settled in Scottsdale, Arizona. This would be her first serious relationship, and we sat across a table and discussed how we would become a team.

We defined our roles and the methods for each of us to ease the growth of the relationship/marriage. We decided that open and honest communication would be the backbone of our happiness.

We decided to view changes in individual interests, career paths, or life stages as opportunities to grow together rather than challenges that pull them apart. Emphasizing adaptability and openness to new experiences can keep the relationship dynamic and evolving.

Together, we decided that I would become an IT professional. I would learn programming and network design. She would support me in the house and keep the daily routine away from my learning efforts. This worked well, and I had paying clients in the first two months. I was making a comfortable living after only six months.

Now, it was time for her to decide what she wanted to do with her time and energy. We discussed it, and she wanted to become integral to the business. She did the books and performed as an office manager. I was an independent consultant with several permanent clients and a part-time contractor. I had clients on the East Coast and the West Coast. Travel was necessary occasionally.

We took time for the first ten years to reflect on our relationship. This involved assessing how our individual needs and goals have evolved. We discussed how to align these changes with our shared life.

Our open and honest communication should have been more frequent and more open and honest for the next three years. At this point, I took a plum job in the Dominican Republic. We moved to Puerto Plata. The company put us in a beach resort and gave me a car and driver. She had to come because the company was very family-oriented. She had friends among the other wives, so she seemed happy.

Flexibility and adaptability are crucial, as they are in art. An artist may need to change their technique in response to the evolving nature of their work or the materials at hand. Similarly, in relationships, adapting to life changes such as career shifts, parenthood, or aging is vital for sustaining a healthy and happy connection.

She did not adapt. She became disruptive to the point the company suggested she go back to Phoenix or I would lose the contract. I flew home with her and bought a condo for us. The contract kept me in the Dominican Republic for another 24 months. We talked twice a week by phone. We did not discuss anything relevant. This was the death of the marriage.

When I returned home, she announced her plans to kick me out of the house, and I would continue to maintain her. I said no and filed for divorce. That made her happy. She left the house and moved in with her new ‘other.’

I woke one morning to a phone call. “Turn on the television!” It was September 11, 2001. The company that contracted me experienced the loss of several team members in the North Tower. The project was canceled within three months, and I was laid off. I was 55 years old. There were no more contracts available at my age.

I spent the next twenty years without a romantic relationship. I decided that I could not handle another disappointment. The last marriage crushed me. Obviously, I needed to learn a lot more about relationships.

Shared Vision and Individuality:

Balancing individuality and a shared vision in a relationship is like a group of artists working on a collective project. And all involved are maintaining their distinct styles. Like each artist, each partner should have the space to express individuality. A couple might have different hobbies and social circles but share common values and life goals. Just like artists working on other painting parts but with a common theme.

Interdependence is the ideal balance in a relationship. It’s where both partners maintain their individuality and self-sufficiency while benefiting from each other’s support and companionship. In an interdependent relationship, partners collaborate, support each other’s growth, and share responsibilities. They also respect each other’s autonomy and personal space. This balance allows for a robust and supportive partnership without sacrificing individual identity and independence.

What to do: Interdependence creates a positive relationship where the partners support one another while keeping their identities and strengths. It’s like collaborative art; the challenge is creating a cohesive piece that allows each artist’s signature style to shine through.

We should openly discuss our vulnerabilities and insecurities as a routine. This kind of honest communication builds trust and deepens the emotional connection. Empathy helps us understand why our partner may act in specific ways and leads to greater compassion and tolerance. We understand why our partner may act in particular ways.

The Role of Emotions:

Emotions play a central role in both art and relationships. In art, emotions drive creativity and give depth to the artwork. In relationships, emotions foster connection and understanding. For example, shared joy in life’s small victories or empathy during hardships can deepen the bond. The same happens when an emotionally charged painting resonates more deeply with its audience.

What to do: Partners should listen actively and empathetically to each other. Acknowledging each other’s emotions without judgment builds trust and emotional intimacy. Encourage them to express gratitude and appreciation for each other regularly. This positive reinforcement creates a supportive atmosphere, even in challenging times.

Here is the exercise:

· One person may ask for a time-out.

· The time-out begins. Both partners sit facing each other, and the initiator may speak for up to 20 minutes without interruption.

· The other will Actively Listen without judgment, with empathy, and with no bias.

· When the initiator finishes, the table turns.

· The other now has the floor for the allotted time.

· The initiator must now listen without judgment, with empathy, and with no bias.

· There must be no reproach or criticism by either partner. The direction of this exercise is love, nothing else.

Emotional expression in relationships requires vulnerability and trust. The same as an artist pouring their deepest feelings onto the canvas. While sometimes daunting, this vulnerability can lead to a more robust, genuine connection. A piece of art can evoke strong emotions and create a lasting impact, as can an open and honest relationship.

This exploration emphasizes the beautiful complexity of relationships viewed through the artistic lens. When you embrace collaboration, evolution, imperfections, individuality, and emotions, your relationships are masterpieces of human connection. This is the same as an artist cherishing the process of creating art.

Here is a lovely poem with delightful music from Enes Cevik:

What happens when sage advice is given and ignored? Dr. Preeti Singh will tell us:

DR Rawson - The Possibilist begins a series with the origin story:

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