Taylor Richards: A Blessed Man

Understanding who he is.

I want to take you back in time. There are some things about me that you should understand. I will share them even though they’re very difficult for me.

My older sister Beverly died at age 12. At that time, I was 10. My parents couldn’t get past Bev’s death. That’s when our family became dysfunctional and frankly awful. At times, I know they didn’t think about me. The Pastor from the Church of God always came by every week. It was his way of checking in on us, but I knew he wanted to check on me. Unfortunately, my parents refused his help and intended to grieve over Bev’s death on their own terms.

After three years of this, I was finally in high school with my friends and members of my Counts Hi-Y club. In my freshman and sophomore years, I was lost until one day, one of the guys from a class I had sat down under a tree with me. Here’s what I remember him saying:

“I’ve seen many sad sacks in my day, but you’re about the worst I’ve seen. That’s why I’m here. He said I want to be your friend; my name is Jud. Can I ask you a few questions?” “Sure,” I said.

“First, why didn’t you go out for football? You’re a big guy for your age. How old are you?” I said “I transferred in after football season. I’m fourteen. I’m 6' 2”, 240 lbs.” Jud said, “Holy crap, you’re huge. I’m only 5'10” and weigh 180. There’s a big difference there.”

“What position did you play?” Asked Jud. “I played right guard on offense and center linebacker on defense.” “How big were you in the 9th grade?” Asked Jud. I said, ”I was 6 ft. 1 inch and weighed 225 lbs”. Jud asked, “How well did you play football?” Asked Jud. “I said I won all-league only because no one could knock me down.” “Damn boy, it sounds like you’ve had your moments,” Jud said, shaking his head. I said, “It was fun. I especially appreciated the distraction.”

“OK, that’s why I came over. Why the long face, pouting eyes, and you never look up at anyone? You have looked at me a few times; that’s good.” Said Jud. He said, “Listen, Taylor, I came over here because I want to be your friend. I can speak for my Mom and Dad; we want to be friends with you. How would you feel about coming over for dinner tonight?” I said, “Really, Jud, you hardly know me.” “Hey, I know that you’re a good guy if you’re playing football. OK, well maybe, probably.” He said, We both laughed.

At 6 pm, I went to his home. It was in the historic section of the city. He lived in a large three-bedroom home. They owned a second-hand store in Los Angeles. They had been in the home for over fifty years. Dinner included a vegetable I’d never heard of called okra. Let’s say I still hate it.

The four of us spoke over dinner. Jud and his parents were Quakers and very spiritual. After they had all heard my story, Jud told his parents how much he loved them and how grateful he was for all he had.

Me, I was crying. I hadn’t cried like that in a long, long time, probably since Bev died. I remember that I couldn’t turn it off. But here’s what Jud’s parents suggested to me;

“Taylor, begin forgiving yourself; you had nothing to do with Bev’s death. Nothing. Also, realize that your parents had nothing to do with it either. It happened. The only person at blame is the person that hit her.”

“Next, forgive your parents; they have no idea how to grieve. One day, they may look back and realize their mistake.”

“Finally, just because your parents do or don’t do something doesn’t mean you have to do it or act as they do. You don’t have to treat others like they treat you. It would help to treat others, including your parents, how you want others to treat you. Do you understand?” I said, ” Yes.”

“Taylor, our home will always be open to you. You may come here, call, sleep, or wherever. We want to help. But, if you want to spend the night, please be honest and make sure your parents know.” I said, “I promise.”

“Can we say a prayer before Jud drives you home?” I said, “Sure.” I remember it like this: Jud’s Dad said the prayer:

“Father in Heaven, we’re here with one of your sons who is in a lot of pain. He’s been living with it for years. Yet, he’s prepared to forgive those who have hurt him and others in his name. Father, we ask that you place your loving arms of support around him. Please confirm your presence in his life. We are all so grateful for all we have received. We pray in your name. Amen.” We all said Amen.

I said, “Thanks, Jud, I’ve never had a true friend. Tonight was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I will do everything I said I would. May I let you know how it goes? He said, “Absolutely, plus we have tree time.” We both laughed.

Now you know my back story. From the day I met Jud and his parents, I’ve done everything I can to be and do the right things. It hasn’t always been easy, but with persistence, it’s doable.

I took the time to define my life, what I wanted, and, in many cases, how I would get there. It was a rough roadmap to a better life.

My high school years were amazing. I had so many friends, lettered in football, and was even a cheerleader for the track team (I liked the girls and the uniforms). In addition, I was President of the Honor Society, was involved in school politics, and went to Boy’s State in Sacramento for a whole week.

At graduation, I had my choice of three full scholarships: Rutgers University, San Jose State, and Claremont Men’s. I took a different path; I went into the Army. Then, of course, I wound up in a war zone, as did everyone who signed up for the Army in those days. I was a helicopter pilot.

I did my time and returned home the night before I turned twenty-one. No one wanted war, but some friends and I came back alive. They threw me a party, and I was legal to drink. Funny, after one drink, I switched to Coke.

That night, two incredible things made my twenty-first year the best year of my life.

Thanks for reading,

✍ — I would greatly appreciate it if you give me some feedback and let me know you saw this post. Thank you!

©DR Rawson

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