WRITING
Character Reflections — Anastasia
Learning about life through my characters
- TW: Talk of characters as personas that may be triggering to some with DID.
- ALERT: Also, book spoilers — really massive long-term story and plot spoilers!
- CATCH-UP: Read the introduction to my Character Reflections series.
Meet Anastasia
NUSA Series (under pen name PJ Silva): NUSA Earth available now on Amazon
As always, I rolled a D20 to see who is next. Again, I’m not surprised by the outcome but I am a little concerned. Anastasia is, a force. She is a prominent character in the NUSA series. A vampire and twin sister to Anton, Anastasia has some interesting flavors.
NUSA (The Natural Unhuman Space Academy) is a YA paranormal sci-fi fantasy. Wolves, vampires, zombies, shifters, and oceanics, IN SPACE. Because that’s how I roll.
The NUSA series is told from the Point-of-View (POV) of Jackson (my wolfy teen), so I know much more than the early stories reveal and let’s just say, I’m worried about what I’ll discover I’ve learned from Anastasia. But I am committed to this, so let’s go.
What have I learned about myself through Anastasia?
The future is flexible
Anastasia has a very unique ability — it is a paranormal sci-fi fantasy after all. She can foresee the possible paths of any decision she makes. Yes, this is an overwhelming and draining experience and she devises clever ways of dealing with this including removing the thought around decisions and following her intuition as if there was never a decision to be made. This is a great lesson from Anastasia as I can be one of those annoying people that considers everything and decisions become weighty, lengthy, and yes, overwhelming. Remove the thought. Trust the gut. Got it.
Toxic proximity
Anastasia has another ability, one that she has no control over. When she is in close proximity to someone, the other person’s abilities are inverted. So if someone can hear the thoughts of others, when they are close to Anastasia, the world is quiet. If someone can rapidly heal, in close proximity to Anastasia, their life is suddenly under threat. For me, this is a reflection of expectations — both of others' expectations of me and those I have of others. Anastasia has taught me to be more aware of the energy exchange between myself and others.
Chase the feels
This one links somewhat back to the first point but I also ‘feel’ it is the most important. Anastasia gives ‘no fucks’ and is unapologetically herself. Of course, this is fiction, and her unapologetic self is a bit of an asshole and manipulator, but the lesson is to follow the happy feels. I’ll give that to Anastasia; she’ll never do anything she doesn’t want to do!
What Does it all Mean?
It took a moment of meditation to connect with the lessons that Anastasia has delivered but when I relaxed and let her in, it wasn’t hard to see why she is a part of me. All of her vampire nuances aside, she has taught me to stand up for myself and to trust myself. That’s a pretty big deal for someone raised by a narcissist. Anastasia is my strength and perhaps I see her as an asshole and manipulator because I’m not quite ready to fully embrace my own strength. Then again, she may just be an asshole and manipulator because every book needs a damn good antagonist — and a twist. Ah, yeah, I may have spoiled the twist for you, but don’t worry, there are plenty more to come in the series and Anastasia is a pivotal character. This has been cathartic to write. I look forward to what else Anastasia has to teach me, and that’s new.
Reflecting on Personal Growth
This is how I learn about myself. This is how I manage my experiences and find those hidden parts of me that all come together to create my ultimate upgrade. It works for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wonder about others. I feel like everyone has their own way of learning and growing and I suppose it makes sense that it would be through their own passion and that could be anything for anyone. I can speak on my own experience and reflections, but I’m not here to gatekeep anyone else’s experience. Do you relate?
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