Change, Your Attitude
Why complain, who does it help?
Why do people moan and complain?
I find it very hard to be around negative people, I just don’t understand why people constantly complain about things.
Don’t get me wrong I am no angel and I do feel sorry for myself at times, but I don't drag other people down with me.
I think it comes down to having a kind heart, and an assertive attitude.
If you are kind and someone is complaining you would try and re-direct that energy back into a positive force, rather than jump on the bandwagon and agree with the person.
They may have a valid point and also may have the right to moan, however, action is what makes a difference, and you can make a difference with the words that you use.
People who complain, consistently are inclined to have poor health, tend not to do well in their jobs and have relationships that are less satisfying and shorter lasting. Oh, yes, and they are often quite miserable to be around.
Honestly, I don’t think people realize how much they do it, if you sent them onto a reality TV show and then let them watch it back, I think they would be embarrassed.
I often see posts on social media, a post saying, “I am ill today” or “I'm tired”, my first thought is to tell them to get off social media and get to bed. Of course, these people are looking for sympathy, I just don’t understand why.
People are dying in the world, people have disabilities, people living on the streets, cold and hungry, however, you feel the need to tell people that you cannot cope because the supermarket has run out of baked beans!
Complaining also keeps people from taking action. It gives excuses to procrastinate and keep from achieving goals. It’s always much easier to complain than it is to find a solution.
Another reason people complain is to avoid responsibility. Think about arriving at work late with the excuse that the traffic was terrible or they had a flat tire or the wait at the petrol station as the queue was so long. Sure, stuff happens but, perhaps, you could have left earlier or been more prepared, like getting petrol the night before.
The real danger for people who are constant complainers is that it traps them in a negative reality, giving them more to complain about. The reasons for their circumstances are endless: “I never get any real breaks. I always have bad luck.
Life seems totally and consistently unfair.” The complainers’ circumstances are always unfortunate and seemingly beyond their control. But this is simply not true and the reality is that their thinking strategy seriously needs an update because they have created their reality to be congruent with their thoughts.
Complaining doesn’t make one a bad person. It just puts a horrible damper on the possibility of living an exceptional life. It’s a denial of responsibility, and blame is just another way of excusing yourself from being responsible.
How people justify complaining
Life’s not fair, I think most of us complain because we feel things are unfair and out of our control. Why do they have so much when I have nothing? I’ve worked just as hard, saved harder and I still don’t have as much to show for it.
Genuinely unhappy, Some people are just genuinely unhappy. They can’t find joy in any aspect of their life. Genuinely unhappy people take to complaining to express their dissatisfaction with their life and in many situations, it’s used as a coping mechanism as well.
Jealousy, Most times people won’t admit to this as it’s a rather unbecoming trait. They may also not admit to it because they truly don’t recognize it as jealousy.
This ties in with the first point of life not being fair. The emotion that can come out of that is jealousy. When you wish you had the new car, or the new job or the high salary there is a tendency to complain, either that the other people are getting this or that you’re not.
Lack of empathy, A lot of times we complain because we lack empathy for others. Think about this: You complain that someone isn’t doing something “right”, they should be doing it this way because that’s what we would do if we were in that position.
When we lack empathy we aren’t able to fully put ourselves in the other person place. We don’t know the thoughts going through their head or what other complexities they are facing in their lives at that moment.
How to stop being negative and complaining
Be Aware, The first and most important step is to become aware when you complain, then stop it, just stop yourself from doing it.
Take Responsibility, Take responsibility for your thoughts, they’re just thoughts. Once you accept that you are the creator of your thoughts, you can change them.
Focus on what you really want, Observe your complaint and the positive intention behind it and ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Be very clear about what you do want, not what you don’t want.
Replace your negative thoughts, Replace your negative thoughts with possible alternatives. Once you are clear about what you do want — your goal — seek a solution.
Please let me know your thoughts on this, it was a bit of a rant, but we got through it.
Written by Robert Ralph
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