Can You Have a Fear of Success and Not Know It?

How I almost self-sabotaged my writing career before it even started.

Is it possible that you may have a fear of success without knowing it? If you seem to get, oh, so close, before often losing it all, you may have a fear of success. But how do you find out, and what do you do about it?

Most people confuse it with the fear of failure, but it is not the same thing. I wrote an article about the fear of failure and how to overcome it. However, we will deal with identifying the fear of success and how to deal with it here.

I read an excellent post recently that solidified for me that I can make money as a writer. The author broke it down to basics so wonderfully that my analytical mind fell in love with it, and swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

A Simple Idea

The premise was that even if you’re just starting, and if you were to make 10% more this week than last week, at the end of two years, you would be making $2,000 per month. ($6 per week was used as a starting point, I believe).

Being a Maths major, I took my earnings at that time, the 10% increment formula, added the magic of compounding interest, and a dash of optimism to realize that I could be making $1,000 per month by the end of 2020, an admirable goal.

Simple doesn’t mean easy.

I am 65 years old, and I know from having been there many times that the journey from point A to B is never a straight line. More often than not, there will be detours along the way. I have also learned that unexpected detours offer us a scenic route that we might have missed had we stayed on the straight path. Getting off track is not all bad.

I understand that simple doesn’t always mean easy, but it gives us a framework and a roadmap to follow. It highlights the possibilities in an acceptable manner.

So I committed to the long-term process of achieving success.

Beware the Trap

I analyzed my numbers at the end of 2019 to check my progress. They painted a promising picture.

At a 10% per increment compounded weekly, I should make 1.46 X as much in four weeks. Add to it the fact that there are a couple of more days in a month; I rounded it up to mean 1.5 X monthly. My earnings for December were 1.57 X that of November. I was on track, or was I?

The boogeyman shows up.

I proceeded to project my earnings by the end of December 2020, using the results from my November and December 2019 stats. I made 11.50 in November and $18.09 in December, an increment of $6.59 — not exactly of astronomical proportions.

Remember, I said I had added a dash of optimism to think I can make $1,000 per month by the end of December 2020. Here is what the actual calculations showed.

My first reaction was a queasy feeling in my gut, followed by the thought, “It’s not right.” Not an “it can’t be right,” but an emphatic “it’s not right.” It wasn’t disbelief; it was outright denial. Calculators don’t lie; I must have made an input error. I checked, no errors.

A $1,000 per month, I was ready to commit, knowing full well that it will grow, not only hoping but banking on its growth. Yet, the $4,000 figure gave me a queasy feeling. That’s the Fear of Success making itself known.

What to do now?

I’ve been a self-development junkie for decades, and it’s paying off. I was able to recognize the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach as the fear of success. I have spent years learning various techniques to reframe my thoughts, and you can learn them with some practice. The hardest part is to know what you need to reframe. It is impossible to know it if we can’t recognize it.

How to recognize fear?

Fear is a natural part of our DNA. We’re all equipped with it, and at its basic level, we can recognize it because we can feel it in our bodies. It shows up as stress, and therein lies the problem.

Our lives are full of stresses of all kinds, most of which are self-created and unnecessary. We’ve accepted stress as a part of modern life. So, when it shows up naturally, demanding our attention, we ignore it because we’re unable to distinguish it from the self-created ones.

The only way to distinguish between natural and human-made stress is through meditation. It means to slow down and ask pertinent questions. Next time you feel stressed, stop, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” Pay close attention to the response from your inner-self.

Don’t let the word meditation scare you. It is nothing more than being mindful of your environment — inner and outer. You can even find humorous and effective ways to understand and practice meditation. (Language alert)

By practicing regular meditation, you can eliminate, or at the least, subdue most of your self-inflicting damages. Once you do that, recognizing fear-induced stress is a piece of cake. I do not use any formal method of meditation; I slow down and relax as often as possible. It’s time-saving, increases productivity, and beneficial for personal health. Give it a whirl.

Reframing Techniques

There are many so-called New Age techniques to reframe your perspective or mindset. I say so-called because they are nothing more than age-old and time-tested practices that have been adapted to modern times and backed by contemporary sciences. Some folks may even contest that statement, but it is what it is.

Emotional Freedom Technique

In my experience, the most helpful method of reframing thoughts, and overcoming phobias is the Emotional Freedom Technique, aka tapping. Some people call it tapping because you tap on various meridian points in your body. If you’re not familiar with it, I highly recommend that you look into it. The link above gives you reliable information about what it is and how it came about.

You can find websites that offer comprehensive training tools. There are YouTube channels that help with overcoming money issues and other challenges. The best thing to do is to find a good local practitioner in your area with whom you feel comfortable.

Using Affirmations

This is another effective way to reprogram your mindset, especially at the sub-conscious level, where most of the phobias reside. It involves repeating positive statements about what you want to achieve. It is akin to dripping clean water into a bucket of dirty water until most of the dirt flows out, and you have relatively clean water in the bucket.

In the old days, and even today in certain circles, it is called praying. You invoke a power outside yourself to help you achieve your desired goals. The underlying mechanics in both cases is affirming your beliefs/faith in your success.

The affirmations don’t always work, just as some prayers go unanswered; it is because they are not in harmony with your true self or inner desire. They are not affirming your truth.

To sum it up

If you have experienced “almost success” one time too many, it is quite likely that you are self-sabotaging your efforts to achieve the desired results. It is time to halt, slow down, identify the roadblocks, and take the necessary steps to reframe your perspective to reach your goal of success and happiness.

You are Worth It!

P.S.: I am NOT an affiliate of any of the resources I have mentioned. They are the tools I have used and benefitted from in my development.

“You can let others tell you what it means to be successful, or you can decide it for yourself.”

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