WHY NOT HOW

Focus On What You Can Control 100%

Trying to control anything else is stressful and not worth the effort.

We do what we do for one reason and one reason alone. That one reason can be summed up in one word: Happiness!

Everyone wants to be happy. We are all in pursuit of happiness. But, as it is, that pursuit is causing a lot of people tremendous unhappiness.

Can you relate?

The pursuit of Happiness

Recently, I read Beyond Willpower by Alexander Loyd. It was an eye-opening experience. Dr. Loyd contends that we get so bogged down with the how that we forget the why and never receive the end-result. I concur based on personal experience. Maybe you do, too.

He talks about why the personal development industry, and it is an industry, fails to deliver the result it promises, and what we can do about it. He shows why the principles mentioned in self-development books and programs don’t produce the results we seek, and how to go about using them correctly to get the results you want.

In the end, I walked away knowing what I was doing incorrectly, and with two takeaways that have become my Modus operandi.

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points. ~ A childhood lesson

One mistake I kept repeating

The internet is full of how-to hacks. There are even hacks on how to hack something. We live in a society where we are regularly sold the lie that we can have it all and have it now. We don’t stop to ask, do we really want it all or just one thing, namely, happiness?

I have wasted an immense amount of time and resources looking for a shortcut. Had I spent the time and money on implementing the knowledge I had, and followed my inner voice, I would be way ahead of where I am now.

What I learned about myself from reading the book, is that in the past, knowing this pushed me to seek the latest hack, and I fell into a vicious cycle. I can look back and see how I could have solved my problems had I not been focused on solving them yesterday.

Two takeaways to create change

We are taught that we must set goals to be successful, and it is a wise notion. The problem is that we are setting the wrong goals, or more appropriately, setting goals for false outcomes. The reason we do that is that we define success incorrectly. We forget that the reason we do what we do is to be happy.

The solution lies in understanding two simple truths. When we grasp this and keep them in front of us as we go about goal setting, we will reach our ultimate goal.

“It is perfectly right that you should desire to be rich. If you are a normal man or woman you cannot help doing so.” ~ Wallace D Wattles, Science of Getting Rich

First, there is one ultimate goal behind all our doings, and generally speaking, it is happiness, in one form or another. Any activity that causes undue stress is an indication that the action is not conducive to our ultimate goal.

Second, there are things we can control, and there things that are beyond our control. Trying to control things that are beyond our capabilities causes stress, which is again an indication that it is not conducive to our success.

Let me give you an example. I set a goal to earn $1,000 per month by the end of June 2020 as a writer on Medium.

My ultimate goal is to experience freedom, the freedom to live life on my terms. So I ask myself, is this a success goal or a stress goal?

I can see that there are elements of this goal that are in line with my success goal of freedom, and there are elements that are not in my control, which can be a cause of stress if I insist upon them. Armed with this information, I set out to pursue the goal.

The first thing I did was learn what it takes to make $1,000 per month on Medium by studying the people who are doing it. (or claim to). I found that some things are in my control — finding and using my voice, creating high-quality content, posting consistently, etc., and some things are out of my control, like getting accepted by publications or getting curated.

I understand that I get paid when people spend time reading my stories. I cannot control that. What I can control are activities that will put my work in front of more and more people. So, I will focus on the things I can control 100% and always keep checking to make sure that my activities are in tune with my ultimate goal of freedom.

While making money is the objective with my writing on Medium, it is only in service of my ultimate goal and not the goal itself.

What about you?

Are you working on a success goal or a stress goal? Are you focusing only on what you control 100% or on things beyond your control?

It is good to check in now and then to make sure you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. If you’re constantly feeling stressed, I suspect you’re not in tune with your ultimate goal.

As always, thank you for reading and responding.

More about me:

Rasheed Hooda is a published author and a regular contributor to ILLUMINATION, a writers’ community on Medium where writers support each other.

He is a self-proclaimed weirdo who lives a Freedom Lifestyle and writes about related topics — Travel (a top writer), Personal Growth, Freedom, and entrepreneurship. (Get the Newsletter)

“You can let others tell you what it means to be successful, or you can decide it for yourself.”