Respectful Parenting
Building Connection with Children
Learn how to connect with your child and create a strong bond that will last a lifetime.
Parents often find it difficult to build a connection with their children instead of trying to control them. They may feel they need to assert their authority in order to keep things running smoothly. But studies have shown that children who feel connected to their parents are more likely to cooperate and behave well than those who don’t. So how can you go about building this connection?
It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. You don’t have to become your child’s best friend, but simply creating an environment where love, communication and respect are the norm will help forge a strong bond. When you take the time to truly listen and understand your child, you’re showing them that you care. And that’s something they’ll never forget.
So when I was raised to the status of a mom after the birth of my son 14 years ago I researched and followed a few key strategies to help me build connection with my children. I am going to share them here.
1 — Get involved in child-led activities
My daughter often brings her board games or UNO cards to the table and asks me to play with her. This always happens when I sit down to write and the first thought that comes to my mind is how do I get out of it, I think of all the lame excuses.
Now don’t raise your eyebrows….I am not a bad mother. It’s just that when I am writing, my mind is in a completely different world and getting involved in a game requires every bit of concentration I can muster. And even though it may be the last thing I want to do in that moment, I know it’s important.
So instead of coming up with an excuse, I try to get involved in the activity and have fun. It’s a great way to bond. When you get involved in child-led activities, you are reinforcing their natural interests and encouraging them to explore. This not only helps to build a connection with the children, but it also allows them to learn more about their world. In addition, by getting involved in child-led activities, you are modeling positive behavior for the children. This can help them to develop healthy habits and learn how to interact with others in a positive way.
2 — Make time for one-on-one conversations
It can be tough to find the time to really talk when you’re busy with work, school and all of the other demands of life. But carving out even just a few minutes each day to chat with your child can make a big difference.
With experience I can confidently say that the time, before going to sleep is the best time to have a heart to heart talk with them.My 14 years old son can do his thing for the whole day but before going to bed he comes to lie down in my bed and we talk about his day, his friends, the Youtube videos he watched and everything that is going on in his life. This is our time to connect.
One-on-one conversations are a great way to build connection because they offer an opportunity for you to really listen to what your child is saying. And even though it can be difficult to find the time, making an effort to have regular one-on-one conversations with your child will pay off in the long run.
3 — Be an Active Listener
When children share something with you, it’s important to be an active listener. This means giving them your full attention and responding in a way that shows you understand what they’re saying. Try to make eye contact, put away any distractions, and really listen to what they have to say. You can also ask follow-up questions to show that you’re interested in what they’re saying. For example, you might say, “That sounds like it was really fun!”, “Wow”, “Oh that’s bad”, “then what did you do” e.t.c
It’s also important to resist the urge to interrupt or offer advice unless it’s explicitly requested. Instead, focus on understanding what the child is saying and why it matters to them.
Building a connection with children starts with being an active listener. When you take the time to truly listen to what they have to say, it shows them that you value their thoughts and experiences.
4 — Give Them Freedom to Make Their Own Choices
It can be difficult to let go and allow our kids the space to make their own choices. This is specially true for our older children, but it is so important for their development. When we give them the freedom to explore and make their own decisions, we are helping them to build confidence and independence.
When my son was deciding his electives in grade 9, he was very interested in drama and music. I wanted him to focus on his academics and choose subjects that would help him get into a good university. But I knew that it was important for him to follow his interests and make his own choices. So, I allowed him the space to explore and make his own decisions.
By allowing them to take risks and fail, we are teaching them important life lessons that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. So, next time you are tempted to hover or intervene, take a step back and let your child take the lead. You may be surprised by what they are capable of.
5 — Positive Affirmations Focusing on their Strengths
When you focus on their strengths, they feel appreciated and motivated to keep growing. You could say “ I know you can do this “ or “ I believe in you.” Ignore weaknesses and don’t bring up past failures. Try it out and see the difference it makes in your relationship!
6 — Letting Them Know You’re on Their Team
When children feel like you’re on their side, they’re more likely to open up to you and confide in you. They know that you’re there to support them, no matter what. So, let your child know that you’re on their team.
7 — Trust Their Judgement and Seek to Understand their Decision
Building trust with your children is essential to a healthy parent-child relationship. When children tell you they don’t want to do something, it’s important to trust their judgement and try to understand their perspective. Rather than assuming they’re lazy or incompetent, take the time to listen to their reasons and have a discussion. This will help them feel valued and respected, and build the foundation for a strong relationship.
Building connection with children is so important. It’s the foundation that all of your future interactions will be built on. When you have a relationship with someone, you can talk to them, reason with them, and be open with them. This is vital when it comes to raising children. If you’re constantly trying to control them, they’re going to resent you and rebel against you. Instead, try to build a foundation of trust and respect. Talk to them openly and honestly, and listen to what they have to say. If you can build a strong relationship with your children, you’ll be able to weather any storm that comes your way.
Excited to share my work with you! I hope it provides some helpful insights. Follow me to keep up with new posts.
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