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require little added maintenance, the butt can be a different story.</p><p id="e600">I’m clearly not oblivious to the physiological functions of the rectum; anyone who is, or pretends to be, has no business going <i>there</i> in the first place. Feeling comfortable with your partner is also very important in the instance that accidents <i>do</i> happen…which they might.</p><p id="9bf8">Still, I prefer to keep it as squeaky clean as possible. First then, can I really sink in and relax, worry-free. Call me a prude, but my second hard limit, next to <i>no anal on the first date</i> is <i>no scat-play. </i>When I have visitors, I like it neat and will make sure all surfaces are tidy before anyone steps over my doorstep. For the sake of clarity, I’m talking about <i>both</i> my apartment <i>and</i> my butt right now.</p><p id="1666">How does this make anal sex more intimate? Well, to <i>want</i> to put in the extra time, effort, and dedication required, I need to really be into it, and the person I’m inviting along. That in itself makes it extra meaningful.</p><p id="1702"><i>For all the dirty details on how to get sparkly clean, I wrote this <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-secret-to-enjoying-anal-sex-865d573cc116">in-depth article on anal-prep</a>.</i></p><h2 id="39b4">An asshole is just kinda moody</h2><p id="ef78">Some days butt stuff feels fantastic and other days they don’t—at all! This might be true for all sex, to some degree, but it’s especially true for anal. The sphincter is not only sensitive, but temperamental and therefore any kind of tension, stress, and exhaustion can affect its <i>behavior.</i></p><p id="eea4">It’s exceedingly important for me to trust that my lover is both sensitive and understanding of this, and won’t simply soldier on without paying attention. I prefer someone who knows me well enough to tune into my resonance without me having to spell out every damn word.</p><h2 id="0a33">It’s oh-so-intense, which makes me feel oh-so-vulnerable</h2><p id="464b">This is the most defining point for me: When anal sex is <i>really</i> good, I will momentarily transcend my body to hover somewhere above it for an undefinable amount of time. In these spaced-out moments, I have very little control over the movements and sounds I make. With vaginal sex, on the other hand, I still feel (mostly) in charge.</p><p id="5e13">A slight control freak by nature, letting go completely to allow someone a close up of myself in a state of unhinged pleasure is not always easy for me. Is it for most people? This is as raw as it gets, and therefore an unusually tender space for me to allow anyone access to.</p><p id="9085">In <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-ass-master-who-stole-my-heart-a2bd4959642e">a story about the partner who first taught me to really appreciate anal sex</a> I write, “they say that the way to someone’s heart is through the stomach (…) but I’ve recently come wonder if there may also be a way to our hearts through our…rear ends.”</p><p id="b185">I still believe anal sex to be both more emotio

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nally and physically intimate and close than most other things. This is when I feel the most naked, the most open, and as a result the most exposed. It’s also one of the sex acts that have the highest potential for something to go wrong; for it to cause pain, or simply just get embarrassing.</p><p id="8eb9">For the number of posts I see praising anal sex on this site, I see at least as many swearing never to go near it (again), often after having experienced severe physical and mental trauma related to it. So, while I’m excited to see this wonderful act becoming increasingly destigmatized, and more and more people adding it to their sexual repertoire, I can’t help but wish to apply a few words of caution.</p><p id="0677">While opening and sharing our hearts is a beautiful and empowering endeavor—one we should embark on as often and as much as we feel inclined to—we want to take the precautions we can to ensure that we only allow in those who aren’t planning to break it.</p><p id="95f3">If we apply the same logic to anal sex too, we might start to see less of the traumatic horror stories and even more praising the treasured <i>mystery-zone!</i></p><figure id="96b5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*xKxnwqn_EUaHXW-qvkscVQ.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><div id="1dbd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sex-with-ena-1aecd927677c"> <div> <div> <h2>Sex With Ena</h2> <div><h3>All of my sexy pieces in one place</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*P6qZqcmqK8vjBMgBXCECcQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="08db" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-secret-to-enjoying-anal-sex-865d573cc116"> <div> <div> <h2>The Secret to Enjoying Anal Sex</h2> <div><h3>It’s all about preparation</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*XlGiQe9GU0DY7vB_viPzDA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="875d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-ass-master-who-stole-my-heart-a2bd4959642e"> <div> <div> <h2>An Ass-Master Stole My Heart</h2> <div><h3>A story about anal sex, and my (attempted) polyamorous slave-Master relationship</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*R_bshJEq85c7o4g9-51DjQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Building Confidence

Confidence is an important attribute that can help you achieve your goals and improve your overall quality of life.

Photo by Rebrand Cities: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-smiling-inside-building-1367269/

Whether it’s speaking in public, pursuing a new career, or making new friends, having confidence can make all the difference. If you’re looking to build your confidence, there are a variety of strategies you can use to help you get there.

Identify Areas Where Confidence is Lacking

The first step in building confidence is to identify the areas where you lack confidence. This might be a particular skill or situation where you feel unsure of yourself. Once you’ve identified the areas you want to work on, you can start to develop a plan to improve your confidence.

Identifying areas where your confidence is lacking can be challenging because it can sometimes be difficult to recognize your own insecurities. Here are some strategies you can use to become more aware of the areas where you may lack confidence:

  1. Take note of situations that make you feel uncomfortable or anxious. Think about what specifically causes these feelings and try to identify the underlying reason for your discomfort. For example, if public speaking makes you nervous, it may be because you lack confidence in your ability to speak effectively in front of others.
  2. Pay attention to your self-talk. Notice what you say to yourself when you’re feeling unsure or doubtful. Do you tend to criticize yourself harshly or focus on your weaknesses? If so, these may be areas where your confidence is lacking.
  3. Ask for feedback from others. Sometimes it’s difficult to see our own strengths and weaknesses, so it can be helpful to get feedback from others. Ask people you trust to give you honest feedback about your skills and abilities.
  4. Reflect on your past successes and failures. Think about times when you’ve been successful and times when you’ve struggled. What do these experiences tell you about your strengths and weaknesses? This can help you identify areas where you may need to build more confidence.
  5. Take a personality or skills assessment. There are many online assessments that can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses. These assessments can provide insights into your personality traits, skills, and abilities, which can help you identify areas where you may need to build more confidence.

Remember, building confidence takes time and practice, so be patient and persistent in your efforts to identify and work on your areas of weakness.

Practice

One effective way to build confidence is through practice. The more you do something, the more comfortable you will become with it. For example, if you’re nervous about public speaking, you can start by practicing in front of a mirror or with a friend. Gradually, you can work your way up to speaking in front of larger groups. Similarly, if you lack confidence in your abilities in a particular area, such as cooking or playing a musical instrument, you can practice regularly to improve your skills.

When individuals engage in regular practice, they gain a sense of familiarity with the task, which helps them feel more comfortable and confident in their abilities. For example, a musician who practices regularly becomes more confident in their ability to play their instrument and perform in front of an audience.

Furthermore, practice enables individuals to learn from their mistakes and improve upon their weaknesses. When individuals engage in a task repeatedly, they begin to identify areas where they struggle or make mistakes. Through practice, they can focus on improving these areas, which helps build their confidence. For example, a student who struggles with public speaking can practice delivering speeches in front of a mirror or with a supportive audience. With each practice session, the student can identify areas where they need improvement and work to strengthen their skills.

Practice also helps individuals develop a growth mindset, which is the belief that their abilities and intelligence can improve with effort and hard work. When individuals engage in regular practice, they begin to see the results of their efforts and gain a sense of accomplishment, which reinforces their belief in their abilities. This can help build their confidence in themselves and their ability to succeed.

Photo by M Venter: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-gray-tank-top-1659435/

Stretching Comfort Zones

In addition to building confidence through practice, individuals can also gain confidence by seeking out opportunities to stretch themselves outside of their comfort zone. Taking on new challenges and facing one’s fears can be intimidating, but it can also help individuals develop a sense of resilience and self-assurance. For example, an individual who is nervous about public speaking can volunteer to give a presentation at work or join a public speaking group. By pushing themselves to confront their fears, they can build their confidence and develop new skills.

One of the main ways stretching one’s comfort zone increases confidence is by providing a sense of accomplishment. When individuals take on new challenges, they are often able to accomplish things they never thought possible. This can help them build confidence in themselves and their abilities. For example, a person who is afraid of heights may feel incredibly proud and confident after successfully completing a high ropes course.

Stretching one’s comfort zone can also help individuals develop a sense of resilience. When individuals face their fears and try new things, they may encounter obstacles or setbacks. However, by persevering through these challenges, individuals can build resilience and develop a sense of confidence in their ability to overcome obstacles. This can help them face future challenges with greater confidence and determination.

Another way stretching one’s comfort zone can increase confidence is by providing opportunities for learning and growth. When individuals try new things, they are often forced to learn new skills or develop new ways of thinking. This can help them gain new perspectives and insights that can increase their confidence and improve their problem-solving abilities. For example, a person who has never traveled abroad may gain new cultural insights and language skills that help them feel more confident and capable in a globalized world.

Stretching one’s comfort zone can help individuals develop a sense of self-awareness. When individuals step outside of their comfort zone, they often gain a better understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. This can help them identify areas where they need to improve and work to develop new skills. By gaining a better understanding of themselves, individuals can develop greater self-confidence and self-assurance.

Stretching one’s comfort zone can be an incredibly powerful way to increase confidence and achieve personal growth. By taking on new challenges, facing fears, and doing things that feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar, individuals can gain a sense of accomplishment, develop resilience, learn new skills, and gain a better understanding of themselves. With increased confidence, individuals are better equipped to achieve their goals and succeed in various aspects of life.

Set Realistic Goals

Another way to build confidence is to set realistic goals for yourself. When you set goals that are achievable, you can build confidence as you reach each milestone. For example, if you’re working on a project, you can break it down into smaller tasks and set deadlines for each one. As you complete each task, you will feel a sense of accomplishment that can help build your confidence.

One way that setting realistic goals helps build confidence is by providing a clear sense of direction. When individuals set goals, they have a specific target to work towards. This provides a sense of focus and purpose that can help increase motivation and drive. When individuals make progress towards their goals, they gain a sense of accomplishment that can help boost their self-confidence. For example, if someone sets a goal to lose 10 pounds in two months and they are able to achieve that goal, they will likely feel more confident in their ability to set and achieve goals.

Break down larger goals into smaller steps. This makes the larger goal feel more attainable and less daunting. When individuals achieve smaller goals along the way, they gain confidence in their ability to achieve the larger goal. For example, if someone sets a goal to run a marathon, they may start by running a 5K and gradually work their way up to longer distances. Achieving each milestone along the way can help build confidence and increase motivation to keep working towards the ultimate goal.

Setting realistic goals can also help individuals develop a sense of self-efficacy. Self-efficacy refers to the belief in one’s ability to accomplish tasks and achieve goals. When individuals set realistic goals and achieve them, they gain a sense of self-efficacy that can help build confidence. This belief in oneself can help individuals approach new challenges with greater confidence and motivation. For example, if someone sets a goal to learn a new skill and is able to accomplish that goal, they will likely feel more confident in their ability to learn and tackle new challenges.

Setting realistic goals helps individuals gain a sense of control over their lives. When individuals set goals, they are taking an active role in shaping their future. This can help individuals feel more in control and less helpless. When individuals achieve their goals, they gain a sense of control and agency that can help build confidence. For example, if someone sets a goal to get a promotion at work and is able to achieve that goal, they will likely feel more confident in their ability to shape their career path.

Setting realistic goals is an important aspect of building confidence. By providing a clear sense of direction, breaking down larger goals into smaller steps, developing a sense of self-efficacy, and gaining a sense of control, setting realistic goals can help individuals achieve their goals and increase their confidence.

Photo by Engin Akyurt: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-and-white-dartboard-1552617/

Setting Realistic Goals (Part 2)

  1. Identify the goal: The first step in setting a realistic goal is to identify what it is that you want to achieve. Make sure your goal is specific and clearly defined.
  2. Determine the purpose: Ask yourself why this goal is important to you. Understanding the purpose behind your goal can help motivate you to achieve it.
  3. Evaluate your current situation: Assess your current situation and determine what resources you have available to help you achieve your goal.
  4. Break down the goal into smaller, achievable steps: Break the larger goal down into smaller, more manageable steps. This will make it easier to track progress and maintain motivation.
  5. Set a timeline: Determine a realistic timeline for achieving each step towards your goal. This will help you stay on track and ensure that you are making progress.
  6. Measure progress: Identify how you will measure your progress towards your goal. This could be through tracking metrics, receiving feedback, or self-reflection.
  7. Anticipate obstacles: Identify potential obstacles or challenges that could arise and develop a plan to overcome them.
  8. Stay flexible: Remember that goals are not set in stone. Be willing to adjust your plan and timeline as needed to accommodate unforeseen circumstances.
  9. Celebrate successes: Celebrate your accomplishments along the way to maintain motivation and build confidence.

Building A Positive Mindset

In addition to practicing and setting goals, building a positive mindset can also help improve your confidence. This involves focusing on your strengths and achievements rather than your weaknesses and failures. You can start by making a list of your accomplishments and reflecting on the things you do well. When you encounter challenges, remind yourself of your past successes and the skills you have developed.

  1. Identify the goal: The first step in setting a realistic goal is to identify what it is that you want to achieve. Make sure your goal is specific and clearly defined.
  2. Determine the purpose: Ask yourself why this goal is important to you. Understanding the purpose behind your goal can help motivate you to achieve it.
  3. Evaluate your current situation: Assess your current situation and determine what resources you have available to help you achieve your goal.
  4. Break down the goal into smaller, achievable steps: Break the larger goal down into smaller, more manageable steps. This will make it easier to track progress and maintain motivation.
  5. Set a timeline: Determine a realistic timeline for achieving each step towards your goal. This will help you stay on track and ensure that you are making progress.
  6. Measure progress: Identify how you will measure your progress towards your goal. This could be through tracking metrics, receiving feedback, or self-reflection.
  7. Anticipate obstacles: Identify potential obstacles or challenges that could arise and develop a plan to overcome them.
  8. Stay flexible: Remember that goals are not set in stone. Be willing to adjust your plan and timeline as needed to accommodate unforeseen circumstances.
  9. Celebrate successes: Celebrate your accomplishments along the way to maintain motivation and build confidence.
Photo by Elina Fairytale: https://www.pexels.com/photo/women-hugging-and-smiling-4834142/

Supportive People

Surrounding yourself with supportive people can also help boost your confidence. Seek out friends and family members who encourage and support you. If you’re pursuing a new interest or skill, join a group or take a class with others who share your interests.

Supportive people offer encouragement and motivation to pursue your goals and dreams. They provide positive reinforcement and help you stay focused on your strengths and abilities. Their encouragement can help you to believe in yourself and your capabilities.

Supportive people provide constructive feedback in a kind and constructive way. They help you identify areas of improvement without tearing you down, and their feedback can help you grow and develop your skills and abilities.

Supportive people have a positive influence on your mindset and outlook. They help you see the good in yourself and in the world around you, and they inspire you to adopt a positive attitude. This positive influence can help you develop a more optimistic outlook, leading to increased confidence.

Supportive people hold you accountable to your goals and commitments. They help you stay on track and provide motivation to keep pushing forward, even when things get tough. This accountability can help you stay focused and motivated, leading to greater confidence in your ability to achieve your goals.

Supportive people provide a sense of comfort and security. They are there for you during difficult times, offering a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. This support can help you feel more secure in yourself, leading to increased confidence.

Supportive people believe in your potential and see your strengths and abilities. They help you recognize your own potential and inspire you to reach for your goals. This belief in your potential can help you to see yourself in a more positive light and to develop a stronger sense of self-worth.

Take Care Of Physical and Mental Health

Finally, taking care of your physical and mental health can also help improve your confidence. Getting regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep can all help improve your mood and overall sense of well-being. This can help you feel more confident and better able to tackle challenges.

Here are some ways in which supporting physical and mental health can help you build confidence:

  1. Physical fitness: Regular exercise is a great way to improve your physical health and boost your confidence. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters that can help you feel good about yourself. Additionally, getting in shape can help you feel more confident in your appearance and abilities.
  2. Healthy eating: A healthy diet is essential for physical and mental health. Eating a balanced diet that is rich in nutrients can help you feel more energized, improve your mood, and boost your self-esteem.
  3. Good sleep: Getting enough sleep is important for both physical and mental health. Lack of sleep can affect your mood, energy levels, and ability to think clearly, which can all impact your confidence levels.
  4. Stress management: Managing stress is crucial for mental health and can help you feel more confident in your ability to handle challenges. Techniques such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can all help you manage stress and boost your confidence levels.
  5. Therapy: If you are struggling with mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, seeking therapy can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy can help you develop coping skills, improve your self-esteem, and build confidence in your ability to manage your mental health.
  6. Self-care: Engaging in self-care activities such as taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones can help you feel more relaxed and rejuvenated. When you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to feel confident and positive about your abilities.

Supporting physical and mental health is crucial when it comes to building confidence. Engaging in regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, managing stress, seeking therapy when needed, and engaging in self-care activities can all help improve your physical and mental health, leading to greater confidence and a stronger sense of self-worth. By taking care of your body and mind, you can feel better about yourself, have more energy, and approach life with a more positive outlook.

Photo by Nina Uhlikova: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-standing-on-hand-rails-with-arms-wide-open-facing-the-mountains-and-clouds-725255/

TLDR:

Building confidence takes time and effort, but it is achievable. By practicing, setting goals, cultivating a positive mindset, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and taking care of your physical and mental health, you can build your confidence and achieve your goals. Remember that building confidence is a journey, and it’s important to celebrate your successes along the way.

In conclusion, confidence is a critical trait that can help individuals achieve their goals and succeed in various aspects of life. While some individuals may naturally possess confidence, others may need to work to develop and strengthen this trait.

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