Breasts and Penises

Summary

A transgender individual describes their personal journey with gender identity, detailing the complexities of living with both breasts and a penis while navigating society's perceptions and their own sense of self.

Abstract

The author, E. Holiday, shares a deeply personal account of their experience as a transgender person who currently has both breast and penis anatomy. They reflect on the societal implications of their physical attributes, noting the invisibility of their feminine traits in a world that still sees them as a gray-haired, 64-year-old white man. Despite having the breasts they've always wanted, they eagerly anticipate the day they can be free of their penis—a sentiment shared by many trans people who must contend with their bodies not aligning with their gender identity. Holiday has been on female hormones for over 18 months and uses their current state as a reflection on the ironies and challenges of transitioning, including the protection offered by male privilege and the anticipation of joining the gender they identify with.

Opinions

The author views their penis as an unwanted remnant of a gender they do not identify with, while their breasts represent a significant and positive change in their transition.
Society's binary view of gender is seen as a "militantly binary society," which has historically dictated the author's gender expression and identity.
The author expresses a sense of isolation and liminality, describing themselves as a "transgender tweener" in a "gender waiting room," highlighting the transitional phase they are in.
There is a recognition of the irony in the author's ability to use the men's restroom without issue despite their female hormone therapy and breast development, which goes unnoticed by others.
The author reflects on the concept of "male privilege" and its protective aspects, while also acknowledging the anticipation and determination to fully transition and embrace their true gender identity.
The piece suggests that Mother Nature has a sense of humor, as transgender individuals often desire the physical attributes that others naturally possess.
The author's advanced age is mentioned as a potential protective factor against harassment once they present fully as a woman.
The article conveys a deep understanding of the transgender experience, emphasizing the emotional and psychological journey involved in transitioning.

Breasts and Penises

Spice of Life by Jamie McCartney

To a medical student they are just another piece of anatomy. To a cisgender person, they are just another signpost of gender and sex. To anyone who is transgender, they are the cause of extreme anguish and pain or the Holy Grail of a life-long dream. I am transgender and right now I have both. I am a transgender tweener, sitting between two binary sign posts, waiting for the courage and the commitment to cross into the irreversible, my true gender wired before I was born. I was born with a penis in the 1950s, the product of militantly binary society. For the next sixties years my penis, testosterone and deep male socialization dictated my gender…until my gender executed a Shawshank Redemption-like escape. Like the movie I have had to dig through a 25-foot-deep cement wall of denial, crawl through a mile of deep emotional sewerage to finally emerge in a raging river filled with conflict, fear and confusion but with a new determination to finally be me. I have been on female hormones for over 18 months. My chest, according to the Victoria Secrets on-line bra calculator, is 40D. In disbelief I confirmed it on other sites. The funny thing is, no one has noticed. To the world I am still a gray-haired, 64-year-old white guy. No one ogles my breast. No one ever looks down. No one even cares. I go into a men’s room and I still get to pee standing up. My penis is my right to entry. It’s a non-event. It has been a strange journey to get here. I have the breast I have always wanted and a penis I can’t wait to get rid of. I am like the many trans people who have to tuck or bind something. I know my status in the gender waiting room is temporary. I am transitioning so I will need to jump on the train I have been fearfully trying to stop. It seems to be unstoppable. In that station I will pass transmen taking the opposite train, each of us jealous that the other has what they so desperately want. Mother Nature has a fabulous sense of humor. Too bad we all couldn’t meet at a swap meet. So, for a while my male privilege will protect me from catcalls and unwanted advances and maybe my advanced age will protect me when I finally present as a woman. Regardless, once I am off the train, I will willingly surrender my penis and my male privilege card for a new membership in a club that I have waited a lifetime to join.

E. Holiday

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