Serialised book (with a progressively updated >>dashboard/ToC<< page). Part III: Philosophy of the Life Instinct

Book: Philosophy of Life Instinct: Chapter 28: How to live

The only question we need to answer

Nothing matters.

It is not a fatalistic statement. It is reality.

Some will retort that our work matters, for our family and society. Others will aver our children matter, for the future of humanity. Yet others will declare love matters, for a happy life.

But if you've been following the chain of ideas in this book, you'll agree that nothing can matter when life is a meaningless impulse in a chance universe. (Or see Part I, The Metaphysics of the Life Instinct.)

So what should we do with our lives? Sink into depression? Lash out and destroy everything? Or escape into unrestrained pleasure?

No one can blame us by holding us to a higher ideal if we choose any of these, for there is no higher ideal. But we can acknowledge an odd thing within this existential fantasy or maya: we appear to have some freedom of choice. (See Chapter 6 on Free Will.)

The purpose of our philosophy, as it should be for any, is to guide the choices we make. In our life, we can choose to choose our direction or let the gales of existence buffet us hither and tither. Both are okay cosmically. But the philosophy of this book is not abject, stoic, nihilistic, or hedonistic. While seeking to discover and define it, I always intended to remain faithful to life. But why would I wander out of blind immersion in life then return? The answer can only be a combination of what I am like and not finding anything definitive that makes me abandon life after decades of searching.

You may be constituted differently and reach other conclusions from the same essential understanding of the Philosophy of Life Instinct. But if you are like me and apply its detached illumination to embrace life better, we can consider what it entails practically.

From our journey through the Philosophy of Life Instinct, the five choices that follow encapsulate the best way to apply it. Let us have a look at them.

1. Choose immersion

Having done our out-of-life exploration, let us bring ourselves back to it. If we continue our existence, there is nothing to be gained by fighting it and being miserable. So we'll align ourselves with the flow of the Life Instinct but use our understanding of its nature to make life more peaceful and joyful for ourselves and others.

The ingredients of immersion in life are — a sense of purpose, belonging, love, friendship, and value. (See various chapters in part II that examine these innate impulses.)

Have a purpose — The Life Instinct equips us with temporary drives, for example, to play a lot in childhood, study well in youth and earn in adulthood. But we can still have a spiritual crisis by mid-life and feel lost and directionless. We can avoid this if we find a purpose that can last a lifetime and keep us moving forward through a sense of achievement, even personal and limited. Living life with a goal on which we can focus avoids flailing about in a reactive morass. The aim has to be something that our emotional, intellectual and physical constitution can fulfil. Otherwise, we will abandon it out of frustration and disappointment. For example, my purpose has been to understand myself and everyone else through this Philosophy. It has kept me going since my teens and will almost certainly motivate me till my last breath. A secondary purpose has been to master English writing so I can think precisely about whatever I want. Define your purpose.

Belong to something — To believe in something is to belong to something. We find a sense of belonging in our country, religion, sect, profession, job, family, friends, and so on. Even the loners among us belong, even if to fewer groups. We need this, as we are social creatures and need both support and validation from others. So enjoy and celebrate belonging.

Love and befriend — All of us require a circle of humans. We want someone to be a witness to our life, however ordinary or accomplished it may be. To feel heard is important to us; for someone to say they understand us, that we were excellent, fine, or at least okay. Even if we don't achieve great things in life, we deserve mateship. We also want to be sure someone will remember us after we are gone. Now, we won't get along with everyone. Chemistry plays a big part in it, and it's okay if we have only a small clique, as long as we have one. Seek friends and family and express your love, interest, encouragement and support without inhibition.

Find our value — If we define what we do for others, it gives us the warmth of self-worth and confidence. For example, I am sharing this philosophy because it will help others find answers and happiness. Even as it develops, I am using my writing to make my ideas and thoughts as clear to you as I can. Work out your value for others.

2. Choose detachment

Immersion in life sans perspective and detachment has a personal, social and natural blindness that leads to all sorts of pain at its worst and shackles the joy we are capable of at its best. The aim of the Philosophy of Life Instinct, and this book, are to avoid the ignorance of the unexamined life. Our highest goal is the ability to separate our minds at will from the stream of life to watch ourselves and the world in action. If you are with me in wanting to break free from the plebeian forces of the Life Instinct and fly above it, let's use the tools it provides.

These keys to detachment are —observation, deep thought, self-actualisation and philosophy.

Observe and think deeply —It all begins with noticing. We can train ourselves to become dispassionately aware of events, actions, reactions, and states of mind. It is difficult as it needs great willpower to stand outside and observe ourselves, but once we become adept, it is fascinating. Then we need to think about the forces at work on us— personal, social and natural. Where do they come from? Why do they exist? What are they trying to achieve? If you have been following this book, especially Chapter 4 on the Life Instinct, Chapter 9 on the Intellect, Chapter 12 on Emotions, and Chapters 24 on Ethics, you have the tools at hand to understand what happens. There is great value in this exercise, whether we have the wisdom and self-control for our best actions or not. Go ahead and practice observation and diagnosis from this moment. Not intrusively, not all the time, but often enough about the things and people that matter.

Self-actualise—In Chapter 13 on Emotional Wisdom, we looked at the value of self-actualisation. If we know our nature and what constrains us, we can lose the chains of our minds to feel free and realise our potential. Self-knowledge and insights lead to self-acceptance, gratitude, humility and an appreciation for life that allows us to make the most of our talents and do wonderful things or spread joie de vivre. We recognise such souls as they embody ease, fulfilment, calmness, gratitude, humility, integrity, empathy, generosity, and humour. They were not born like that, and self-actualisation is not hocus-pocus. (Practising mindfulness and meditation also help significantly in this.) Learn and practice self-actualisation and emotional wisdom.

Be philosophical — An inevitable result of keen observation, deep thought and self-actualisation is philosophical thinking. So we begin expanding our sphere of enquiry into questions of origins, causes, reasons, meanings and values. Philosophy is the ultimate attainment of our intellect and psychology. It tempers our expectations, which are a source of much grief in the world of humans. In time, philosophical growth provides a reliable and constant detachment that enables immersion in life with the most peace and joy.

3. Choose balance

All of us have the experience that too much of something can be harmful. Sometimes we eat or drink too much, or sleep or work too much and suffer the consequences. The Life Instinct provides us with brakes to avoid overdoing things. The trick is to apply them well in time and consistently.

Here we specifically consider moderation in positive and necessary activities and not negatives, e.g., 'moderate cheating' or 'moderate abuse', etc. Our interest is in refining affirmative human behaviour through self-control.

Overdoing something is damaging for two reasons. The first is that it harms us directly, and the second is that it affects the quality of other possible activities.

For example, cleaning our home obsessively reduces our resistance to infection and takes time away from our friends or hobbies. Or, if we agonise too long over a decision, the time for something good passes away. If we are too kind to our children, they develop poor habits. If we are too strict with junior colleagues, they do not create new ideas or do their best.

We need moderation, the right balance or the Golden Mean. There are three ways by which we will achieve this.

1. Control our Time Allocation — We will note the time we spend on different activities on an average day, month and year and adjust it to be more equitable. E.g., we will increase the time spent on exercise and reduce it on social media.
2. Control our Energy Distribution — We will estimate once every week the amount of emotional, physical and financial energy we are spending on various activities. Then we will make sure none of it is disproportionate to its value for us, our family, friends and society. E.g., we will put less effort into work and more into going out with the family.
3. Control the Effect of our habits — We will take stock every few months or every year of our activities' effect on our people and us — physically, emotionally, intellectually, and the natural world. Where the outcome is poor, we are bound to find some extreme of commission or omission, which we will rebalance. E.g., we will reduce our weight by eating less, buy fewer things, think more, waste less time on social media, etc.

It's time to TEE off on balance. Begin now.

Caution: Balance does not mean abandoning anything worthwhile. It only makes wholesome activities sustainable and even more likely to succeed.

(Please see the bibliography for more material.)

4. Choose quality

In the end, if we and those who know us say we lived a quality life, it is a sure sign that we knew how to live well. But it doesn't mean it has to come about only as an accumulation of decisions that happened to be good. Quality can be made tangible and an end in itself, as a means to a good life.

Quality is an attitude. It does not necessarily need money, technology or high education. Imagine an artisan who produces objects of excellent quality. She does it because she loves the process and is invested in it, heart and mind.

In Chapter 22, we examined Quality and the steps to it. Here is a concise list:

• Connect with the activity, object or objective.
• Have principles.
• Plan anything substantial.
• Apply standards.
• Pay attention to detail.
• Be disciplined.
• Be clean.
• Be uncluttered.
• Take pride in the work.

The outcome of quality thinking is a civilised, elegant, graceful and beautiful life, even if it's only relative to the human condition. Take the above steps to quality.

5. Choose change

Life is change. No life form remains the same within one lifetime or across generations. Yet, we are resistant to change as the Life Instinct is averse to risks. But the Life Instinct also wants us to adapt. And we need not leave adaptation to evolution. We can improve as we go through life. The only thing to overcome is fear. And when we do, we are bound to be fitter and happier for it.

But what should we change, and what should we preserve? And once we have identified that, how do we do it?

On the first question, emotional wisdom, morality, and ethics provide the answers. (See Chapters 13, 23, and 24, respectively.)

Let us assume we know that the change we are considering is potentially good somehow, yet we are resisting it. There are two things we will do to change ourselves or accept an external change:

• Ask ourselves, "What are the chances?" and "So what?" — Most of our resistance to change comes from fear, whether it is changing our situation, attitudes, behaviour or work. To overcome the fear, we will ask ourselves, "What do we fear about the change?" and answer honestly. We will find that our anxiety is one of two sorts — material or psychological. For example, "I am afraid I'll be worse off financially", or "I fear I'll lose control over someone or something". For the former type, we will ask ourselves, "What are the chances?" and for the latter, "So what?" If we find the truthful answers to be that either the chances of disaster are low or the fear of loss comes from insecurity or egoism, we will know that we need to let things change.
• Willpower — Even if we know intellectually that the change will be for good, actually changing ourselves or accepting external changes often needs strength. Fortunately, we are endowed with freedom of thought and choice. (See Chapter 6 on Free Will.) With moral and ethical thinking and emotional wisdom, we can exercise our Free Will for positive changes. They may be big or small, personal or social, but every bit of progress is good in our lives.

So we'll release ourselves from our fears, embrace the wind, and let our spirit soar into new territories. We have but one life to know and experience the joy of growing.

Conclusions

Life is neither good nor bad; it just is. We can acquire the ability to choose what it will be for us. This skill comes at the price of losing the abandon of never venturing out of the 'City of Life'. We sit on its high wall, looking down at the untamed desire, grasping, laughter and revelry of unbridled human nature. We jump down and join in for a while; we dance the jig and clap with a wry smile, try to forget the irrelevance and let ourselves go. But we are condemned and blessed to feel just a little bit apart.

The intuitive life is fine, and there is nothing wrong with embracing it au naturel. Still, our philosophy can make it better by filing off its sharp and flinty edges and polishing it to a smooth and shiny nugget.

© 2021 Shashidhar Sastry. All rights reserved.

(As each chapter of the book is published, its link is updated in the ToC below.)

Table of Contents

Part I Metaphysics of The Life Instinct

Part II Philosophy of The Life Instinct

Part III The Life Instinct and The Future

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