Serialised book (with a progressively updated >>dashboard/ToC<< page). Part II: Philosophy of the Life Instinct

Book: Philosophy of Life Instinct: Chapter 15: Marriage and Family

Eroding bedrock of society

I see the power of family in action when my son goes to his big sister to learn maths, when my favourite aunt proudly tells me about her grandson, when my cousin applauds an article of mine from across the world, when we take a family picture at a wedding, and when my wife finds the perfect lotion for my dry skin. None of it would exist without marriage or something like it.

We know that the Life Instinct is behind every facet of human life by this point in the book. It has given rise to our emotional aptitudes (e.g., kindness, admiration, love, etc.) and intellectual capacities (e.g., speech, writing, and science). We have developed secondary social capabilities using these skills, e.g., sports, arts, religion, and family. We considered the contributions of religion in Chapter 11. Here, we will examine two social hallmarks— marriage and family.

We will review their origins, types, benefits, problems, and how to make the best of them with emotional wisdom.

The origins of marriage and family

In Chapter 14 (Love and Friendship), we saw how human children are dependent for a long time on their parents. At birth, our brains are far from their adult complexity, and our bodies are frail. It makes us more dependent on physical, emotional, and intellectual nurturing to begin independent life than most other species.

A prolonged period of romantic and sexual attraction, emotional bonding, and the parents’ partnership are essential for our children’s survival and health. The evolution of romantic love enabled the necessary post-birth support system. However, we found long ago in human history that love is not enough. It may break down after a child is born. And some people may never fall in love but are otherwise fine human specimens. The invention of marriage caters for both these scenarios. Even if the initial excitement of love simmers down, the marital promises of fidelity and mutual care till death-do-us-part can keep the parents together. It is surprising how well this has worked. For the loveless, family and friends can find a suitable mate to fulfil their need for reproduction, family life, and social networks.

Tribes and settlements developed arranged marriages millennia ago. As designed protection against love’s unreliability, most social systems, including religions, tried to make marriage sacrosanct and indissoluble. One of the most significant benefits of marriage is the assured creation and extension of families. A key advantage of families is that if the children lose one or both parents, they still have a robust support system to nurture them into adulthood.

Marriage became a socially and legally recognised union between two consenting adults that imposes certain rights and obligations on them and between them and their children. In its most common form, the spouses are men and women, and the wedding is conducted per their religion’s prescribed ritual. Either social or legal witnesses are expected to record and validate the event. Here are some vital aspects of marriage.

Legality — In many countries, the law recognises marriage through registration with a registrar of marriages or a civil ceremony conducted by an authorised official. The conditions for legality may recognise constitutional, religious, cultural, or sexual acceptability. These factors include age, genetic closeness, mental competency, consent, gender, marital state, and faith. (There are a few countries with religious law in force where only religiously sanctioned marriages are recognized.) One day it may simplify to a simple rule: Any consenting adults can marry.

Sexuality — The primary reason for the sociological evolution of marriage is to sanction and ensure serial sexual mating and nurturing of the union’s children. While sex is a vital ingredient in marriage, it may not always result in children. It could be due to impotence, the infrequency of sex, by choice, or due to same-sex partnerships. In such cases, the couple may continue childless or adopt a baby. (The mutual love of the adoptive parents and child can be as deep and beneficial as that of birth parents and children. It is the Life Instinct at work, just indirectly.)

Reproductive genetics and mutations have created our development and variety, including gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. It is the species itself that has this characteristic. It is not the individual's choice to be so, just like it is not a choice to be born in a particular place, with a specific set of genes that largely determine our colour, height, weight, strength or intelligence. Minorities have contributed as much as the majority to the species' progress and intellectual, emotional and physical well-being. The Life Instinct’s natural selection adds variety not only across generations but within a generation for the overall benefit of the species. Throughout history, there have been cultures that have naturally accepted homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgender people. It is not a justification but acknowledges the manifest reality of Alexander, Michelangelo, Florence Nightingale, Turing, and every ordinary minority human.

In the forms of Polygyny (one man being married simultaneously to multiple women) and Polyandry (one woman being married to multiple men), polygamy has existed historically in some societies. The reasons could make sense from the Life Instinct’s point of view. However, they are absent in most parts of the world and will probably become a relic soon.

Polyamory is romantic or sexual relations with more than one partner at the same time, with the consent of all involved. It is not significant in number or duration due to the innate expectations of intimate human attachments, the difficulties for any children, legal, financial, and social factors.

Variations on marriage and family

Arranged vs love marriage

Where society has supported it, marrying the person you fall in love with has been natural as far back as we can see. But arranged marriages have always existed too. It is hard to know its peak rates in history, but even today, early in the twenty-first century, about 55% of marriages across the world are arranged. The rate is high in Asia, ranging from 60 to 80% of consensually arranged marriages. (We must note that there is still a significant rate of forced and underage marriage in Asia, which increases these numbers if included.) It is also observed that royalty and wealthy families often arrange marriages as there are higher stakes involved.

The failure rate of arranged marriages worldwide is about 6%. (It compares favourably with divorce rates in love marriages that range from 15 to 45%.) One may say that the figure is low because more arranged marriages happen in societies and cultures that lay store by social and family pressures to keep a marriage going, whether it is good or bad. It is true to an extent. We saw why love evolved as an instinct and how we applied our intellect to develop marriage. But we haven’t sorted out their intersection. Some exalt love marriage, others arranged. What is wisdom here?

Marriage has such a significant influence on our happiness and our children’s robustness that it cries out for the use of our highest intelligence. Before and after marriage, why would we not apply our thinking minds to such an important aspect? It is not sensible to leave it entirely to our lower brain driven by hormones and sexual desire. But who should work out the best life-mate for us? The choices are — our family (the most prevalent worldwide), friends (more common in modern times), ourselves (but do we have the detachment to know ourselves and what we need?).

The compatibility between a man and a woman does not have a straightforward definition. But we know enough about it to find a suitable life partner. (Several studies indicate that similarity between partners is associated with higher marital success rates.) There can be more transparency in an arranged match compared to the blindness of love. If we believe our family and friends understand us well enough, we can rely on them to find a suitable partner for us. But should have the final say, as it is our life. Or we can use our thinking to narrow down the range of potential spouses.

As to love being the most important thing between a couple, it is likely that a broadly compatible fertile couple will be attracted to each other and get close after marriage. It would be no different from a love that precedes thoughts of marriage. Just imagine intelligent family members or friends have found a good match for us and left us both on a desert island. How long will it take for us to fall in love? Probably minutes.

So, consensual arranged marriage is fine, as long as it is with the help of intelligent family and friends who apply good criteria. It is quite likely to give us long-term happiness, even love.

Marital families

Traditional married life is still the most prevalent type of union for a sexual couple. Its two main variants are joint and nuclear families.

Joint families

The term joint family most often means one in which the sons or one son lives with his parents or near them. It can grow into a household or area in a village that comprises tens to scores of family members living and interacting closely. Joint families have been the norm for much of history in most parts of the world. It is still common in Asia (~55%), sub-Saharan Africa (~50%), the Middle-east (~40%), and Latin America (~40%).

Joint families have reduced in Western Europe (~15%), Eastern Europe (~30%), North America (~30%), and other areas of the world settled by Europeans. It could correlate with economic prosperity and cultural norms.

Nuclear families

Nuclear families form when children leave home soon after they are independent and establish separate households. The parents are left behind and cared for through regular visiting and communication. This type of family setup has grown over the last century and has become the norm globally.

Cohabitation

Live-in relationships, cohabitation, or living together by a couple can check out mutual compatibility before marriage or an indefinite arrangement. The partners have some of the rights of a married couple. Usually, pregnancy or childbirth makes the couple formalise the relationship in countries that accord it a legal status or move on to marriage. Living together does not appear to make subsequent marriages more successful.

Single-parent families

The number of single-parent families has variably grown across the world. There is a general correspondence between its numbers and divorce rates. It is not a desirable environment for children, but there is sufficient evidence that it is preferable to a dysfunctional marriage.

Same-sex families

The majority of societies, religions and national legal systems have not yet legalised same-sex marriage. It is an outright crime in several parts of the world. But one by one, cultures, religions, and countries are leaving behind evolutionary insecurities and recognising the naturally healthy variety of the human species. Gradually, we admit the rights and freedoms of consenting adults everywhere to do what they want in their personal lives. No doubt, gay and lesbian adults will be globally able to marry and have the rights accorded to heterosexual couples in a few years.

Marriage and family — the bedrock of society

Chapter 4 (Life and the Life Instinct) saw how humanity is a very social life form. No human is an island, to paraphrase Donne. We need others for survival, growth, and reproductive success. Marriage and family deliver myriad benefits for our overall well-being. Let us survey the critical ones.

Belonging, safety, and security

Our families provide us with identity, value, and belonging. These are basic needs of our self-awareness, developed in us by Life Instinct. The immediate and extended family provides a physical, emotional and financial safety net for its members. It secures us when we are growing up, establishing ourselves, and in traumatic periods of later life.

Emotional maturity

It is seen that experiencing healthy family environments when we are young makes us emotionally intelligent adolescents and adults. We then have higher levels of empathy, self-understanding and emotional control. These skills significantly increase our material success and happiness.

Health

Elders in a family share their maturity, experience, and knowledge in lifestyle, behaviour, and practices. It covers hygiene, healthy food, regular bedtime, exercise, friendships, learning household chores, cooking, etc. The incidence of heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and mental health issues is significantly lower for those who enjoy a healthy family atmosphere.

Happiness

In the family, we have the company of people we love, who love us, know us from infancy to adulthood, critique us but don’t judge us, and accept us for who we are. It is the best form of happiness and joy.

Financial well-being

Societies with strong and large family networks have provided most young adults' with business or professional foundations over several millennia. It was not just expected from sons (and daughters in many cases) that they would follow the family vocation but taken as a duty by the parents to enable and support them. It made eminent sense as the transfer of experience, knowledge, and finances were to their offspring. It also made use of the existing reputation and customer and supplier networks or employers. Parents, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, and cousins helped tide over periods of financial distress. Some of this affinity for the predominant family profession continues in large parts of the world. However, it has diminished in Europe, North America, and other developed parts of the world.

Better morals and ethics, reduced crime

People coming from strong family backgrounds are less prone to immoral or criminal activities. There is the explicit teaching of moral values by the elders in the family and from the religion followed. But the mind's occupation in interacting with people in the family and doing things with them teaches empathy, tolerance, fairness, and a sense of responsibility. One becomes a better social citizen from being a family citizen.

Longer life

The health, happiness, and financial security provided by marriage and family add to a longer life. (This is especially true for men as they benefit more from the increased social connection.) Not all of us necessarily wish to live too long, but most follow the Life Instinct’s dictates to hold on to life. Whether it makes our journey longer or more pleasant, family is vital.

When marriage becomes a rocky road

We make a lot out of the instinct and act of love, especially romantic love. The excitement, trepidation, courting, anniversaries, prose, poetry, art, drama, dance, and movies around love would be ridiculous if they were not essential elements of the Life Instinct.

But after the honeymoon period or first child, the couple knocks each other off the pedestal in their minds. We are no longer alert to every mood, move, want, and need of the beloved. We start taking each other for granted. If this were all, it would only be a sign of love settling into a long-term relationship of compassion, companionship, and familial bliss. But in ten to forty per cent of cases, it is worse.

From Life Instinct's perspective, few things are as unfortunate as the breakdown of a reproductive pair. Here are a few of the top problems that arise in marriage and long-term relationships. (The reader can look into others such as family stress, abandonment, marrying too young, impotence, etc.)

Incompatibility

One may come to know one’s spouse well only after the first flush of love has worn off or the honeymoon period of an arranged marriage peters off. One or both may find the other's physical, emotional, or intellectual aspects disappointing or abhorrent.

The chemistry (or the brain physics) of love is a mystery. And therein lies its power and danger, as we saw in Chapter 14 (Love and Friendship). What makes two people compatible? It is a combination of their physical, intellectual, and emotional interplay. The importance of each aspect varies by person. From the Life Instinct’s context, emotional compatibility may be the most important, followed by the physical, then the intellectual. It would probably best sustain such an intimate bond as marriage in the long term.

It takes communication, openness, commitment, and willingness to change or accept things to overcome serious incompatibilities. Where these are lacking, it leads to years of emotional trauma, usually for both spouses, but it can be for one.

(Sometimes there aren’t sharp differences, but the love dissipates with time. Particularly after children grow up and move out, the spouses may find that there isn’t much left between them. To bring back the spark and joy into their lives, one or both may decide to separate or divorce in an amicable manner.)

Infidelity

Depending on the world's region, between ten to thirty per cent of married couples experience at least one instance of infidelity. It can be emotional or physical, and usually happens when one, with someone else:

• Gives in to sexual temptation
• Falls in love
• Feels more valued or gets an ego boost
• Gets back at one’s spouse about something

Whatever the reason, it leaves the cheated partner heartbroken, angry and feeling worthless.

Considering how much store is laid by Life Instinct on children’s physical and psychological needs, the presence of infidelity in humans is surprising. If it provides variety in genetic combination, it seems a small gain compared to the severe harm it can do to children and adults.

So why does infidelity exist? Perhaps it is a relic of a time when humans were at risk of not surviving as a species. Considering we are so numerous and powerful now as to be almost a pest on this planet, will adultery die out? We can only hope that we are still evolving, and consistent monogamy is a part of our improvement.

Men are twice as likely as women to have an extramarital affair. So while adultery remains a reality, let us see how it may operate in the most basic manner in men: Once the man has impregnated a woman, her value drops for him subconsciously. His mind starts looking around for other women to win over and mate with. It is his evolved nature to spread his genes as widely as possible. There are excitement and mental rewards in the pursuit and conquest and an anti-climax after every success. The man may repeat this a few times in his life.

This pattern of male behaviour continues during a marriage in some cases. It may be a secret or known to both husband and wife, although they may not admit it openly. However, repeated infidelity breaks marriage in most cases.

There is less of a tendency to unfaithfulness in women. In evolutionary terms, they are more dependent on a man than the other way around, although this is becoming less and less true with time. They are content with having one man in their lives, ideally the father of their children. Also, once a woman has children, for her, they are more important than her husband. The husband continues to be useful for providing the material needs of living and more children if some don’t survive. However, if the woman has sufficient means for herself and her children, it is not disastrous if the husband leaves.

But women are as complex as men, and if they are unhappy in the marriage, and other men pay attention to them and make them feel good, they too may have affairs.

There could be an innate difference between men and women in their reaction to sexual versus emotional infidelity in their partner. Some studies indicate that women may feel more intense jealousy about emotional infidelity, and men may feel more jealousy about sexual infidelity.

[The variation could be explained by the differing instincts and needs of males (exclusive care for his genes through the wife’s sexual fidelity) versus females (exclusive care for their children and themselves from the husband’s emotional bonding). Emotional bonds can be re-established, but a woman’s actual or potential pregnancy with another man cannot be reversed naturally. Evolutionary Instinct may make it more difficult for a man to accept back an unfaithful wife. So, if a wife has an affair, it is more likely to end the marriage.]

However, these differences may be too small for us to derive any conclusion other than that infidelity in either husband or wife is a serious assault on love, marriage, and family.

Depending on the country and social stratum, 65 to 90% of marriages survive adultery. There are many reasons, but we can look at the important ones in the typical scenario of the man having an affair: The wife often forgives the husband for the simple reason that she finds it too difficult to deal with the emotional and practical aspects of divorce. The other reasons can be — to avoid adverse effects on the children, not be alone in life, or because she believes the husband is genuinely remorseful and forgives him (but she is unlikely to forgive the other woman).

As to why the man genuinely recommits to the marriage, he may have enough empathy, even love, for his wife and children to feel the effects of his affair on them. His manly ego may have been satisfied, and he may have lost the stamina to continue pursuing other females. The other woman’s attraction may have also paled. He returns to the fold of marital life and remains dedicated to his wife and children for the rest of his life. He may even genuinely regret having strayed. Trust is the essence of marriage. It can take years to regain it.

Nagging

Nagging is a low-level but insidious malady of many a marriage. Its effects are to reduce the closeness of the spouses, mutual appreciation, and the joy of daily life. Why is this such a common feature? And why is the prevailing situation that of the wife nagging the husband? (There is also the observation that wives order their husbands to do things without a second thought, whereas husbands are expected to request or suggest anything they want their wives to do.)

We know that any long-lived trait in humans is likely to be helpful for the Life Instinct. Let us consider nagging from this potentially positive viewpoint.

The first reason is likely to be the differing evolutionary mental focus of the male and female. His mind space has to do more with the outside world and hers with home and family matters. As occupations have evolved and nuclear families become common, men are spending more time at home. The wife’s natural expectation is that he shares the effort required to make it a running and pleasant enterprise. However, household and family chores do not come naturally to most males. They can be lax and slow at them. It is a major contributor to the wife’s irritation, and she nags him. Nagging can become a reflex and a pattern the wife falls into repeating, even though it is unpleasant for her and the husband. It can become a difficult habit to break. It can also extend to nagging the children.

However, this does not explain two other aspects. The nagging can be about things other than sharing the tasks of home and family life. And even there, it does not disappear towards husbands who are neat and shoulder their responsibilities. This situation is not rare. So there is something more going on.

Let us look at the second possible reason. Once married, the woman instinctively needs to ensure that the husband does not leave her and their children. The man’s self-esteem needs to be brought down a notch by pointing out his shortcomings. It is a device to prove he is no longer any good for other women. It must be made evident to the husband and other women in the social network who can be family-breakers. It works to an extent, even at the risk of discord.

There are alternatives to nagging. Genuine vocal appreciation works to balance criticism. Nagging creates distance between husband and wife when taken too far. It may push some men into infidelity or separation.

Financial issues

Those who are well off may not realise the effects financial issues have on marriage and family life. There can be two situations — insufficient or uncertain income and disparities in control of wealth and spending. The first affects our expectations of security and safety from married life for ourselves and our children. When there is a lack of quantity or quality of food, housing, necessities of life, and education, it becomes difficult to remain united and face it all together. It can lead to feelings of guilt, blame, and strained relationships.

There can be problems of plenty too. One of the spouses may be the sole earner, make a lot more than the other, or wealthy. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, unfairness, insecurity, and jealousy in the other. If the wealthier spouse also retains control over financial decisions and spending, it can increase the problem. Unless the relationship is one of great trust and mutual understanding, or they work out an equitable arrangement, it can cause rifts in the marriage.

Domestic violence

Physical and mental abuse within marriage is an emerging secret of many societies. Globally, about one in three women have experienced violence from an intimate partner. These women can experience mental health issues, depression, injuries, premature childbirth, unwanted abortion, and homicide. A small percentage of men suffer from it too, but they are twice to thrice as likely to be the perpetrators. It is one of the deep flaws in our species, several of which we will examine in Chapter 26.

Marriage is a robust vehicle for reproduction and provides social sanctions for sexual intercourse. But the innate drives of self-protection and choice in mating are core features of the Life Instinct in humans. It makes marital rape just that — rape. And rape is perhaps the most abhorrent form of violence in our species. One can only shudder at the thought of it in the supposedly safe and secure environment of marriage. (Sexual abuse by extended family members is a terrible fact of many lives too.)

Why some men abuse their wives is a topic we cannot cover fully here. But we can note that it is often a compensation for psychological deficiencies and can become an addiction. There is no excuse for any form of domestic violence from any viewpoint. It is toxic to our Life Instinct, and there can only be zero acceptance for it.

Addictions

We know that as a species, we are far from perfect. Along with intelligence, the Life Instinct has given us the ability of choice, which we often abuse. One of our deficiencies is how our brain gets addicted to a variety of things. None of us is immune from its pull to an extent. But here we are considering the clinically diagnosed medical condition of addiction. This severe and harmful type affects our marriage and family life if we do not stop it reasonably quickly. The major addictions are — substance abuse, sex addiction, porn, internet apps, mobile, gaming, food, work, and gambling.

Addiction ruins our mental and physical health, but it sucks away the time, energy, interest, communication, and shouldering of responsibilities that are the lifeblood of the relationship and wholesome family life for married people.

Factors behind increasing divorce and separation

The same Life Instinct that gave rise to lifelong love, marriage, and family has also delivered macroscopic changes that affect their prevalence and longevity.

The reader can personally explore the effects of some of these factors:

• Greater independence of women (social, educational, financial, and professional)
• Higher expectations from life and each other
• Changing lifestyles that are decreasing family time
• More opportunities for infidelity, including online
• Increasing addictions
• Reduced extended-family bonds
• Increasing urbanisation
• Marrying later in life
• Children maturing earlier
• Serial monogamy

Family problems

Despite being usually wholesome, family relationships and atmospheres become difficult for some of us for periods in life. Children fight with parents; brothers fall out; we may detest our in-laws; and a thousand variations on the theme. The usual causes of these family tensions are — property or financial disputes, generational gaps, partner choices, and cultural clashes.

As families have become smaller and moved away, the common elements between family branches and nodes have reduced. Fundamental beliefs about food, religious practice, relationships, work, etc., diverge with every generation, place of residence, and social network. When we find it challenging to accept natural differences in our close relatives, it creates unhappiness, resentment, and long-lived rifts. We may only realise how much we let something unimportant overshadow our love for a parent, child, brother, or sister on our deathbed.

Ways to a fulfilling journey in marriage and family life

If there is something worth preserving and enhancing in our adult lives, it is family and its fulcrum — marriage. Love can settle from its initial excitement into a deep and long-lasting relationship of compassion and partnership. Whether we are lucky enough to have this or not, we must not take our marriage for granted. Tending it with emotional intelligence (which we examined in Chapter 13) keeps it flourishing.

All the aspects of loving well that we saw in Chapter 14 (Love and Friendship) apply to marriage and family life, plus some more. Let us extend the list.

Before we marry

Whether arranged or from love (try especially hard in this case), if we are considering marriage, we must:

• Spend enough time together to reveal our emotional, physical, and intellectual aspects to each other.
• Talk openly and frankly about our beliefs, attitudes, and goals.
• Know enough about each other’s background on facts that matter for the future, giving latitude for old matters that don’t.
• Know that greater similarity is likely to lead to happiness together, with a few aspects of complementarity. (Life Instinct drives this balance between risk and genetic variety.)

Between spouses

• Take time out to be alone romantically.
• Do something nice for our spouse spontaneously.
• We should share what annoys us. But after sufficient thought and staying open to being wrong. Bottling things up and resenting helps no one.
• Get rid of our three known worst habits, or at least one.
• Say nice things in private and public about our partner.
• Allow each other some space and harmless secrets.
• Make time and opportunity for physical intimacy and sex.
• Do things together.
• Find common interests to discuss and explore other than people. Talk to each other. Laugh with each other. Be friends and confidantes.
• Grow emotionally and intellectually — independently and together.
• Stay physically fit.
• Husbands gaze longingly at the green grass on the other side; wives peer possessively at the weeds on this side. Usually, on closer inspection, neither is the far grass so green nor the near weeds so poisonous. Infidelity is a choice. Don’t do it. Nagging is a choice. Don’t do it.
• Observe ourselves. Question our assumptions, as they’re frequently wrong. When we are about to react negatively, give our philosophical mind the time to moderate our words and actions. Let our patience, humour, empathy, broadmindedness, and respect do their beautiful work for the most important person in our life.

For the family

• Show demonstrative love and respect for our children, combined with consistent and moderate discipline. It is ideal for them.
• Let’s behave the best for our family before others. Our nearest and dearest deserve our civility, our please, sorry and thank yous the most.
• Spend time with and talk to our parents and extended family today. Soon it will be too late.
• Repair the rifts with family members that we can. We’ll never regret it.
• More interaction between grandparents and grandchildren is good for both. Let’s encourage it.
• While the number of children should be a personal choice, having siblings is good for us. Yet, we need to stabilise the human population. We should incentivise and self-manage a more uniformly distributed global average of about two children per couple.

(Despite our efforts, marriage can be difficult while we are a long way from psychological maturity as a species. So we can use our intellect to consider long-term alternatives that may equally provide the benefits of conjugality and family networks while reducing some of their stresses. One option could be other forms of voluntary cohabitation. Perhaps the husband and wife can spend parts of their life together and, for the balance, live in male and female communes. Women will understand other women better and lead happier, more social lives. It will work for men too. The children could spend time with their parents as per their age. It could be 100% with the mother at birth to 50% by the time they are adolescents. Spouses could live together for a part of each month or year. We assume monogamy, with short periods of separation enhancing mutual appreciation and attraction.)

Conclusions

Family size has reduced rapidly over the last fifty years. Many areas of the world have seen falling birth rates, high divorce rates, and nuclear and single-parent families' growth. Migration inside and between countries has contributed significantly to family fragmentation.

Marriage has also been affected but is far from dead. The percentage of married and cohabiting adults between the ages of thirty to fifty is still the majority, at a high of ~95% (e.g., India) to lows of ~57% (e.g., France). In Europe, the US, and other economically advanced countries, the divorce rate appears steadying. These facts show that marriage still plays a major role in conjugality and the formation of families. (See UN statistics and the bibliography.)

Among our constructs, religion may erode faster. The reproductive and genetic drivers of family and marriage are so intrinsic they will exist substantially as long as we are this species. Individually, we will not become ‘islands entire of ourselves, for that would mean withering away.

© 2020 Shashidhar Sastry. All rights reserved.

(As each chapter of the book is published, its link is updated in the ToC below.)

Table of Contents

Part I Metaphysics of The Life Instinct

Part II Philosophy of The Life Instinct

Part III The Life Instinct and The Future

Published By Shashidhar Sastry

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