Beware Of These 5 Signs Of Impending Relationship Death

Not all signs are created equal and some are so serious as to warrant more careful consideration.

Our relationships all face challenges. Some more than others. Though the occasional misalignments are normal, it’s the way we handle them that sets our relationships apart.

However, there may come a time when there’s a need to take a serious look at the state of affairs to determine where you’re headed for the sake of your wellbeing. The 5 signs below, if present, should be grounds enough for you to reevaluate your position, and decide on an appropriate course of action.

Abuse

Abuse is always serious whether it be verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual.

Abusers tend to have deeply unresolved emotional and psychological issues and so fall into repetitive, negative patterns of behavior. This can make being with them dangerous in more ways than one. It’s worse if there are children involved because just witnessing incidents of abuse can cause them emotional damage.

This willingness of a partner to inflict physical or emotional harm on the other is reasonably a clear indication of the relationship’s demise. Thus the quicker victims realize this, the less harm they or their loved ones are exposed to, the better for all concerned.

“It’s worse is if there are any children involved because witnessing incidents of abuse can cause them emotional damage.”

Now, experts do say that it is possible for an abuser to can change. It is also not an easy task. It requires the realization of the harm being caused, strong resolve, time, space, several behavioral modifications, and most likely professional help.

In my personal experience, I have come to believe that a lot also depends on the abuser’s triggers. If the abuser is triggered by something the victim-partner is incapable or unwilling to change then we have a situation that calls for serious thought.

I once had a young intelligent colleague who often got physical with his partner because, as he put it, she had a “sharp tongue.” He said there were other issues but it was the “disrespect” of being cut down all the time that always set him off. After a while, she decided to leave. Her leaving did move him to want to change and he sought help but she never came back and they eventually divorced.

“If the abuser is triggered by something the victim-partner is incapable or unwilling to change then we have a situation…”

He’s since remarried. This time to a woman who is nothing like his ex, but I always wonder what happens if she has a “sharp tongue” too …and uses it.

I hope we never have to find out.

“He said there were other issues but it was the ‘disrespect’ of being cut down all the time that always set him off.”

Infidelity

Infidelity is served in a variety of bitter flavors but of particular concern to us here are those cheaters who just want to quit, so they cheat. By their design, exposure is supposed to bring the relationship’s end. They choose this dishonorable path rather than end it the right way with maturity and respect.

You could say such a relationship is dead already seeing as a partner is intent on inflicting all that anxiety, depression, resentment, and disrespect; not to mention the risk of damage to the cheater’s own reputation simply to call it quits.

“They choose this disnonourable path rather than end it the right way with maturity and respect.”

These people aside, it’s worth mentioning that infidelity is not an automatic death sentence on a relationship. A couple can rebuild their union only it will take time, will, effort, and cooperation.

Emotional detachment

Emotional detachment is at the heart of why 99% of relationships die. It’s one thing the research clearly shows can slowly creep in and end a relationship.

Here partners are no longer fully engaged with their own feelings, or the feelings of each other making them emotionally estranged, and the feeling of security with each other is gone.

Though this disconnection occurs due to several factors and builds up over time, the usual signs that it has taken hold include:

• non-availability of partners to talk about what is on their minds;
• partners seeming distracted or withdrawn; or
• partners no longer treat each other as priorities.

However, this disconnection doesn’t have to be the end. It can be helped by:

• increased emotional responsiveness by the partners recognizing and giving priority to emotional signals;
• injecting more positivity into the relationship by doing small thoughtful things for each other often; and
• being generous with compliments.

Partners only see the negatives

When partners begin to only see the flaws and nothing else, it’s an ominous sign.

Sometimes people around them detect this trend first because they suddenly realize that partners never really have anything positive to say about one another. For the one doing the fault-finding, a clear indicator is, one finds it’s always a struggle to say anything positive about the other, and so bad-mouthing them becomes a habit.

When this is the case, fault-finders can take a step back and see whether the flaws they complain about are really that big of a deal. They should also acknowledge their own flaws, which their partners put up with. For one thing, this clearly highlights their partner’s patience and understanding. So maybe they don’t deserve all that negative publicity in return.

Losing all hope

Partners losing all hope, for whatever reason, is another major sign that relationship is headed for the slab. It cannot survive challenges when the couple has already lost hope and believes putting up any effort is pointless.

Granted there are some factors that can reasonably lead us to that conclusion but there are also some that only seem so. It’s good to be sure because some relationships are worth fighting for, worth saving.

I believe people are better together. So deep reflection is called for even when it seems like the end. Perchance they find they still care about the feelings of each other, or they still see what brought them together in the first place; or maybe there are still periods, however brief, they still feel connected.

Barring any serious threats to well-being couples should explore the possibility of rekindling the flames.

“It’s good to be sure because some relationships are worth fighting for, worth saving.”