Bernadette’s Rainbow Adventures, Part 3
Dancing Naked With Giraffes
Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7
I had gotten to a wide open grassy place as the rain began to fall. I stopped walking and planted my sore aching feet firmly into the dirt. I dropped my canteen to the ground. Facing directly into the storm, I took three long, deep breaths. My feet were about a foot apart. My arms were to my sides but with palms facing outward (to my front). I then lifted my forearms up until they were at approximately a 45 degree angle from the vertical line of my spine and body. I then did what the girls back at Rainbow College jokingly referred to as, “Juicing the prism.” This is not technically correct, however, since it is not technically a prism but rather a triangle although we could debate that point for days just like we did back in Rainbow College.
The circle of light in the palms of my hands began spinning furiously in a counter-clockwise direction. This activated the triangle, or prism; a triangular circuitry of energy that was created through the three energy points of my two palms and the third point being my third eye just above my brow between my eyes. My heart was at the very center of the triangle. Once this triangle of energy was vibrating at a high intensity, the mojo started filling me. I turned my face upwards slightly to more directly meet the raindrops as they splattered my face.
It turned out to be a hell of a thunderstorm. Very quickly, the intensity of the rain reached fire hose strength. It reached cloudburst proportions and beyond. It rained so hard that my entire reality washed away. And then it started to hail!
There are two spots on the planet where hail is not only common but epic in proportion and furious in its destruction. Those places are the Great Plains of Turtle Island and the Great Plains of East Africa. As lightning coursed through the sky, I stood firmly against the marble-sized hail that was furiously pounding my naked body. I was reminded of the times when Granny Maria would slap my face bloody. I could feel my entire body bruising as it was pelted mercilessly with hail. But I held my focus on the triangle, the prism. I could feel the energy of the storm gushing through the center of that triangle into my body and down my legs into the earth. It was an enormous energy and I was surprised I was able to remain standing up. All thoughts had been flushed from my mind and I simply became the vessel for all that water and energy to flow through. It was bitchin’.
Eventually the hail diminished in size and impact and the rain diminished in volume and saturation. I had my eyes closed during the worst of the hail and I now opened them. I said very loudly up into the sky, “Thank you!”
As only a sprinkling of rain remained from the storm I broke the triangle by putting my arms down to the side. I took several deep breaths of rain-cleaned air. I then turned around. As the storm moved away from me overhead, shafts of sunlight from behind me began poking through the clouds. In short order a rainbow started to appear before me. As more sun broke through the clouds the rainbow turned into one of the most beautiful double rainbows I’ve ever seen. I quickly got back into position and reactivated the triangle/prism. With an empty head, I stared at the double rainbow as my vibration changed to match the rainbow. Soon, I could feel the outrageously intense energy of the rainbow start to funnel through the triangle/prism into my body and then down my legs into the ground. If you think drenching rain and marble-sized hail are intense, then you have no idea how intense Rainbow Mojo is as it flows unimpeded through you.
I have no idea how long it lasted but it seemed like forever. I was in a state of spiritual orgasm for longer than I ever had been. When the rainbow finally dissipated and I shut down the triangle/prism I was so overcome that I fainted onto the ground. And that was the last thing I remembered.
But then I woke up sometime later only to find that my Rainbow Quest was far, far from over.
I was lying face down in hot, wet dirt. My body was stiff and sore. I felt like I had been beaten senseless with the world’s biggest iron skillet. Lifting my head up just enough to open my eyes I looked across the ground at what appeared to be large wobbly sticks being blown about by the wind. As I blinked the dirt out of my eyes I was able to better focus. Those weren’t sticks! They were the long legs of giraffes.
I quickly sat up and looked around me. To my supreme surprise, there were about 40 giraffes standing in a circle surrounding me. From my vantage point on the ground they looked really, really tall. For the most part they were just standing there, a few of them shuffling their legs about, kicking up dust. Slowly and painfully, I got up and turned in a circle looking at each and every giraffe. They were all facing me and looking directly at me.
I was overcome with joy. I realized that those giraffes were the famous Serengeti Rainbow Patrol giraffes. I had always wanted to see them and now suddenly they were greeting me. I continued turning round and round saying, “Thank you,” to all the giraffes. I waved my arms and blew them kisses. I was so outrageously happy to see them.
And that’s when it happened. The giraffes broke into a dance. I know what you’re thinking. With those long legs and long neck how can a giraffe be a good dancer? Surely they must be clumsy dancers free of any grace or charm. Well, you could not be more wrong! Giraffes are in fact some of the best dancers I’ve ever seen on this or any other planet. And they were amazingly in sync with each other. It’s like they had years of experience dancing on Broadway.
Suddenly, the whole circle of giraffes would move in one direction around the circle then stop and turn to dance back in the other direction. They would swing their heads and long necks in wide sweeping arcs. They spun and jumped and bumped and shuffled and swung and shook and gyrated their massive bodies. They even threw some break-dancing into the mix. Promise yourself that you won’t die until you have personally seen a giraffe break-dance. It’s one of the most incredible things a human can witness.
So what did I do? I started dancing right along with the giraffes. I tried to copy some of their moves. I slowly turned as I danced so that I could see all the giraffes I was dancing with. My body was suddenly no longer sore even though it was still naked and covered with smeared paint. As I turned while dancing my hair would flip around and little rainbows flew off of my hair. I was bursting at the seams with mojo.
The giraffes and I danced for what seemed like hours. Up until that point it was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. Have you ever danced with giraffes? I didn’t think so. If the opportunity ever presents itself, go for it with every fiber of your being. It is way beyond fantastic.
Finally the giraffes stopped dancing. I kept turning around, though, as I peered up at their faces as if to say, “Okay guys, what next?”
And then I found out. All those giraffe heads that loomed so high above me suddenly came rushing down at me. Before I knew it I was staring them all in the face. Have you ever noticed how long giraffe eyelashes are? As I smiled at the giraffes, tears began pouring out of my eyes. I reached out and petted several of them on the nose. I think the heat from their collective breathing was starting to further melt the paint on my body.
I was so happy and full of joy. I was in complete ecstasy, full to the brim with mojo.
Suddenly, the giraffes lowered their heads even more, knocking me gently off of my feet onto a bed of giraffe heads. Remember those knobby horn kind of things that giraffes have on their heads? Well, if it wasn’t for those it would have been really cool. But still, it was a sensual delight lying naked atop collective giraffe heads. It’s not something I ever would have thought of to put on my bucket list.
And then, in a massive thrust, the collective giraffe heads bolted upright catapulting me into the air. As I flew up into the air I spun and rainbows were coming off of me going in all directions. What a rush it was to be flying through the air.
And that’s the last thing I remember.
I was lying in hot, wet dirt. My body hurt from head to toe. I felt like I had been wrung out like a dish rag by the Jolly Green Giant. Without moving any other muscle in my body, I opened my right eye. My left eye was partially submerged in mud. I saw that it was daylight. It felt like morning in a one-eye-open kind of way. I blinked a few times to shake the sand from my eye lids. That’s when I noticed the vultures. There were four or five of them in an old dead tree about 30 paces away. There were also three vultures on the ground much closer to me.
Oh my God! Was I dying? Was I about to be the lunch platter special for one of the world’s ugliest birds? Did I fail my Rainbow Quest? Was I about to leave my body and enter the formless world? Would I never be able to dip my tootsies in the Ganges? Or ski British Columbia? Or scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef? Or see Elton John in Vegas? Man, those were all things that I wanted to do.
Slowly and painfully, I lifted my head, allowing my left eye to open slightly. I blinked and blinked to get the mud off. As my vision cleared I saw the vulture walking directly toward me. I thought it was the end but it was nothing compared to what happened next.
Very abruptly, a fully-grown cheetah got up from where it was lounging and charged at the vulture, hissing and growling. Apparently, the place where it had been lounging was in the hot wet dirt RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I don’t think I’ve ever been so utterly freaked out in my entire life. There was a cheetah lying on the ground with me, apparently protecting me from the vultures!
With the vulture scared off, the cheetah turned around and walked up to me. As the cheetah’s face came right up to mine I closed my eyes. Was I the cheetah’s kill that it was protecting from the vultures?! Was the cheetah now going to have lunch? I fully expected to be killed but instead the cheetah started to lick my face. Geez, first I get smacked in the face repeatedly by an eccentric Rainbow Mojo Shaman woman then I get pelted in the face by marble-sized hail, and now my face was being scraped raw by the unbelievably rough tongue of a wild African cheetah.
I was always under the impression that cheetahs had the best breath of all the big cats. I don’t know why. But I can now truthfully acknowledge that I was wrong.
I don’t think they make sandpaper as rough as that cheetah’s tongue. It was like having my face removed. After about a dozen painful licks the cheetah then curled up on the ground next to me. Opening my eyes but afraid to move any other muscle, I contemplated the fact that I was lying on the ground next to a cheetah. I mean, WTF?
Then the cheetah abruptly stood up, looking off into the distance. They say cheetahs have really good hearing. Well, I couldn’t hear a thing except the throaty breathing of the cheetah. And then suddenly the cheetah turned and ran away in the opposite direction.
I sat fully upright and looked in the direction the cheetah had been peering in. Soon I heard the sound of a jeep. Slowly and painfully, I got up, brushing sand and mud off of my body. That’s when I saw it. On the outside part of my left calf there was a tattoo! As I brushed sand off of it I realized that it was not sore and painful from being brand new. It looked like it had always been there. WTF? How did it get there? It was a little cartoon giraffe tattoo.
The jeep came to a stop not far from me. Roger got out of the jeep and walked up to me. The girls at school called him Roger The Dodger but I can’t tell you why. Roger was from Montana and had a big ego and a shifty pain-body. Many wondered why he was even on the Rainbow Path. I heard that he never ended up taking the oath.
“So did ya have a good quest?” Roger was standing just a few feet in front of me. He was speaking to me but he was looking at my naked body and the smeared artwork upon it.
“Hey!”
He kept looking.
“Hey!” I yelled it a little louder. The girls in my family can really scream. Boys, too.
“Huh? What…. uh…. what?” He finally looked at me.
“Don’t I, like, get at least a robe or something?”
Roger’s eyes widened, “Oh, uh, I’m sorry. Yeah, uh, just a minute….” Roger went back to the jeep, tripping and almost falling over a rock. He reached into the back of the jeep and pulled out a bath robe which he brought over to me. My skin was so sore that it actually hurt to put the robe on. I got in the jeep to go back to the college. As we pulled away I took one last look at the mystical land of the Serengeti. Of all my Rainbow Quests this was definitely my favorite.
Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. (Originally written under the nom de plume, Stella Knoxville.)