Bernadette’s Rainbow Adventures, Part 2

Naked on the Serengeti

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7

I have a very dear friend named Monique who lives with her husband, Russell, in Jamaica. Russell and Monique are more in love than any humans I’ve ever met. They got married on a hillside overlooking Passhappy Bay. Russell owned some property right on the beach where he was building a home for his new bride and hoped-for progeny.

Russell, Monique, the shaman conducting the marriage ceremony, and about three hundred people stood on the hillside waiting…. Russell and Monique wanted to get married in front of a live rainbow. The afternoon they got married offered plenty of storm clouds and the bride and groom and their guests only had to wait about an hour and a half for a rainbow to appear. It was the coolest wedding ceremony I’ve ever witnessed. With the rainbow in the background, Russell and Monique kissed and everyone I talked to afterward said that at that moment a sharp jolt of mojo coursed through their bodies. I felt it, too. It was incredible.

The next morning there was an influx of clouds. As it started sprinkling Russell and Monique grabbed a blanket and walked up the hill to the exact place where they had gotten married the day before. They spread out the blanket on the ground and then took off their clothes. The sprinkles of rain falling on their bodies as they kissed got them in a “mood” practically instantly. They were quickly horizontal and fully engaged in lovemaking. They would stop their movement and disengage their mouths occasionally to look up into the sky for a rainbow. They continued with their lovemaking for a grueling hour and ten minutes before a rainbow finally appeared. Russell and Monique immediately proceeded to conceive a child under the rainbow.

Nine months later Monique gave birth to a nine-pound boy underwater in the bay below the hillside spot where she and Russell conceived the child a day after marrying. I wasn’t there but all 80 attendees told me that as soon as the kid floated up to the surface and took its first breath a double rainbow appeared over the bay. Not surprisingly, they named the kid, Rainbow.

And you guys think I’m a rainbow freak!

Monique had been one year ahead of me in Rainbow College. It was that last year of college for her when we were dorm-mates. I hesitate calling them dorms. It might be more accurate to call them portable tents made of corrugated tin. The entire campus was dismantled and moved on a regular basis. Anyway, Monique and I became very close friends. This was before she and Russell hooked up. We spent many hours chatting in our mosquito infested dorm room. Remember, there are no cell phones, internet, TV, cameras, DVDs, CDs, or any other connections to the mass mind allowed while in Rainbow College. We were only allowed one five-subject spiral notebook and a black-inked Rolling Writer pen. We weren’t even allowed razors to shave our armpits.

Although we were quickly friends, we really bonded in a huge way when we went on rainbow patrol together into the mighty Virunga Volcanoes of Uganda. We went there to experience rainbows but my heart was all aflutter over the prospect of seeing some rare mountain gorillas. I’ve always dreamed of sitting in a rain forest with a group of gorillas.

It was near the end of our three-week patrol that Monique and I found ourselves walking through rather thick forest underbrush. Monique motioned for me to cease all movement. We stood still as granite. We could see the leaves rustling up ahead but we could not see what was causing it. Soon, we could hear deep guttural breathing. And then suddenly a gorilla appeared from behind the foliage…. and then another gorilla…. and another and another. Before we knew it, Monique and I were surrounded by 18 gorillas, any one of whom could have had us for lunch. But the gorillas just sat down in a circle around us. They all faced us and just watched us. So Monique and I just sat down and stared back at the gorillas.

Despite tens of thousands of bugs, it was the most awesome, wonderful experience ever! After sitting with the gorillas for about twenty minutes it suddenly began to rain. It was a rainforest drencher that lasted about fifteen minutes. The gorillas certainly weren’t bothered by the rain. They never even moved. So Monique and I sat there in the drenching rain just like the gorillas. They kept looking at us and we kept looking at them.

After the rain stopped the sun began sending shafts of light down through the forest canopy. Although rain was no longer falling, the forest continued to drip on the gorillas, Monique and me. It was so freaking cool. Then suddenly one of the young female gorillas stood up on her hind feet and pointed up towards the sky.

I looked up to see what the gorilla was pointing at and saw that it was a rainbow.

It was a few weeks after we returned to base camp from our patrol in Uganda that the college announced that it was time for Rainbow Quests. These quests were like a culmination of a year’s study at the college. Each student was stripped naked and given one small canteen of water. They were then sent out into the wilderness alone. To survive it was necessary to summon every ounce of Rainbow Mojo possible. The objective was to scrape away every vestige of egoic identity in order to step into their true self. The true self is the perfectly pristine prism that creates the rainbow that is us. Each of us is a rainbow, with a chakra corresponding with each color. It was hoped that the quest would fully awaken the rainbow that each student was and thus feel the connection with all other rainbows in the universe.

Anyway, this quest was a solitary thing so I couldn’t have my dear friend Monique with me. For her Rainbow Quest, Monique was sent to the Kalahari. I’ll have to tell you her story some day. For my quest I was taken out into the middle of the Serengeti Plains, far from the nearest human settlement. Completely buck naked with nothing but a small canteen of water, I began walking the plains. The grass was green and thick and all around me there were animals grazing.

The first couple of hours or so were rather uneventful. Don’t say that to my sensitive feet, though. All the locals are smart enough not to go out into the bush barefooted. They all wear various contraptions on their feet. But there I was barefoot walking through cutgrass. My ankles were covered with cuts from the serrated grass leaves. I had stepped on numerous thorns, countless sharp rocks, and far too many piles of water buffalo poop to mention. My feet were screaming, or as the guys down at the local watering hole say, My dogs were barking! I just hate the thought of seeing my tootsies as dogs, though. That’s just all wrong. How about, “My mice were squealing?” Either way; animals were getting hurt and I didn’t like that one bit.

I had already drunk half of my tiny canteen of water and I could feel my skin starting to burn. A lot of the Rainbow Patrollers would undergo a progressive program of nude sunbathing before their Rainbow Quests in order to build up their skin’s resistance to the sun. I wasn’t even remotely that smart. After just a couple of hours my pasty white titties were screaming from the burn. The initial excitement of being naked had worn off hours ago.

With Mt. Kilimanjaro looming in the distance, I continued walking the plains not knowing what I would walk upon but eager to meet every challenge and face every demon. It wasn’t long before I accidentally almost walked right over a sleeping lion.

I thought it was a big mound of dirt to tell the God’s honest truth. Not until it jumped up, spun around, and growled at me did I realize that I was standing naked in the middle of the Serengeti Plains just ten feet away from a growling male lion. I swear this lion must have weighed 800 pounds. Even at that distance I could smell his breath as though he were French kissing me. It was disgusting in an erotic sort of way. But when I looked at his eyes I could tell that he was not looking at me! He was looking at my crotch…..

.… or maybe he was smelling my crotch. Lions don’t have the best vision but they’ve got a great sense of smell. I had been walking for several hours. Obviously, I was not exactly fresh. Whatever, it pissed me off and I yelled at the cat, “Hey, I’m up here!” It was the exact same thing I’ve said to several different male humans. The humongous male lion reacted by moving its field of vision northward. But it didn’t move all the way up to my eyes. Instead, it landed on my breasts. It wouldn’t take its eyes off my titties. That’s when I realized that the lion was a materialization of my first husband, Enrique. Enrique also could never take his eyes off my titties and crotch. In the entire 8 months that we were married he never once looked me in the eye. I should have taken that as a red flag.

I slapped my naked thigh and screamed at the cat, “Look me in the eye, you asshole!”

The giant lion looked me in the eye and an expression of extreme fright covered his face. He turned and ran away as fast as he could, his humongous scrotum slapping back and forth between his rear legs.

I’ve had several male humans leave me in the same manner….

It was just before sunset when I came upon a watering hole. I had walked and walked all afternoon. I was burnt and exhausted and I was out of water. I slowed my pace as I approached the watering hole, taking stock of all the animals gathered there. I counted four zebra, three water buffalo, six impala, five elephants, six lions, eight baboons, four wild dogs, and one very large hippopotamus. It was a veritable Noah’s Ark reunion. Sadly, there were no giraffes.

As I approached the edge of the water all the animals suddenly stopped moving and every single one of them turned to look at me. I stopped and stood still. Every single pair of eyes at that watering hole was focused directly on me. It was pretty freaking wild, let me tell you. I kept looking at all the animals looking at me and finally I put my arms out, “What? You guys never see a naked white woman before?” I turned around so that they could see both sides of me. “I have no weapons. I am not here to hurt anyone. I’m just very, very thirsty, okay?”

Not a muscle moved on any of the animals. Very gingerly, I stepped into the water. That’s when I saw two pairs of crocodile eyes popping up out of the water. Without thinking, I pointed at the first crocodile and yelled, “Stay!” Then I pointed at the second crocodile and yelled, “Stay!”

Am I nuts? Did I go looney tunes? Would my nickname now be Cabeza Loco? What was I thinking addressing those crocodiles as though they were poodles? Crocodiles don’t know what, ‘stay,’ means. Did I really think that the crocodiles would leave me alone just because I boldly asserted myself? This is definitely not what I had learned in class.

Oddly, though, it seemed to work. The crocodiles stayed right where they were and did not move. Slowly, I knelt down in the water. After filling my canteen with water I then cupped my hands and drank like I had just crossed a hot desert without water, which I had. That water may have been a little cloudy but it sure tasted sweet. I then splashed water on my face, my neck, and all over my body. I could hear my skin say, “Ahhhh.”

When I was done I stood up and looked around at all the animals. They had not moved a muscle and were all still staring at me. “Thank you,” I said to all the animals and then I turned around and walked out of the water. About ten paces from the pond I stopped and turned around to look at all the animals. They still had not moved a muscle. With my right hand I then saluted them and said, “Carry on.”

To my surprise, all the animals simultaneously began moving about again and stopped looking at me. Everything was back to normal.

I continued walking. Looking up into the almost cloudless sky, I realized that it was not likely that I would have a Rainbow Mojo experience that day. So I just kept walking, keeping an eye out for a nice place to sleep….

It was the next afternoon when I first felt the mojo coming on. There were ten times as many clouds as the day before. As I walked, my feet were beginning to feel a different rhythm. A stiff wind was blowing. My hair was on the highest level of mojo alert. Static electricity was crackling in the air. Unseen, angels were tuning up their instruments.

I had found a small river and replenished my water and then I followed the river in a northwesterly direction. Dark threatening clouds loomed on the horizon.

It was at a bend in this river that I passed through a thick stand of willows. I followed a barely discernible path and suddenly came out of the thicket into a little clearing. Hearing something behind me, I stopped and turned around. Coming from that same path that I had taken were 7 or 8 native tribal men. I then turned round and round and realized that I was a naked white woman fully surrounded by about 40 black men who were very close to being naked. Covered in war paint and festooned with inordinate amounts of body piercings, each of the jungle warriors held a spear pointed directly at me!

Wait a minute! Looking more closely, I realized that those weren’t spears! They were artist’s paintbrushes. Every savage warrior was holding an artist’s paintbrush in one hand and a palette of paint in the other hand. WTF?! As I turned round and round, the circle of savages closed in on me. They got closer and closer and closer…. There was nothing I could do.

The next thing I know 40 artist’s paintbrushes were dabbing paint onto my naked body. They were painting my body! My body quivered with wave after wave of orgasm. To this day whenever I’m in an art supply store my nipples get rock hard when I pass the artist’s paintbrushes.

I don’t know how long it took. I was in ecstasy. But suddenly all the fierce tribal warriors stopped painting. They all stepped back a few feet to inspect their work. They mumbled a few things amongst themselves and then they all abruptly bolted. Within a minute they were all gone. Jesus, why do men always run away so fast?

And then I looked down at my body. It looked like a National Geographic special. Every animal known to the great continent of Africa was painted somewhere on my body. There, in my very middle, on my stomach and chest, there was a large giraffe. It was facing to my left, looking over my left boobie at God only knows what. There was a cobra on my left arm, a flamingo on my right arm, a hyena on my right thigh, an okapi to the right of my right boobie. There was a giant female lion on my left side, a leopard on my shoulder, a baboon just north of my pubic hair. I wished I had a mirror so that I could see what they painted on my ass. It was like I was wearing African Animal Pajamas. Only I was naked.

The mojo was running strong after that.

I saw a flash of lightning out of the corner of my eye. Turning, I looked toward a very large and darkening cloud. As thunder echoed across the plains, I knew this was my chance. I could sense that the cloud was moving from west to east so if I headed due north then I would put myself directly in the storm’s path. I could experience the storm and then turn around to see the resulting rainbow. The timing seemed perfect. In my painted animal pajamas I quickened my pace and headed towards a rendezvous with a rainbow….

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. (Originally written under the nom de plume, Stella Knoxville.)