Belizean Green Iguanas

I often enjoy side hustles more than big productions. The Green Iguana Conservation Project In San Ignacio, Belize was no exception.

Today I took my nine year old to a green iguana sanctuary in San Ignacio, Belize. We’ve been on the road for ten days already and he wasn’t really keen on another “boring” educational tour just to satisfy mom.

Too bad, little man. This mind thrives on weird factoids and, hopefully, so will yours one day.

We arrived early and grabbed breakfast on the terrace of the fancy hotel where they sometimes rescue Iguanas (strictly as a sideline gig). We were overheating by the time we’d eaten (it’s 90 degrees in the shade here). And my kid was extra grumpy by the time the “iguana tour” began.

It cost $6.75 for the two of us, so my expectations were pretty low. There were only four of us in the group. Led by a young man, who was apparently our guide, down a stone pathway toward the back of the property.

Our iguana guide explained that on the way to visit the endangered green variety, we’d also be encountering some black iguanas. That they often just “showed up” on the path.

My expectations continued to plummet. At this point the whole tour started to feel farcical. And of course no iguanas immediately complied with his prediction. I was bummed.

We continued down the path while I contemplated all the incredible things I could have done with my six dollars and seventy five cents.

When suddenly, my kid was squealing in delight as he spotted the first black iguana. True to our guide’s prediction, it had just “shown up” on the path, dead ahead of us. Was this some kind of voodoo magic?

We moved closer to take a look and snap some pics.

We were pulled up short by a lady in the rear of the group. She was grimacing. “Ah, they’re going to be right there like that? Nah, I’m not cool with that”. And just like that, she bailed. On an iguana tour. Because there was an iguana on the path.

Side note: yes, she was American (I know you all were wondering).

Well, that left just the kid and I plus one other dude, James. We saw a few more black iguanas as we continued. Our young guide explained that there’s no need to protect this kind because they’re such fierce predators and nobody likes to eat them anyway.

By the time we reached the screened in area that housed the green iguanas, the tour was feeling amateurish at best. My son was starting to zone out and I overplayed my enthusiasm to balance out his eye rolling.

But we learned a lot about those reptiles, hanging out inside the enclosure. Yup, we were allowed inside (that lady who bailed would have crapped herself by now).

There was no glass or mesh or anything separating us from the iguanas but they were all pretty distant at this point.

Apparently the staff at the Iguana Sanctuary hunt for females each mating season, attempting to reach them before poachers do. Eggs in utero are quite the delicacy, so pregnant females are most at risk.

Then the staff search out nests of eggs (often 40 to 50 eggs in a dirt pit) to incubate them st the Sanctuary and decrease the mortality rate. They get to play God: influencing the sex of newborn baby lizards by controlling the heat. Hotter eggs become boys. Girls cook at cooler temps.

We also learned that green iguanas can change color during mating season. Females get greener, while males develop a rust orange hue. I was envisioning a peaceful Fall-inspired romp in the bedroom, when the guide announced that one male can impregnate up to 30 females in a single day. Holy Gigolo Lizard!

Of course, I was fascinated. The lil dude? Not so much.

To be fair, the interest of any nine year old might be waning at this point. but mine was exuding a malaise that was sliding into outright disdain. When suddenly, our young iguana sage asked if anyone was interested in feeding the reptiles.

This brought the boredom to a screeching halt. “Me”, yelled my son, “pick me”. Turned out there were plenty of chia leaves to go around, so we all got a turn. What started out as a few inquisitive lizards, turned into a feeding frenzy! At one point there was a four iguana pile up!

The kid was loving it. And truthfully, so was I. The only person who was a little put out was James, who suffered a minor flesh wound attempting to feed a particularly enthusiastic lady lizard.

Eventually, the frenzy died down and the iguanas began to soak up the sun, replenishing the fuel they’d spent grabbing at food from insane tourists. Turns out they have a lot of skills at storing up resources for later use.

This is when the discussion turned to fighting, as two males had a stand down over some territory. “They don’t usually fight unless it’s mating season” the guide remarked. “Really?” I quipped, “thirty women isn’t enough?” That resulted in snickers from everyone who wasn’t underaged.

“Any more questions?” asked our iguana expert.

This met with blank stares.

“Well, at this point, someone usually asks how the males have enough stamina to mate with thirty females a day” he offered, smirking. “Yeah, that’s a lot” agreed James sheepishly.

The young guide paused, for dramatic effect, and then announced “they have two penises”. And get this, they can alternate!

Pretty much everything after that moment was anticlimactic (pun intended).

But if you’re ever in San Ignacio, take the opportunity to spend time at the Green Iguana Conservation Project. It was one of my favorite experiences in Belize.

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