My Child Loves All-Inclusive Resorts
This is how I broke him of that addiction and why I want to teach him how to travel in a more authentic way
I’m Tackling This Alone
My kid was only six when I realized I would be solely responsible for exposing him to the big wide world.
During our marriage, my ex didn’t demonstrate a lot of desire to travel outside the US, or even outside of Colorado. Once we reached the end of our long and drawn-out divorce, it became even clearer that taking our son overseas would be my job alone.
My first solo vacation with him was planned and executed in just two days. I was exhausted after an intense holiday season at work and decided that a week stuck in Colorado might be the death of us.
Normally I avoid resorts, preferring more intrepid options. I’m Australian, after all. But the decision to travel solo with my then 6yo felt daunting. Scarier than the three months I’d spent in Southeast Asia in my twenties. Or the rugged trip I took across Tibet and into Nepal after Grad School.
So I wimped out and chose the obvious chicken shit option: an all-inclusive resort near Cancun, Mexico. It was neither the biggest, nor the fanciest place, but the flight was short and we could afford to stay five nights.
And of course, he fucking LOVED it!
The following year, we took my Brazilian lover on an almost identical trip. It was both better and worse for all of us. I felt like I was now responsible for not one, but two babies. My boyfriend bemoaned the lack of romantic trysts, and my son was pissed off when we insisted on spending a night in town.
My god! We left the resort grounds and took a taxi into Playa del Carmen for the evening. The horror!
By our third consecutive trip to Mexico, my kid and I were already suffering from all-inclusive fatigue. No boyfriend this time, thank God. But we did try to mix things up by switching resorts and staying a little longer (a whole seven nights).
It was more relaxed with just the two of us. But the buffets and foam parties were getting old. At some point, I offered up the idea of going into town again (leaving the resort like we had the previous year). And my 8yo child frowned in disdain and said, “That town is disgusting. It stinks!”
Holy crap, I thought, I’m raising an entitled asshole!
That was the moment I knew I’d have to break him. Break him of this ridiculous addiction to all-inclusive cushy resorts (plus any other prejudices he picked up along the way).
Traveling to different countries, and discovering new cultures, has been a rich part of my own backstory. How could I fail my child like this? The last thing I ever wanted to teach him was that traveling should feel protected, or insular. If you’re only interested in jumping in a swimming pool with other wealthy tourists, then I can’t help you buddy. All-inclusive resorts were clearly not the answer. They offer a pretend reality, while avoiding any actual exposure to the real culture (which often lies just beyond the gates).
I resolved to do it differently next time.
We Broke The Curse!
Which is how we ended up in Belize for 18 nights this Summer. Just the two of us. And not a single one of those nights were spent in a resort. Truthfully, I bit off more than I could chew. But it was a great learning experience. For both of us!
Interestingly, it turns out my kid actually enjoys the more adventurous side of intrepid travel. He’s happier in the mountain towns than the beach towns. He enjoys discovering new flavors and trying local foods, even more than the buffets he adored in Cancun. He prefers climbing ruins and underground caving to snorkeling or chillaxing on a remote island in the Caribbean.
Then again, simple things still aggravate him. Walking too far in dusty, hot conditions makes him grumpy. Carrying luggage while doing this is unacceptable (an unfortunate but necessary part of traveling). And both of us are lily-white so too much time in the Caribbean sun can be painful.
Luckily, critter encounters push these concerns aside. Especially animals we don’t see much at home. Turns out, almost any hardship can be overcome with the promise of monkeys (or ice cream). We ate a crap ton of ice cream on this trip.
Takeaways
Firstly, this kid is definitely my “mini me”. We travel well as a duo and have lots of similarities. Yet, he’s also his own separate person. Most notably, he’s not good at entertaining himself with writing or reading, like I am. I bought him a travel journal for this trip and there was almost zero engagement. Which bummed me out, as a mum and as a fellow traveler.
However, that might be my own fault. A result of my own reckless parenting choices (allowing screens and/or working too hard to keep him “entertained” during earlier trips). Or it might be inevitable with his generation. Only more time and travel will tell.
Secondly, weaning a child of his cushy travel preferences is no picnic. Don’t try to eliminate the AC, breakfast buffets, foam parties and screen time all at once. You need to tackle that shit in stages. Unless you’re ready for a complete overhaul of your sanity. Be prepared for an immense amount of one on one time, unless you luck out and meet other single mums off the beaten path.
In hindsight, 18 nights in a developing country, with a fourth grader was perhaps too bold of an idea. Like trying to ski a double black on my second day at Vail.
I don’t regret it. Experiencing another culture with my child was so worth it.
Parenting is fucking hard. And so is traveling. Go easy on yourself. Just because your kid is a jerk sometimes, doesn’t mean he’ll automatically turn into a self-important twat as he matures! You have at least a decade left to correct the course!
And that’s my job: to mold my child into a decent human.
One day, one adventure, at a time.
Trip Highlights for You Travel Nuts
- Underground river cave trip through Actun Tunichil Muknal where the Mayans made offerings (and occasionally sacrificed people) to the rain god Chaahk
- The Green Iguana Conservation Project in San Ignacio
- Swimming with crocodiles in the Monkey River in Southern Belize (our guide Percy didn’t mention the crocs until after we got back in the boat)
- Hiking up Xunantunich in San Ignacio (we traveled on a hand-cranked ferry to get there and met Fred, the local spider monkey)
- Trying every fresh juice imaginable: cantaloupe, coconut, mango, papaya, pineapple, orange, sorrel, soursop, and watermelon
- Learning to call the howler monkeys
- Discovering hidden waterfalls at every opportunity
- Diving into extra salty water from the high jump platform on Caye Caulker
- Snorkeling on the Barrier Reef, even touching the nurse sharks
