Autism Acceptance in April
Autism acceptance and Autistic appreciation
Autism is a neurotype, not a disease
Every April and October, many Autistics experience re-traumatization through the use of blue profile frames and puzzle pieces everywhere.
Every year, autistic people try to educate others on the harm caused by certain organizations which speak over us and for us, but don’t listen to us.
They are then shouted down by “autism moms” and other neurotypicals who further speak over them and for them.
This has to stop.
Parents of autistic children can and should be an important part of the autism community. However, if you’re not autistic yourself, then having an autistic family member does not give you the right to speak for us — just as we should not speak for communities to which we do not belong.
Please listen and learn from autistics who share their stories, experiences, and perspectives.
On the other hand
If you have been wondering if you might be autistic… then you probably are. Neurotypicals don’t tend to spend hours, weeks, months, even years agonizing over their neurotype (or so I’m told).
Apparently neurotypicals also don’t shell out thousands of dollars for books, private therapy, and private assessments to confirm they are, in fact, neurotypical.
“If the primary language of the society in which you were born is well-suited to the purpose of describing your sensory experiences, your needs, and your thought processes, you may have neurotypical privilege.” — Dr. Nick Walker
There are so many barriers to being formally identified, which must be very vindicating, but is out of reach for most of us.
My choice to use the word diagnosis in the following piece is not intended to pathologize, nor underplay, the importance of self-discovery and self-knowledge.
This was intentional, a clap back at gate-keepers, in the hopes of validating the experiences of those who feel like “imposters” because they don’t have a formal diagnosis.
The idea that autism is a disease from which we suffer is so prevalent, that neurotypical people have been offended on my behalf when I’m referred to as an Autistic Writer or an Autistic Scholar.
First of all, I don’t remember asking neurotypicals to choose for me whether I prefer identity-first or person-first language — oh right, that’s because I didn’t ask them.
For anyone who still needs to learn this: do not speak for a community to which you do not belong.
Apparently it’s inconceivable that I could be both Autistic and a scholar. I can only be a scholar “with autism”. Sorry, I left my autism carrying bag at home today, along with my patience for this ableist bullshit.
In April, instead of spreading “awareness”, let’s extend acceptance, understanding, and appreciation for the unique qualities of neurodivergent people.
We’re neurominorities, not a lower class of human beings.
People who grow up being catered to, simply because they outnumber others, do not learn to accept and celebrate differences.
Those who live with privilege often become entitled, believing they feel more at ease in the world because they are inherently better, rather than understanding that things are easier for them because society was built for people just like them.
Believe autistics
If someone caught their finger caught in a door and said “that really hurt!”, you would likely sympathize, perhaps offer to get them some ice.
Unless you’re a total jerk, you probably wouldn’t say “oh, it couldn’t have been that bad, my second-cousin’s neighbour’s ex-wife got her finger caught in a door and she was fine.”
You also (hopefully) wouldn’t say something like, “well, that’s your experience, but my I choose for my child to have their finger slammed in the door because those doors are different from this one, and because our doctor told us it was the best thing we could do for them.”
A silly example, yes, but stay with me.
If a single autistic person tells people their individual experience with an organization (or with a particular type of therapy) was negative, perhaps that was an anomaly.
When tens of thousands of autistic people say they find a particular organization harmful, and a particular type of therapy abusive — and years of research and peer-reviewed journal articles support their views — then this is the case. Full stop. No question.
There is no room for “well it works for my child” anymore. There is way too much evidence and there are way too many personal stories for people to continue ignoring and dismissing them.
Tomorrow is April 1st. If you care about an autistic person, or about the autistic community, then please, listen to us and believe us.
Happy Autism Acceptance Month!
© Jillian Enright, Neurodiversity MB
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References
Walker, N. (2021). Neuroqueer Heresies: Notes on the neurodiversity paradigm, Autistic empowerment, and postnormal possibilities. Autonomous Press.
