Are You Stuck In The Complacency Trap?

It’s easy to get comfy and not challenge yourself.

I don’t know about you, but I suspect there are many out there like me.

Taking the easy road.

Telling yourself that you’re OK with how things are.

Telling yourself that you’re satisfied with most aspects of your life.

So I ask myself: “ Is it fear that holds me back from really growing into the person I dream about being? The person I know I can actually be?” I don’t think it’s fear. I think it’s laziness.

The truth is you can talk yourself into anything.

You tell yourself you are OK with life, because to reach for the stars is frightening and uncomfortable. I know that the older I get, the harder it is to escape those trapped feelings and reach my true potential.

As a youngster I felt trapped growing up in a family that never understood me. My parents didn’t let me flourish in my individuality. Instead, I had to morph into the person they wanted me to be. As I entered me teen years, this led to mutiny. I was so rebellious that they almost disowned me!

Then I went through a stage of feeling trapped in many relationships. Not all of them were bad, and none of them abusive. But most were not really satisfying my soul’s needs either. Yet I overstayed my welcome, because escaping was too much hard work. Complacency was easier.

I wanted to do so many things when I was younger. But I knew that discomfort and unfamiliar situations awaited me, so I stayed small, and down low, in my complacent confinement.

Complacency is bad news

Sure, it might be comfortable.

But beware! It can ruin your life.

The longer you stay trapped in it’s confines, the harder it becomes to actually get out.

I’ve tried to tell myself that I’m Ok with everything. Even happy with everything. Yet if I really sit down and examine what’s happening around me, and importantly, within me, I know it’s a lie. I’m miserable in this complacent existence. And the longer I stay here the worse I feel.

“I really try to put myself in uncomfortable situations. Complacency is my enemy” ~ Trent Reznor, musician, singer-songwriter, composer.

The truth is: Feeling comfortable is not the same as feeling fulfilled within your heart and soul.

Get out of that trap

My massive “Aha” moment came when I understood that if I don’t change my living and earning situation then nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to change for me. And for the first time in a long time, the fear I had around nothing changing was greater than my fear of freeing myself from these confines.

I’m no psychologist, but I’m pretty sure that the reason most people don’t change is because the pain of your current situation simply isn’t bad enough.

You see, I have spent nearly two decades in a state of complacency. I knew things were bad, but they weren’t bad enough for me to do something about them.

For the last couple of years, I have complained endlessly to my partner about our living situation, and my earning capacity. A few months ago, I suddenly understood in the depths of my heart and soul, that unless I stepped up nothing would change.

What does this mean for me?

Well, for a start it means taking my income earnings to a new level. I can do this by committing to full time work. This will bring in the income I need to support us to move. It also means we can start building our house — the home of my dreams.

You might be thinking I’m ridiculous for not taking these steps sooner. Don’t worry, I think I’m pretty ridiculous too. But I was so trapped in the easy, complacent existence, that I put up with it. I wasn’t prepared to challenge myself, to commit to working differently, or grow in a positive direction.

I was comfortable. Until I wasn’t. And that’s the only way out of this trap.

Being satisfied

Satisfaction is a lovely sweet spot to be in. However, being 100% satisfied leaves no room for the desire to grow further. Perfect satisfaction puts you in danger of sliding into complacency. A complacent attitude can throw you off balance, and in the extreme, derail your entire adult life.

My number 1 tip for tipping the scales

I can’t speak about what may or may not work for you, but I can share what has helped me in the last few months to shift beyond complacency:

· I wrote out a plan of what needed to change. I mapped out the steps of how I will do this, wrote up a timeline, and have begun implementing these changes.

For the first time, in a very long time, I feel positive.

I feel like life is heading in the right direction. I fell as though my dreams are actually able to materialise. And that’s huge for me.

Fun fact

The opposite of being complacent is to be: Passionate, Committed, Earnest, Eager, and Steadfast in reaching those life goals, to live a life well-lived.

Don’t let complacency drag you down. Find your reason for pulling yourself in the opposite direction.

“If you opt for a safe life, you will never know what it’s like to win” ~ Richard Branson

Here’s to your freedom to truly grow in 2024.

Silva x

P.S. Please share your tips for moving beyond a complacent existence, towards your dreams.

Need help to shift your mindset out of it’s comfort zone?

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Silva Mirovics is a Melbourne-based writer, gerontologist, yogi, vegan, and owner of Words by Silva. She has a Degree in Health Science, and a Research Masters in Gerontology.