How To Stop Being Small: 5 Ways To Stand Tall

Do you find yourself often shrinking away, far out of sight? Well, it’s time to step forth and shine!

I’m 5ft 10, or 178cm in metric terms. I’m a tall woman.

I reached this height pretty quickly.

If I remember correctly, I was about 11 years old and way taller than all the other girls at school. I hated posing for school photos because I’d be head and shoulders above everyone else.

I used to try to make myself shorter than I was. I didn’t want to be the one sticking out.

Buying clothes was difficult. I often struggled to find pants that were long enough.

For goodness sake, I rarely even wear heels!

This desire for smallness spilled over into other areas of my life.

I never wanted to stand out or excel. I’ve hidden my real self away for too long.

If you’ve read my other stories, you will know that this year has been all about change and growth for me. I am working on shifting out of the negative head space and taking huge strides forward. As my self-awareness grows, I notice transformations occurring in every aspect of my life.

One hurdle I’ve had to overcome has been to stop being small.

Why do you make yourself small?

A whole book could be devoted to this topic.

But in short (no pun intended), this is a common occurrence that grows (haha, again, no pun intended) over time. Children, unless they’ve experienced abuse, start out full of life, wonder, excitement and love. They naturally stand tall and in their power.

Over the years things begin to hack away at your being:

· Someone makes fun of you enough times that you believe you don’t fit in

· Being judged is too challenging

· Low belief in yourself exacerbates low self-esteem

· The thought of being criticized is terrifying so you shrink away from any challenge

· Confronting someone, even when you know they have done the wrong thing, is too scary so you keep yourself hidden away.

For a tall person like me there is fear around the actual physical act of standing tall in case I make others feel small or intimidated. I spent many years standing a little hunched forward. Or, taking my weight to one leg and throwing my hip out to make myself seem shorter.

I was prepared to damage my spine and muscles so that others would think I wasn’t tall.

So, eventually I realized I had to change my position. Yes, physically. But also mentally. I had to change my view of myself and stand up. Because no one else is going to make me shift from small to tall. Only I can make this change.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you” ~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

5 Ways to stand tall

1. Surround yourself with those who make you feel good. Develop relationships with people who support and encourage you. These people are a shining light of positive energy and when you spend time with them your energy shines and your confidence grows

2. Make time for mindful self-reflection and find ways to accept who you truly are. Embrace all aspects of yourself, flaws and strengths, knowing you are wonderful just as you are

3. Challenge yourself to face your fears. This guides you to the boundaries, and beyond, of your comfort zone.

4. Take time to consider all the amazing things you have already achieved. These don’t have to be world-changing events. Begin to acknowledge the positive changes you have created. Learn to challenge the negative self-talk. When you catch yourself in that space, replace the thought with a positive one because you know you deserve self-talk that is positive and kind

5. Participate in activities or clubs that you really enjoy. Whether that’s jogging, yoga, book club…whatever it is for you. Do what you love and you begin to feel 100% better about yourself.

Hear your calling and stand tall

It’s human nature to shrink away because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, responsibility, self-worth. All of these fears keep us small.

Imagine if everyone shied away from their calling.

You certainly wouldn’t be living the life you do without these people stepping forth and standing tall. Even in the face of failure or criticism, they heard a calling, had faith, and took positive action.

Heck, even every writer here on Medium is putting themselves out there because they responded to their calling to write and spread their message around the world — even at the risk of criticism.

Stand tall, feel strong and grounded and step into a life full of potential.

Here’s to your light shining brightly,

Silva x

P.S. Have you ever shrunk away from a challenge, or even an idea? Or perhaps you used to make yourself small and invisible, but now you stand tall. Please share your experiences if you don’t mind. I’d love to read them.

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Disclaimer: All content is the writer’s thoughts and opinions, published for your learning and enjoyment. The writer takes no responsibility for any outcomes or experiences you may undergo due to reading the material.