Are You Afraid Of Success?
Do you feel like something is always holding you back? It could be a fear of success.
It sounds ridiculous right?
But it can affect many people.
It's not uncommon for leaders and entrepreneurs, or any one really, to be afraid of achieving success.
So, how do you know if this relates to you?
It feels like no matter what you do, what actions you take, you can’t get ahead. You’ve been trying to get that promotion at work but always just miss out. You’ve launched a couple of businesses that seem to fall flat on the ground, even after initial success. You’ve completed dozens of courses of study, but find yourself still stuck in the same old place.
Fear of success
Have you considered that you have a deep-rooted fear around success?
It’s hard to comprehend that someone could be afraid of succeeding. Yet I can tell you, from first hand experience, that this is a real thing.
As with most things in my life, I have learnt the hard way, after taking the longest detours known to man. I woke up one morning and it dawned on me that I am actually scared of success.
How weird is that?
Yeah, pretty weird indeed.
Fear of failure is more obvious. It’s more palpable as you're aware of its presence. That fear drives you forward because the alternative is something you cannot even contemplate.
But being afraid of success though? What’s that all about?
With success comes increased responsibility, exposure, risk and change. And when you believe you’re not good enough, smart enough or deserving enough, you will go out of your way to sabotage the very thing that you thought you wanted.
I’m an expert self-saboteur
I didn’t realise I was one until about 6 months ago. If I’m onto a good thing I end up tearing it down. Because I have often felt as though I don’t deserve success. I won't burden you today with the intricacies of this, where it stems from, or why it still hangs around.
Everything starts off peachy and perfect. I can’t believe my luck. Then BAM! I ruin it in some way or another.
I’ve stuffed up great relationships, job opportunities, and business ventures all because of this fear of succeeding.
I used to think it was because I just wasn’t good at stuff, until one day I saw it for what it was. I was afraid of what all that success would mean, and whether I actually deserved it.
Why is there fear around succeeding?
As with most fears, fear of success is rarely based on reality. Rather it stems from some deep rooted belief about ourselves, that simply isn’t true.
Some of the underlying factors include:
Being judged — With success comes attention. Sure, this attention can be positive, which is awesome. However, the thought of being criticized or judged by family, friends or society can cause so much anxiety that you withdraw from the race all together.
Imposter syndrome — Ah, that niggling voice of self-doubt creeps in. You feel you don’t deserve this success. You don’t trust your own abilities. You believe you’re not skilled or educated enough to actually make it happen.
Self-sabotage — My personal fav. That long-held belief that you’re not good enough, not deserving enough to have what you want. So what do you do? Well, you go out of your way to sabotage your path to success. By the way, you don’t make a conscious decision to put up roadblocks. This happens unconsciously because of deep beliefs about yourself.
Stepping outside your comfort zone — For some this can be so challenging that staying within the walls of what you are familiar with is the safest option. Success means embracing change, and it seems easier to stay with what is known and predictable, no matter how dissatisfied you are with the present status quo.
Fear of failure — Hmm, yes, fear of success can be linked to fear of failure. The more you achieve, the more there is to lose. You fear failing, but you stop yourself from achieving, because the success might expose you to more failure.
We’re a complex species sometimes, that’s for sure.
Renowned motivational speaker, consultant and writer, Denis Waitley has this to say about the fear of success:
“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy”
Embracing success
Every person’s experiences around fearing success will be different, and this article is a simple outline to get you thinking about the topic.
If you identify with a fear of success then you can begin to examine why this is true for you.
Some steps you can begin to take today to move towards embracing success include practicing self-reflection, exploring your limiting beliefs, seeking ways to boost your confidence, and taking small steps to expand your comfort zone every day. (You can read “Are you too comfortable? 5 steps towards growth”).
Here’s to you moving toward your success,
Silva x
P.S. Take it one step at a time, and always be kind to yourself. Oh, and share this article if you found it helpful. I greatly appreciate your support.