MEDIUM FOR DUMMIES — PART 2
Are You One of the Unusual Writers?
It might be about you, do not read this!
After a lot of requests from my imaginary followers, I decided to write a part 2 for my best viewed story Medium for Dummies.
We have covered different kinds of followers last time. In this part, we shall discuss unusual writer behaviour patterns.
The Writers who use irrelevant tags
Some of these writers write about ants, but they tag their story under “Life.” Do they mean they have seen ants in their lives?
There are others who talk about garbage and sewage, but they tag it under “travel.” What do they intend to say ? The shit is same everywhere you travel ?
The Highlighters
They are like our family members who like to give us their unconditional love.
They look for a fresh, non-highlighted story that’s just been published and highlight it everywhere, from the header to the footer.
If possible, they would even want to highlight and thank the gorilla and its photographer in their Unsplash images.
The attention seekers
It is easy to spot them. They manufacture and hold the copyrights for plenty of click-bait titles. Their story titles contain private parts, undergarments, swear words, celebrities, their dogs, and their doodies.
Some of them use paraphrasing tools specialised in profanity, where the tool substitutes the text with relevant fudjectives and fudverbs.
The listicle writers
Few of them write meaningful listicles, while others slightly expand on their grocery list and post it on Medium.
If their grocery list has eggs, bread, and rice, their Medium posts for the week would be
- 12 ways to find the owner of the eggs (good luck finding the hens).
- Find out which is not a bread (Hint : Sweetbreads are not a type of bread).
- 3 ways to identify if your glutinous rice has gluten (it doesn’t, you dummy!)
The newbie writers
They are an overly enthusiastic bunch. All they need is some encouragement and support. You just need to read one of their stories, comment, or clap, and they will follow you around like a puppy, reading and clapping every article you publish.
Some of them even write articles like “Medium for Dummies” and use puppy pictures everywhere. Who are they kidding?
Not a Disclaimer : All the characters described above are real and any resemblance to the living or dead is purely intentional.
Taking Satirical articles seriously is injurious to your health !
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