OPEN LETTERS

An Open Letter to the Other Writer Who Wants to Be Top Writer in Keanu Reeves

Time for a reality check, Buddy

Dear Other Writer (who wants to be Top Writer in Keanu Reeves),

Know your limits, Rocky! With time, it won’t be any easier.

Even if you did become presto

A Top Writer in Keanu Reeves, for you, it wouldn’t be more than an antic.

Not a dream come true. Not a life achievement. Just another badge in your book.

U still wouldn’t be a true fan, Rocky.

Real top writer in Keanu ain’t that an easy thing. It isn’t about adding a tag or two at the end of silly stories.

Emotions! That’s what you need. Being a top writer is about love. Your love for Keanu. And do you really love him? Would you drink the water from his bath?

Excuse me, but did you watch all of his movies? I’m not talking about The Matrix or John Wick (did you even watch these, by the way?). I’m talking Generation Um…, Freaked, My Own Private Idaho,

Vulgate movies almost nobody watched, even by error.

End it, Rocky. I know you don’t love Keanu. You didn’t watch Speed more than 50 times, did you? You think you’re a hotshot, am I right? Well, pop quiz, hotshot, there’re two messages hidden here.

Surprise! Once you read only the first letters, beauty appears in ALL CAPS. If you read only the last letters, what do you see? A lower case Rocky Shores.

Topwritingly yours,

The Top Writer in Keanu

Smillew is a writer, a tweeter, and a dreamer of Keanu Reeves. He also enjoys tagging Rocky Shores in his stories. Some he does well, some not so well, but he still tries them all. You can follow him on Instagram (if you can find him).

Rocky, wouldn’t you be happier as a top writer in Santa Claus?