An Open Letter to People Who Say I Look Young For My Age

Summary

The author, who appears youthful for his age, expresses frustration with constant comments about his appearance and the patronizing behavior he encounters due to this misperception.

Abstract

In an open letter, the author addresses the widespread perception that he looks younger than his actual age, a phenomenon he has experienced since adolescence. Despite being 43 years old, people often guess his age to be between 20 and 28. The author has a slight build and little body or facial hair, which he contrasts with his brother's more hirsute appearance. After a medical check-up revealed normal testosterone levels, he concluded that his youthful looks are not indicative of a hormonal issue. The author reflects on the challenges of being treated as younger than he is, including the patronizing attitudes he encounters, and the dilemma of whether to disclose his true age to avoid such treatment. He appeals to readers to be more considerate and not make a big deal out of someone's youthful appearance, as it is something the individual is already well aware of.

Opinions

The author is weary of the frequent comments and reactions to his youthful appearance.
He perceives that older individuals can be patronizing towards those who look younger.
The author has considered the possibility of a hormonal imbalance but has been medically cleared.
He believes that people treat individuals differently based on perceived age, which can be frustrating and disrespectful.
The author feels that the shock and disbelief expressed by others when they learn his true age is tedious and comparable to repeatedly commenting on a short person's height.
He has developed a strategy for revealing his age based on the likelihood of a continued relationship with the person he is interacting with.
The author advocates for a more sensitive approach to discussing someone's youthful appearance, emphasizing that the individual is already aware and does not need constant reminders.

Yes, I already know. Please don’t rub it in!

Dear Everyone Who Ever Meets Me For the First Time,

Yes, I know I look young for my age. You don’t have to tell me. I get this ALL THE TIME!

Ever since I was a teenager, people have always thought I was younger than I am.

At 16, people thought I was 13 or 14

At 20, people thought I was 16

At 25, people thought I was 18

At 30, people still thought I was 18

At 43, people guess my age as anything from 20 to 28

I’ve always had a slight build and not much body hair or facial hair. My brother seems to have got my share of the hairy gene. He’s like a gorilla compared to me.

(In case you’re now checking my profile photo to judge for yourself, please be aware that’s not me, as I explain in my About Me article.)

I’ve sometimes wondered whether I’ve got a hormonal problem. When I turned 40, I had a medical check-up, and I asked for my testosterone to be tested. It came back normal. In fact, it was the high end of normal. I wondered whether there was anything else going on, but my doctor seemed to think everything was fine.

I’m in good health, so what’s the problem?

I’ll tell you what the problem is. The way other people treat me when they assume I’m younger than I am.

As someone now reaching middle age who looks a lot younger, it makes me realize just how patronizing older people can be to younger people. When you’re younger, maybe you just accept it — that’s just how life is. But now I’m no longer young but still being treated as such, it comes across as rude.

When I meet new people, it leaves me with a difficult decision to make. Do I tell them about my age as soon as possible, or do I let it slide?

The problem is, whenever I tell someone new about my age, they always react really shocked. This already got tedious about 15 years ago. To me, it’s like if a very short person kept being told, “You’re really short for an adult. I mean, you’re REALLY REALLY REALLY short for an adult!” They would be like, “YES! I KNOW ALREADY! DON’T KEEP GOING ON ABOUT IT!”

But if I don’t tell them about my age, I have to deal with them behaving differently towards me. Because you would treat a 43-year-old man differently to a 23-year-old man. Yes, you would. Even you. We all would. Even I would.

I suppose the way I’ve decided to deal with this is determined by whether I’m likely to meet the other person again. If so, I just try to get the whole ordeal over with as soon as possible and then move on. If not, I let it slide.

So, please, if you come across someone who looks young for their age, try not to make a big deal about it. They already know. Don’t keep rubbing it in!

Sincerely,

Middle Aged Man Who Looks Half His Age

OPEN LETTERS

An Open Letter to People Who Say I Look Young For My Age

Yes, I already know. Please don’t rub it in!