An Odd Way To See Proof of Emotional Growth.

This might catch you by surprise.

Something I’m learning through this is that when you work on your emotional capacity and maturity when you work on healing your trauma and wounds, the highs are awesomely high, but the lows are depressingly low — I will address this further in another blog.

I wrote the paragraph above in my previous blog.

I remember when I was writing it, I was originally going to extend on this idea, but I ended up writing about all the small actions I’m taking every day that are keeping me going, despite the challenges I’m facing.

The original idea I wanted to expand on comes from the emotional growth I’m going through since making the commitment to better myself and my emotional capacity.

One of the biggest differences I feel in this season is how much I feel.

This is definitely not the first time I’ve struggled with my physical health and my mental health.

I recall fighting tougher battles, but I do not recall feeling this sad or disappointed.

Ironically, this is a good sign.

Let me explain.

I remember before I started my healing journey, I would experience fun and good things, and thoughts like ‘this should feel more exciting’ or ‘I should feel happier’ would often cross my mind.

I remember moments when I would get good news about something I was working towards, whether it was school or work (back in college). I remember thinking to myself, ‘I should feel more excited than this,’ ‘Why can’t I feel more?’

Now after three, almost four years, of counseling and inner healing work, I’ve realized it’s because you can only feel joy and excitement to the extent you can feel pain and disappointment.

I first came across this idea when I read The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

I’ve also listened to many of her podcasts and interviews, and this made me realize that I was never going to feel the joy I wanted to feel until I was willing to risk the suffering it could come with.

After years of listening to these words, I feel I have arrived at this point. My joy and excitement are greater than ever, but so is my ability to feel pain and disappointment.

It’s a bittersweet feeling.

I’m happy to see the growth. However, right now, I’m struggling, and it feels so daunting. It really sucks, to be honest.

But this too shall pass, and once I go through this valley, I’ll be back to feeling better, more energized, excited, and encouraged.

It’s only a matter of time.

So if you’re going through a difficult time, if it feels worse than anything you’ve felt in the past even though you know you’ve been through worse, maybe it’s because your emotional capacity has grown.

Even though growing through the valleys sucks, it’s also a moment of celebration because you’re getting closer and closer to the person God intended you to be.

You’re working through traumas and wounds, doing the work it takes to heal and truly move on.

You’re learning, and you’re growing.

These are the growing pains we must go through if we truly want to become the best version of ourselves and follow God’s plan for our lives.

And nothing feels more rewarding or fulfilling than knowing you’re walking in your purpose.

So keep going forward.

I suggest reading the blog I wrote — tips to help you get through a rough season. Some may seem obvious, but when we take a look at our routines, there may be room for a lot of improvement.

Thank you if you made it all the way to the end!