“America’s Got Talent: The Champions” S02.E02 Episode 2 Recap ★★☆☆☆

Marcelito Pomoy shines in an otherwise dud of an episode featuring Boogie Storm, Ryan Niemiller, Collabro, and others…

AND WE’RE BACK WITH SEASON TWO EPISODE TWO OF AMERICA’S GOT TALENT: THE CHAMPIONS. Around 40 past contestants from the AGT franchises around the world are back for a second chance at the million dollars. We got off to a great start in Episode 1 as Norweigian Angelina Jordan stunned the crowd with her “Bohemian Rhapsody.” If we get anything like that again tonight, we’ll be in good shape.

Terry actually looks quasi-normal tonight, despite the fact that he’s wearing multicolored pinstripes, so that’s something I guess. Howie is tonight’s golden buzzer. Why are we assigning the golden buzzer to one judge each night again? I don’t remember if that was ever explained.

Crews reminds us of the format, so I’ll do the same: 10 acts, 1 golden buzzer, 2 through from the America’s superfans vote, and then the judges will pick a final act from others remaining. Off we go!

Tonight’s 10 acts

Marcelito Pomoy

We get a whole lot of buildup before actually starting here. Marcelito comes out with his wife and we get a lot of his background. He won in Philippines in 2011 and he’s a singer.

And then on that first note, all the buildup makes sense. Holy cow! Marcelito has the voice of a grown woman. He’s perfectly pitched, and if you weren’t looking, you’d never put this face with the voice. But then, the real shocker — without any warning, Marcelito transitions his voice to a deep operatic sound, a man’s singing voice.

He transitions back and forth between the voices seamlessly and without pause, and with incredible range on both. My goodness. If this act weren’t the first of the night, I’d have fully expected the golden buzzer here. That he doesn’t get it can only tell me we’re already down to two non-buzzer spots left tonight.

Oz Pearlman

I’m never a big fan of mentalists, and it’s not a good sign that Oz finished third on AGT a few years ago and I don’t remember him.

Oz rambles about moments turning his life upside down, and I immediately notice the weird font on his word ‘MOMENT’ written on a white board and guess he’s going to flip this thing upside down at some point. He guesses three big moments and you’ll never believe this, but Heidi thinks of her engagement, Howie his wedding, and Alesha her band. Not exactly going out on a limb there, Ozzy.

He adds some dates, does a little backwards math with Howie’s date, flips the MOMENT upside down, and voila — there’s the serial number of the paper money he switched out with Simon awhile ago.

Yawn.

We’ve seen this stuff all before, and it was predictable and boring. But at least Oz should already know he’s going to lose. Next.

Boogie Storm

Up next is a bunch of dancers dressed in storm trooper costumes that somehow took third place in Britain because apparently Simon loves them.

They’re fine. It’s a mashup medley of songs with accompanying dance moves, but it doesn’t really flow together or have much choreography of note. It’s basically a nothing dance group outside of the costumes, but the crowd predictably eats it up, because Star Wars. Thank God it’s not Simon’s buzzer night.

Wait.

As this goes to the judges, Simon is clearly delighted by the act and suddenly decides to swoop in and give Boogie the golden buzzer. Wait, is this real? Is this valid? It appears to be valid, and I’m ticked. Ticked for Ryan Niemiller, who was tailor-made for Howie’s golden buzzer tonight, and ticked for all the other acts tonight who just got robbed.

This is a day one novelty act and nothing more. Costumes are not talent. Come on, Simon. I expect better from you.

Ben Blaque

Whew, this night is getting worse and worse.

Ben Blaque is a danger act that lost in Britain when his crossbow roulette routine went awry, so naturally he’s trying it again, and again with Alesha. And again, it all goes wrong. Ben forgets to turn the safety off — like really he does, it’s not some stunt or part of the act — and then his machine doesn’t work several times in a row.

His act was literally designing a machine to fire arrows around him while he stayed still — the talent is the machine design — and it failed miserably. The judges X Blaque off the stage and that’s the end for Ben’s AGT career and, I have to assume, his danger act. Time to pivot to the mortician field.

Collabro

Apparently it’s America’s Got Britain’s Got Talent tonight, cuz this is our third straight act from Britain. These four bros met each other and collaborated (get it? Collabro?) to win BGT 2014, and they assure us, they are not One Direction.

Uhh… no. They most definitely are not 1D. They’re something of a cross between a boy band and a barbershop quartet, and if you don’t think that sounds like a compliment, that’s because it’s not. The guys sing a slow, boring version of “Shallow” and, mercifully, it ends quickly.

Really, Britain? You let these dudes win but not Susan Boyle? Are we really halfway through tonight’s acts? Holy crap, are Storm Troopers R Us like the second best act so far??

Ryan Niemiller

I’m really excited to see Ryan Niemiller again. Ryan finished top three last summer and is one of the more memorable comedians AGT’s ever had on the show, and not just because he looks so unique. Ryan puts the hands in handsome, and he’s so confident and adds so much life to the show.

“My eyes are up here, Howie!” highlights his set, though I’m a bit disappointed all of his jokes are about his disability. The crowd chants golden buzzer — let’s hope that doesn’t become a thing — but of course Howie can’t since Simon stole it. Truthfully, Ryan is a golden buzzer act but this was not his best set. I’d give this particular set a 6 out of 10, but I definitely want to see more.

Puddles Pity Party

“Prince Poppycock!” I write in my notes before remembering this is another lonely old dude in makeup that sings. This one is Puddles Pity Party, a sad clown that sings “I Want to Know What Love Is.”

The song is a bit off tempo and definitely not Champions worthy. Puddles is a bad Sunday morning offertory in a white clown suit. The only memorable part of his act is a slideshow of the judges’ dogs wearing Puddles’s crown.

Marc Spelmann

I’m running out of hope for the night as we get to yet another British act. Marc is a magician whose schtick is wearing a V for Vendetta mask and calling himself X. His act reminds me of a lot of past AGT acts and it feels like a bad idea to invoke Shin Lim when you’re clearly much worse than him.

Of course, the big reveal at the end is that Marc has turned himself into Shim.

GENE PARMESAN??! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

The judges go wild, but I’m underwhelmed. The two clearly switched places when they turned the bulletin board around, and this mostly just makes me want to watch Shin Lim again. This was fine, but I’m not sure this is even a top 10 or 20 magic act we’ve seen on AGT.

Luke Islam

Ugh, Luke Islam is back. I guess he has plenty of time to perform now that Modern Family is done filming.

Luke sings, and I find him as boring as always. He’s like opera but in English. My television mercifully cuts to commercial twice away from the judges, and it’s a commercial for a local Broadway version of Paw Patrol, which is somehow absolutely perfect.

Spencer Horsman

This is our last act of the night, and good riddance. Spencer is an escape artist who nearly died on Kriss Angel’s show, and he had to shave his head and wear a bandage to get over a possible concussion he suffered in practice.

Everyone gets dragged outside for the final act, which I suspect was actually the first, and Spencer has two minutes to escape a suspended water cube before falling to his “death.” Spencer escapes a little too quickly so he has to splash around a little bit and kill time so that he gets out at the last second.

I’m not sure this conveys on TV as well as in person, especially when the show isn’t live and I’m pretty confident you’re not about to show me a dude dying on tape delay.

Well, this has been America’s Got Some Acts that Claim to Be Talented. Let’s get to the rankings…

My personal rankings

The only top talent tonight

1. Marcelito Pomoy

A personal favorite, even if it wasn’t his night

2. Ryan Niemiller

Talented I guess, maybe better on a different night

3. Marc Spelmann 4. Spencer Horsman 5. Collabro 6. Luke Islam

The novelty acts

7. Boogie Storm 8. Puddles Pity Party 9. Oz Pearlman

Disqualified but alive

10. Ben Blaque

Really rough night overall for AGT. Marcelito was fantastic as the opening act, but then it was one long fart sound after that. This is what I feared from Season 2. Will there be enough talent for a second Champions edition?

Ryan is the only one of the 10 acts I really care about going forward, but Marcelito is the one talent that definitely deserves to go through.

I don’t think Ryan will be a top-2 act, so will the judges pick him? *gulp*

Time for the results…

Alright, let’s get this over with.

Terry reminds us that Boogie Storm got tonight’s golden buzzer. I guess that isn’t so bad now that we know how disappointing the rest of the night was. Maybe the acts were out of order and Simon just needed to steal that buzzer out of embarrassment for everyone else.

Terry calls forward our first three acts, and Marcelito is the first name out of the gate. Considering he was the only real talent of the night, I don’t like Puddles or Collabro’s chances. Sure enough, it’s Collabye for the boys.

Up next are Ben Blaque, Marc Spelmann, and Oz Pearlman. Again, not much drama here, though it would fit tonight well if the superfans somehow picked Ben. It’s Marc instead, and poof! another magician into the next round.

I figured Ryan Niemiller would end up in front of the judges, and here he is, joined by Spencer Horsman and Luke Islam. Oh no, it’s gonna be Luke.

I do some quick math. Simon feels like a Luke vote. Howie will go with Ryan. I don’t have a good handle on Alesha yet, but she feels like a possible Spencer vote, which means it’s down to Heidi to choose, and she hates comedy.

The votes are in…

Simon goes first. He votes Ryan! Alesha hems and haws before picking Ryan too, and Heidi makes it official with a third Ryan vote. Give this man a hand, he’s on to the next round!

Well, that could have gone much worse. The voting has been much better this season, and my top three are through for a second straight episode.

Let’s just hope there’s a little more competition next week… ■

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