“America’s Got Talent: The Champions” S02.E01 Episode 1 Recap ★★★☆☆

AGT: Champions is back with a whole new (old) set of talent. Did anyone stand out on Night 1?

On America’s Got Talent: The Champions Season 2 Episode 1, the stars are back, and it’s time for a winter talent influx. Champions premiered last winter to much fanfare and got pretty good ratings, so we’re back for a second go-around of AGT Champions-or-Not-But-Hey-This-Act-Was-Cool-Too-Remember-Them?.

Terry Crews is our host again, and you know what they always say — anyone but Tyra Banks. Terry is up to his usual shenanigans. Where does this dude get his wardrobe? How can black clothing be so shiny?

Crews briefly introduces new judge Alesha Dixon without much fanfare. Alesha is a longtime judge on Britain’s Got Talent, so she should have rapport with Simon. She got her fame as part of R&B rap group Mis-Teeq. Heidi Klum gets tonight’s golden buzzer though, not Alesha. Weird.

Terry reminds us of the format, so I will too. This entire thing is pre-taped, so there will be no live voting. There are 10 acts tonight. One will get Heidi’s golden buzzer, and only three other acts will go through. Two will be chosen by a mysterious panel of superfans chosen from America’s 50 states, while the final winner will be chosen by the judges. That’s flipped from last season, and it’s a nice change. Anything to mute the weird definitely-not-just-fixed superfans thing and put the judges on the spot in the episode’s dying breaths.

I’m assuming we’re getting all new acts this year from last year’s Champions, but it felt like last season was pretty loaded. Will there be enough talent left for a second season? It’s time to find out.

Tonight’s 10 acts

Paddy and Nicko

Starting out our new Champions season are Howie and his mom. Wait, that’s just some other bald guy and an old woman he finds napping in a chair in the audience. Paddy is an 85-year-old dancer, and she’s accompanied by her 45-year-old instructor, Nicko.

The two got their start on Britain’s Got Talent in 2014, so apparently one of Paddy’s talents is staying in good enough shape six years later. Remember, AGT Champions returns contestants both from past AGT seasons as well as other Fill-in-the-Blank-Country’s Got Talent seasons.

The dancing is… fine. Nicko does most of the work, but she’s spinning and flying all over the place and she’s old, so the crowd goes predictably nuts. Lots of shocked cutaways from Terry. Off we go!

Mike Yung

Mike is up next, the Subway Dude. No, not the skinny white dude you gotta keep away from your kids.

Mike Yung used to sing in the subway, and that makes him memorable. We get an emotional update on his already moving personal story. It’s a somewhat forgettable performance beyond that.

Junior Creative Dance

Apparently there’s a Myanmar’s Got Talent, and these kids won it in 2018. Myanmar is a small southeast Asian country between India, China, and Thailand. Formerly Burma, Myanmar is the site of the world’s longest ongoing civil war ever since breaking away from Great Britain in 1948.

This is a silhouette dance crew, and it’s especially powerful that they won Myamar because youth voices simply are not heard that, and that’s exactly the message here. At least I think, because the performance isn’t totally clear. There are military scenes, a 10-year flash forward, and a heartbreaking message of innocent children victims of war.

The choreography is… mostly fine. It doesn’t quite measure up to some of the other silhouette dances we’ve seen, if I’m being honest. There are a few extra props and headers rather than everything being silhouetted out by human shapes. That’s ok. Pretty cool either way.

Hans

Ugh, this guy again.

Hans is a singer-dancer-accordionist-weirdo from AGT season 13. His talent is being flamingly pink and obnoxious. Sure enough, Hans comes out atop a giant banana because, of course. He does something resembling tap dance and there are lots of pink streamers.

Simon speaks for all of us when he buzzes with a loud X, but the crowd is predictably eating it up. Hans is a perfect round one appetizer. You know Howie and Heidi are gonna eat out of his hand. Hopefully Alesha is a good judge.

Jack Vidgen

Up next is 2011 Australia winner, Jack Vidgen, who is a reminder that it’s always dangerous picking child winners in singing contests. You guys won’t believe this, but this dude’s voice changed between the ages of 14 and 22! Crazy, right?

Jack was performing a show when his voice cracked trying to hit a big note and he walked away from singing. Now, courageously, he’s back. Australia’s version of Bianca Ryan I guess.

Jack sings a song, which is a thing that singers do. I do not remember much more than that. He is fine. America’s got singers!

Halfway home, and I’m not sure I need to see any of these acts again. Step it up, AGT Champions!!

Duo Transcend

Finally, an act I’m actually excited to see back. I’m not much for the danger acts usually, but this trapeze pair is absolutely mesmerizing. They’re dangerous for a purpose. Only, they have a kid now so, like… shouldn’t their purpose have changed a bit? I’m not sure I’m as comfortable enjoying this act with a little kid watching mommy drop from the audience.

Alas, if they’re going to risk their lives for me, guess I may as well enjoy it. Manscend got his eyesight fixed since last time, so naturally he gets blindfolded for most of the act, and there are several double blindfold drops where Manscend catches Womanscend at the last second. It’s breathtaking as always. You might even call them… Transcendent. Get it?

I’m not sure an act like this will ever win, but I’d sure pay plenty to watch them do a Vegas show.

Dan Naturman

I usually love comedians on AGT, so it’s not a great sign that they brought back a guy I don’t recall ever seeing before. There’s usually not much in between on comedians. Either they bring the house down, or it’s just awkward and quiet.

…

It’s awkward and quiet.

Nature-man is mostly crickets with a few chuckles sprinkled in. His best line came after the act in a comeback zinger against Simon. A fond farewell.

Angelina Jordan

Finally, the act we’ve been waiting for.

Angelina won Norway in 2014 at age seven. She’s 13 now but looks older than that and has the voice of someone twice her age. Angelina says she always wanted to sing for Simon, and I’m guessing she’s going to be doing a lot of that going forward.

Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me… to me…

Angelina starts “Bohemian Rhapsody” a cappella with that line and takes my breath away, and I immediately know we’ve come to tonight’s golden buzzer. Angelina looks the part of Queen with her outfit, and she has a great arrangement here. Her “Bohemian Rhapsody” is chilling and creepy and beautiful. Maybe it’s just the Queen, but she reminds me a bit of the first time I saw Adam Lambert on American Idol. Her voice is deep and layered, like a young Alanis Morisette.

Okay, enough superlatives. Can’t tell if I’ve gone too far or not far enough. The judges agree, and Heidi slams the golden buzzer. Angelina was worth the wait.

Eddie Williams

Really, AGT?

Eddie gets huge fanfare as he rumbles out like a WWE wrestler. He’s a weightlifter! Jk, he’s not, he’s a singer. America’s got singers!

Eddie has the voice of, well, not an angel. Just not really the voice of a weightlifter, so that’s pretty much the act. He’s fine.

He lifts a couple 260-pound stones into place before sitting on them for his song. It doesn’t feel like 260 pounds is that much? A quick Google search tells me the world record is a 552-pound stone lift, more than double that.

Basically Eddie is half of a weightlifter and half of a singer. Huzzah.

Dania Diaz

Our final act of the night is a magician from Venezuela. She literally had to leave her country to perform magic at Spain’s Got Talent because Venezuela is a horrible nation with an endless list of human rights violations. Couple really rough countries represented here tonight.

Dania tells Terry she’s doing the magic trick of her life, and it turns out she literally is. Dania pulls a deck of cards out of thin air and tells us her life story. With each new part of her story, there is a corresponding card. The queen is her mom and the king is her dad, only the king left the home early and the queen passed away. Every new card is another story: the height of Angel Falls, her age, her 24–7–365 life. All the while, Dania is shuffling the cards along, telling us her story. I didn’t know magic could make you cry.

This is the sort of magic only a woman can do, mesmerizing with both her heart string pulls and her card tricks all at once. Dania’s heartbreaking life story is her magic trick. It’s perfect, and a perfect way to end our night.

My personal (obviously correct) rankings

The worthy golden buzzer

1. Angelina Jordan

Should definitely go through

2. Dania Diaz 3. Duo Transcend

Sure, I guess

4. Junior Creative Dance 5. Mike Yung 6. Jack Vidgen

The novelty acts

7. Dan Naturman 8. Paddy and Nicko 9. Eddie Williams 10. Hans

Pretty straight forward rankings tonight. I see only three acts that definitely should go on, and only Angelina has a real shot of winning it all. As long as we keep her, Duo Transcend, and Dania Diaz, I’ll be satisfied. I know better than to wish for four out of four.

The results are in…

Remember, this is not like the live summer shows with online voting and what not. This stuff was all pre-taped months ago, and allllll the America superfans from all 50 states have long since voted. We’ve got results, and we’re getting them right now, right away.

Terry reminds us how this all works. Only four of the 10 acts will go through, one of which was the golden buzzer. The American superfans will use their voodoo magic to rank the rest. First and second advance too, and then third, fourth, and fifth will stand in front of the judges for one final spot.

Got it?

Up first, Terry calls forward Dan Naturman, Paddy and Nicko, and Duo Transcend. This one seems pretty straightforward, and it is. The trapeze pair are on to the next round.

Next it’s Dania Diaz, Eddie Williams, and Mike Yung. Uh oh. I wouldn’t be against Mike advancing, but not if it’s at Dania’s expense. To be honest, I forgot Mike was even in this contest. But… whew, it’s Dania.

Hey, look at that! They actually got the three best acts through. Maybe they’ll get it all right this year… or maybe we just used up our one time. Alas.

So that leaves one spot left for Junior Creative Dance, Jack Vidgen, or Hans. Oh no. Heidi likes sparkles and Howie likes stupidity. This could end badly.

Anyone but Hans, please.

Heidi votes Hans. Ugh. Alesha picks Junior Creative! Come on Simon, do the right thing.

Simon votes Jack.

That means it’s Howie’s choice, and it’s not like there’s any suspense left at that point.

Hans moves on to the next round.

Sigh. Guess you can’t win ‘em all. See you next week. ■

Follow Brandon on Medium or @wheatonbrando for more sports, television, humor, and culture. Visit the rest of Brandon’s writing archives here.