All the ‘Top Gun’ Movies Ranked from Worst to Mind-Blowing
“But there are only TWO Top Gun movies. How are you going to rank them?”
You’re right, of course. But as any movie aficionado will tell you, each time you enter the cinema counts as one, no matter if you’ve already seen the film or not.
Each viewing is different.
6. The one I didn’t see
The original Top Gun, released in 1986, was rated PG. That wasn’t enough for my parents to take their three-year-old with them. While they made the right choice, I’m still disgruntled and jealous. I wish I could have seen it on the big screen for the first time.
5. The one when she dumped me
1999 was the best and the worst year ever. I started dating Gracelyn in August after watching Matrix together.
Our love was reckless, forever, and ended during Thanksgiving weekend. The local theater blessed us with a re-run of Top Gun for a reason lost in history.
She knew I loved the movie and used it against me.
Gracelyn broke up with me in front of the theater, paraphrasing Iceman.
“You’re not everyone’s problem, you’re my problem. That’s because every time we see each other, we fight. I don’t love you anymore because we’re toxic together.”
It hurt, but it’s my favorite break-up line to date and will likely stay that way. Hopefully. If you’re reading this, “I love flying with you, honey!”
4. The first time I saw it
This would have ranked first place if I had seen it on a real screen. But I saw it on an old and small TV set. So, while the movie was pure joy, this wasn’t my favorite Top Gun.
3. The re-watch
Before going out for Maverick, my wife and I re-watched Top Gun, at home, with some of the kids. We try to have a movie night every Saturday with homemade broccoli and chicken pizza. It’s a tradition.
My wife and I had a lot of fun.
She opened the night with a modernized quote from Maverick, “I feel the need, the need for broccoli.” It doesn’t rhyme, but she was cute when she said it. The kids laughed even without the movie reference.
And she ended it imitating Meg Ryan / Carole and her famous, “take me to bed or leave me on the couch, I’m dead-tired.”
2. Top Gun: Maverick
With 36 additional years and the same number of points for nostalgia, Maverick almost won the competition. But three things were missing for me to give the trophy to the sequel:
- Rubber dog shit
- The tension of the competition between Iceman and Maverick
- Goose
“It’s time for the big one.”
1. The first time on the big screen
Back in 1999, I knew things weren’t going well with Gracelyn. That’s why I went to see Top Gun on my own the day before our date. I wanted my first big-screen viewing of Top Gun would be flawless.
It worked.
I spent one hundred and ten minutes up there. I rode my bike home, but in my mind, it was a fighter jet.
It’s one of my favorite memories and, without a doubt, my favorite Top Gun.
Want more of Top Gun? Fly away with Eric Pierce and Simon Dillon.
