A Glimpse at the Life of the King of Insults
His grandchildren knew him as “Mr. Potato Head.”
Known for his insult comedy, he was one of a kind. He was often referred to as America’s King of Insult, the King of Zing, the Insult King from Queens, The Sultan of Insult, and Mr. Warmth. No one was exempt from his comedic insults, including presidents, movie stars, or any other famous people.
After serving in World War II, he graduated from the prestigious American Academy of Dramatic Arts. His classmates included Grace Kelly, Anne Bancroft, and Jason Robarts. A little-known fact about him as a performer — he was the only comedian in history to be backed by a 14-piece band.
Born in Queens New York in 1926 as Donald Jay Rickles, he lived a long life dying at the age of 90 in 2017. Known simply as Don Rickles, he was active for more than 60 years as several generations enjoyed his caustic comedy. Rickles was not only a stand-up comic, but also a writer, appeared in many movies, and was on a television show of some sort nearly every year from 1955 until 2017!
You will notice that many of the following quotes are funny, yet some are not. Included are both types of quotes to give you a glimpse into the life of this complex man. To get the full effect of his comedy I suggest watching some of his old TV and film work.
It’s difficult to capture Rickles’ humor in an article such as this. To get the full effect of his comedy you must see him in action. He was a master in the artful way he delivered his lines, in his voice inflection and tone, his facial expressions, and so much more. Take time to do some surfing on YouTube to watch him in action.
Enjoy!
Being a Comic
“An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.”
“They always use the word ‘insult’ with me, but I don’t hurt anybody. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.”
“If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn’t be funny, there is a difference between an actual insult and just having fun.”
“An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title — and I use it to this day — was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.”
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“Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.”
“You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. It’s a personality. My humor is an attitude.”
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“I’m not a big one for jokes. I can’t tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, ‘Don, get up at a party and tell a joke’, I’m the worst.”
“Why should I retire? I’m like a fighter. The bell rings and you come out and fight.”
“You throw your best punch — otherwise, don’t do it.”
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“I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don’t know why. Maybe they’re afraid of what I might say. There’s probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don’t know what it is.”
“To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.”
“Compared to what some of the young comics use for material today, I’m a priest.”
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“I don’t really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that’s how it becomes funny.”
“The young comedians always ask me, ‘What’s the secret for staying around?’ I tell them, ‘There is no secret — just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.’”
“It takes many years to be a great comedian.”
Performing
“After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broadway, so I just started talking to audiences at different social gatherings, and little by little I became Don Rickles — whatever that is.”
“When you do comedy, you can’t please the world, although I’d like to think that most of my audiences were on my side.”
“You’ve got to be able to sell yourself.”
“When you first start out with something new, you’re always a little uptight.”.
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“Every night when I go out on stage, there’s always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I’m always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I’m not going to offend!”
“To me, the stand-up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I’m really thrilled.”
“I’d like to think my performance is today. I never try to — it’s so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.”
“Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.”
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“When I first went to Vegas, there were just high-rollers and gamblers and the wise guys treated you great.”
“The thing I love about Vegas is that it’s a melting pot. It’s like working Ellis Island.”
“Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.”
“In the 45 years I’ve worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don’t even have a hunting license.”
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“I’ve never had a writer, and I’m proud of that. Everything I’ve performed has been from my own head.”
“My whole act is off the top of my head.”
“But it’s different every night. I have a lot of jokes in my back pocket I’ve said over the years.”
“Everything I’ve ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I’ve never written anything down on paper.”
“When you do see me, you’ll get the idea from when you see me that it’s all off the top of my head. A lot of it is a beginning, middle and the end.”
“I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.”
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“I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.”
“In our day we went from — we went into saloons. We couldn’t cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you’re a major movie star, you know.”
“Ninety percent of the people who come to see me are my fans.”
“Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.”
Famous People
“When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don’t mind, but he has it in his back pocket.” — about Frank Sinatra
“Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I’ve only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan.”
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“Clint’s idea of a good time is sitting on a pickup truck watching his dog bark.” — about Clint Eastwood
“Clint, I’m sorry, but I just gotta say what’s on everybody’s mind here tonight: You’re a terrible actor.” — about Clint Eastwood
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“You are a politician. Black, white, Jew, gentile, we’re all working for one cause: to figure out how you became governor.” — about Ronald Reagan
“Who picks your clothes — Stevie Wonder?”
“Marty … somebody get a phone book so you can see me.” — about Martin Sorcese
“Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.”
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“Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they’re just regular people. Like Larry King. We’ve been friends for forty years. He’s one of the few guys I know who’s really famous. One minute he’s talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he’s saying to me, ‘Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?’”
“Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.”
“Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore.”
“Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, ‘Hi Bob’ and I’d have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn’t let me ad-lib.”
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“Johnny Carson was a big influence on me — all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.”
“The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.”
Ethnic
“I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I’d have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.”
“Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.”
“No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.”
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“Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I’m not a black.”
“I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh.”
“Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.”
Humor
“I’ve got an accountant who’s been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.”
“Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.”
“Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.”
“Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.”
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“I want to be a dog, but I’m a pussycat.”
“I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He’d just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.”
“I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I’d always stink. And that’s when I really started to enjoy the game.”
“Struggling is hard because you never know what’s at the end of the tunnel.”
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“I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I’d better write a book.”
“I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.”
“When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can’t please everyone. But when you’re different, you can last.”
“I’m very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.”
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“I couldn’t sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.”
“When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, ‘Hey, you hockey puck!’”
“The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it’s not working. I did a study on this, you know.”
“Once in a while, when I’m alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can’t really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don’t think I’ll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it’ll never come to me. It’s crazy, but there it is.”
“I was always the guy — out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.”
“ I’ve been hot, I’ve been lukewarm, I’ve been freezing, but I’ve always been a headliner.”
“I have no idea what I’m going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.”
“I always say, when you’re onstage you can’t please everybody. I’m sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that’s okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.”
Personal Life
“I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That’s the last time I cried.”
“Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they’d laugh at it.”
“When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.”
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“My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head.”
“I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.”
“My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I’ve never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas.”
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“I didn’t get married until I was 38.”
“My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.”
“My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances.”
“If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine’s Day.”
Some of Rickles’ best work was on the many “roasts” he participated in. Whenever you are in the mood for a good laugh, you will find many of them on YouTube.
A final word from Mr. Warmth. He didn’t marry until he was 38 years old and celebrated his 52nd anniversary a few days before passing. His final tweet was:
RIP Mr. Warmth. You are missed.
Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION.
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