RELATIONSHIP|FRIENDSHIP

A Friendship Of A Lifetime, An International Connection

Tribute to my friend from Canada

Introduction with Jose Lam

A short, fat, but smiling and pleasant man barges into my office.

Hello, he says, “ I am Jose, Jose Lam”.

Hello, I said, “I am Preeti, welcome to the institute”.

“I am going to be your neighbour sitting in the office next to yours. I am on a sabbatical from New Found Land in Canada. I teach at Memorial University. I will be taking some classes on entrepreneurship and doing some research”

Beginning To Know Jose Lam

This was our first meeting. I thought to myself, another neighbour? Two people had already left that office since I had joined and I had got along with them extremely well. What was this person going to be like?

A different culture and a different person.

I helped him settle down and explained everything I could about the institute and he was comfortable in his space and we both got busy.

One evening at 4 PM we met and we had coffee together. This was the beginning of our friendship.

As long as he was in Jagannath International Management School (JIMS). We had this 10-minute coffee break together.

Jose was very humble. I was extremely busy at work with a high-profile designation and lots of responsibilities and tasks. I also took many classes as there were few professors teaching finance.

At lunchtime, I would call him to my office, and very often he would taste some homemade curry or vegetable but most always fruits that I brought for the two of us.

He was so humble that when I would come from class he would be standing with a tray in my office with two coffees and some goodies which he used to bring from his temporary residence in Delhi.

He used to live in the Kailash colony where there were many good shops with lots of good quality products. He would sometimes bring tea cakes, biscuits, or even Indian sweets which he liked a lot.

It was working well and then I was asked by my director-general to do a research project on small business in India with him which was the institute’s requirement.

We researched and interviewed many entrepreneurs mainly in Delhi.

Home Visit And Meeting With Family

Rakhi is a big festival in India and it was round the corner. I invited Jose to come home and witness what we do.

It is the bond between the brother and sister. The sister ties a thread of love to her brother for friendship and love between them.

Jose was a little shy but eventually, he did come armed with two boxes of sweets for both me and my brother and many other goodies for me from Canada and India.

He met my husband for the first time. He also met my son, daughter-in-law, and my two grandkids who had come from Gurgaon to visit us. My brother and sister-in-law also met him.

Everybody was delighted to meet him. This was his first visit home. After that every weekend he would be in our house or we would go out with him for lunch and shopping and spend a lot of time together.

He was so generous he bought lots of gifts for his friends, colleagues, and family. He then got them sent by courier as he would not be able to carry them with him.

Jose wanted to see India and would take off for a few days, travel to some places, and come back.

He traveled to Kasauli a small hilly town in Himachal Pradesh, with us and we had a fantastic time together.

Canadian Friends From Newfoundland And End Of Tenure in India

JIMS had an international conference in which he participated along with other colleagues from Memorial University.

His friends also visited us and became very good friends with us. My husband went along with them to get hand-stitched suits made in India and also for lunches and dinners at restaurants and at home.

Having completed his tenure, Jose left for Canada. Everyone at the institute had become very fond of him and we had a special goodbye party for him.

He was gentle, polite and generous with everyone in the office. He left a beautiful thank you note with a big packet of chocolates for everyone.

Our friendship did not end here.

Invitation To Memorial University As Keynote Speaker At A Conference

The director-general called me to his office and said that the institute had received an official letter from Memorial University for a request that I may be sent as a keynote speaker to the Women Entrepreneurs international conference that would be held at the end of March 2018, and all expenses would be borne by the university.

Jose was an excellent host and looked after me so well. He introduced me to all his colleagues. Everybody loved him and was wearing Indian shawls and stoles presented by him.

The picture above was take in the office of Jose Lam at Memorial University in Newfoundland with another colleague of his. I am standing in the middle.

Newfoundland was beautiful. It was very cold. There was ice everywhere and it was minus 30 degrees centigrade but his affection and care kept me warm and happy.

I met his friends and his sister in his house and he warmly invited me to visit again with my husband, family, or friends and next time to stay in his house.

In this visit, I was the Memorial University’s special guest and I was staying in a comfortable but the best hotel over there.

The Friendship Continued

Our friendship continued. He had never used Whatsapp until I taught him to use it. Now he had become comfortable and would talk to us quite often and then we submitted one joint research paper for a conference in Vancouver.

After some time there was no email or phone call for a month from him.

Then I received an email and a call where he explained that his absence was because he fell sick and had been hospitalized but now he was better.

Jose was diagnosed with pancreatitis.

Jose soon recovered and kept in touch.

Suddenly, one fine day a friend of his who had visited us in India and met me in Newfoundland called and conveyed a message to me that Jose had died. He had fallen sick again and collapsed but he had especially remembered me and wanted me to know that he was sick. However, he died in2019.

I was shocked beyond belief and for the first time in my life, I wrote a poem as a tribute to him. This poem was read out at the university and I received messages from them. After this, I have been learning and writing so many forms of poems

I still miss Jose Lam. He will remain in my heart as a generous, loving, international friend who went out of his way to make friends in India.

I thank him for the wonderful gifts of extending love, affection, being gentle and humble and warmth in his dealings with everyone.

I did not know him, nor was he related to me. He was a gem. I learned a lot from him and he always said that he learned a lot from us in India.

Thank you Trista Signe Ainsworth for giving me this opportunity to thank Jose Lam by giving him a fitting tribute trying to highlight his gentle, friendly spirit and love for people from different countries.