A Divorce Agreement Is Only as Good

As the money, you have to defend it

“My husband is responsible for the tax bill,” I say.

“No,” says the voice on the phone. “You both are.”

“No, in our divorce agreement he got responsibility for it,” I say.

“That agreement is between you and your husband,” the voice responds.

I’m left speechless.

Small wonder if you know me. But true. I believe my ex is responsible for the tax game he played during our divorce. It’s why he had to assume the burden of payment.

In one sense this is true, in another, it is not. If my ex-husband fails to pay the bill I must take legal steps to enforce the agreement.

This takes money.

It’s money I don’t have.

I remember a professional I consulted during my divorce believing my monthly payment was secure. They pointed out it was in writing. Better yet, a legally binding document.

“Really,” I remember saying. “Have you met my husband? He would be the one who forged my signature, took out credit cards and loans in my name, hid all of our assets, ruined my credit, and reduced our business income so the monthly payment would be nearly 75% lower,” I say.

“You think that guy is going to abide by an agreement? Let alone the law?”

“He has to,” says the professional. “If not, you can take him to court.”

Seriously?

“With what money?” I say.

I knew my hands were tied.

My ex-husband made sure of it. There’s a reason he left me with zero assets and destroyed my credit. It served a dual purpose. He got everything and ensured I had no ability to pursue him later.

The tax bill was another story.

I truly believed this did not need to be enforced. I foolishly thought the signed divorce agreement left me without responsibility for that bill. Again, it did and it didn’t. Yes, my husband would have to pay it if I legally forced him to.

Fortunately, I don’t believe my ex-husband knew this and he paid for it.

Without me having to pursue him legally.

Periodically, someone will indignantly say my ex must follow the law.

“He can’t stop paying you,” they will say. “He’ll get in trouble.”

But laws are in place for law-abiding citizens. They are not for individuals who are morally and ruthlessly bankrupt (sorry I love a good pun and he deserves it) and willing to cheat the system as well as their families.

This is a game for controlling, obsessive, and manipulative personalities.

Laws are child’s play for the manipulative players of family court.

It’s a challenge.

They want to win.

It’s taken me a long time to rebuild my life. In large part because I know my ex-husband lurks in the shadows. He’s waiting. He’s told me as much. To make his next move.

“You can’t do that,” I say. “You have to pay me it’s in the divorce agreement.”

“No,” he says. “This is what you do. You just go before the judge and say, ‘Your Honor, I’m a broke man. I’m retiring. I don’t have any money.”

He utters these words as if he’s speaking to a buddy. Not the ex-wife, best friend, college sweetheart, and mother of his children that he screwed out of every dime possible.

The woman he attempted to destroy not divorce.

The one he robbed of any financial security and peace of mind.

The naysayers don’t believe this can happen. I know better. The tales of deadbeat men that came before him and other women who bore the brunt of the divorce games permitted in family law.

No fouls were called.

No angry fans in the stands screaming for justice.

Divorce agreements are only as good as the money you have to enforce them. The manipulative and lying tournaments only add to the inability to uphold them.

An extremely successful man will stand before a judge and claim poverty.

I likely won’t be viewed as the strong woman I am. The business partner, investment property owner, and mother of his children. I will be seen as a woman who transitioned into a stay-at-home mother.

It will feed into an inappropriate narrative.

That my worth is determined by income.

When I was the honest, law-abiding individual who followed the rules and did the right thing, and signed an agreement in earnest. While the other ink came from an illegal cheater who valued himself over law and family.

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