Denny’s New Down & Dirty Menu
A Couple of Fat Lines of Love
I’ll have a chemical Amore cocktail — better make that two
Being madly in love is one step beyond euphoria breaching the walls of insanity. When you’re in love — even something as vulgar as going to the bathroom can be an unusual pleasure. Your aroma, as you leave yesterday’s burgers behind, may actually be somewhat pleasing.
People may ask you when walking into the bathroom you just used, “Hey, are you in love? Sure smells like it!”
Love truly is a many-splendor thing, unfortunately, love can also go bad — really bad!
Often, the act of being in love can sour like milk, get moldy like cheese, or you just get sick of eating the same thing day after day — night after night! I just want something different, and no more frigging redheads! —
“What? No, sweetie! I’m not talking about you. I’m simply making this stuff up for fun.
Oh, so you still prefer I use redheads and not blondes in my story? — Okie-Dokie — Say no more — your wish is my command — my little pumpkin-butt.”
My wife and I have been married for three and a half decades. In this phase of the marriage, trying to keep the intimacy fresh can be a challenge — especially without props and a couple of fat lines of love.
The fat lines I am referring to are not lines of Cocaine — the old ticker couldn’t take the sex and the Coke at the same time.
No, the lines I am referring to are tender words of love. These lines are the intimate phrases that can spark the embers of passion still residing deep within.
Years ago our sex raged with fire and energy. Now, our soft and tender words create a simple flame to ignite our passion.
Then, a few minutes of heavy breathing from me trying to get my clothes off before Elvis leaves the building — if you know what I mean?
Finally, once I am ready, my sweetie and I serve ourselves up a portion of sex from the senior citizen’s menu — just like at Denny’s.
If Denny’s had a Down-and-Dirty menu their senior portion of lovemaking would be a little smaller — extremely satisfying but without the chocolate shake.
Here are a few of my favorite lines of love that I enjoy sharing while in the throws of passion with my partner.
- “I love you with all the unblocked arteries in my heart.”
- “You are still as lovely as the day we met — now turn around!”
- “I don’t know what you have been doing down there but you taste just like peaches.”—
Then I quietly mumble to myself, “Smothered in Anchovies.”
Honestly, I love making love and I hope I will be able to do it for many more years to come. I just have to keep creating new fat lines of love so I don’t get predictable.
If you have one or two sultry lines of love you would like to share, we here at Doctor Funny would love to use them — I mean hear them.
Growing old together with your spouse is tricky. It takes patience, love, and understanding. However, if you want the flames of passion to remain in your marriage you must learn to be highly creative to keep your pilot light of love lit.
Excuse me, Miss! — Do you think you could do me a quick favor on your way out and hand me the blue vibrator over there — the one with the kick-start?
I always like using Big Jake for these extra special nights. You see, I got my honey all liquored up, horny, and ready for some hot-loving — it’s our anniversary.
I’m just so happy I can make our 35th celebration of tying the knot a night to remember.
Cheers! — Vrmmmmmmmmmm!
Peace, Love, and Unconditional Happiness!
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