Avoid These 3 Types of People If You Want a Serious Relationship
The one who only calls you late at night is not ‘The One.’
My ex-boyfriend called me a slut for having too many male contacts in my phone.
He was my first serious boyfriend, and I remember thinking, “Is this normal? how am I supposed to respond? Are you not allowed to have any contact with other males while in a relationship?” We broke up a few months later.
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over three years now, and he’s the epitome of “The Nice Guy.”
He’s the kind of guy who will prioritize you above all else. He’ll go out of his way to get me a pint of Ben & Jerrys at 2 am. He’ll let me have full control of the remote.
He’s the kind of guy you say no to when you’re young because you’re dumb and think “bad boys” are more fun, only to realize you should have been screaming yes the first chance you got.
I got really lucky with my guy. I’m grateful for our love story, but I know there are a lot of women out there who are dating people that are completely wrong for them, which is why I wanted to talk about a couple of specific individuals that I’ve personally dated that I wish I hadn’t.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, steer clear of these three types.
The One Who Only Calls You Late At Night
I was in a tech program in Seattle a few years ago. A week in, I met him.
He had an interesting name, green eyes, freckles, and was from Fiji, which obviously made him exotic in my eyes.
He was wearing a navy blue suit and had a big smile plastered on his face as he sucked up to the program manager. I knew right then and there that he was trouble.
He reeked of charisma. He was care-fucking-free. He lived in a studio overlooking the city, showed up late for class, and always spiked his morning coffee.
I was enamored.
A few months into talking, he convinced me to give him a ride home. A ride home turned into a make-out session, and that turned into a situationship.
The angel on my right shoulder told me to put a stop to it.
“Nothing good will come out of this. He’s emotionally unavailable. He only calls you late at night or asks you for rides home from parties. Have you noticed he never actually invites you to the parties? He has no future!
He spikes his coffee! At! 7! AM!”
The devil on my left shoulder told me to live a little.
“Don’t you want a little wild passion in your life? What’s the worst that will happen?”
Regrettably, I didn’t listen to the angel, and this situationship cost me a lot of time, mental and emotional energy, and it resulted in heartbreak.
He was that kind of guy you read about in books, the one who says things like, “I want to kiss you under the stars,” and you’re blinded because he’s damaged and you think you can fix him but you can’t because guys like him only cause more damage.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, avoid the guy who spikes his morning coffee, only calls you late at night, and gets through life purely by his charm.
The One Who’s Always Jealous
Insecurities are not attractive.
Sure, it’s cute when the guy you’re with acts a little jealous when he sees someone else checking you out.
However, there’s a huge difference between your partner acting a little jealous and your partner raging out on you for texting your male co-worker back.
And I’m not the only one. My best friend was in a relationship recently with a guy we all liked; he seemed like a fantastic fit for her — until they broke up, and she told me the real story.
He not only asked her to delete every guy from her contact list, but he asked her to tell him about every guy she’d ever slept with in detail. When he found out one of those guys was a close friend of ours, he told her to stop hanging out with all of us immediately.
These types of individuals are incapable of trusting you, will make you account for everything, and will only wreak havoc on your life and mental state. They need to be in control all the time and are very punishing when things don’t go their way.
Best to steer clear of them. It’s not worth it. Your entire life will end up revolving around them and their needs.
The One Who Doesn’t Respect His Mother
I once dated a guy who called his mother a bitch in front of me.
When we broke up, later on, you want to know what he called me? A bitch.
One of the best indicators of how a man will treat you is how he treats his mother or sisters.
I’ve been in a relationship where my ex dismissed his mom, looked down on her, talked poorly about her, and completely ignored her at times.
And I ended up on the receiving end of that as well. If a man doesn’t respect his own mother, the person who gave him life, food, shelter, and love, how do you expect him to respect you?
A man who doesn’t respect his mother is to be avoided at all costs. Obviously, there are exceptions if they’re coming from an abusive or toxic situation, but even then, you should never talk down on the people who gave you life.
As women, we tend to fall for the broken guys — the ones who are “a work in progress.”
We want to be their saviors; we want others to look at our relationship and think, “Wow, she really changed him!”
Unfortunately, that’s not at all how it works. Most of the time, you don’t really change anyone. If anything, they change you, and their bad qualities end up rubbing off on you.
If you’re looking for something serious, go for the guy who has his life together and is ready for the real deal. Leave the “works in progress” guys to fix themselves.
