7 Habits That Are Keeping You Single

Ranked in order of severity

Finding and maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship can be a rewarding journey, but it can also be a challenging one when partners, perhaps inadvertently, engage in habits or behaviors that end up sabotaging their chances of finding love or keeping it alive.

Here we will consider seven of such habits that might be what are keep you single in order of the severity of the potential damage they can cause to relationships.

I am very much aware that the ranking of these relationship-damaging habits can be subjective and dependent on individual circumstances, and their impact may also vary depending on the degree to which they are present in a partner and the compatibility of the couple. Nonetheless, here they are from the potentially most severe to the least:

1. Dishonesty

Honesty is the foundation of the trust upon which all relationships are built and lying, whether through flat-out lies or omissions, will erode that trust over time and hurt both parties in the process. For instance, if you lie to your partner about your financial situation, you are concealing debts or overspending, when the truth eventually comes out, your partner will feel betrayed and hurt thereby damaging trust in your relationship.

Lies also tend to grow and become addictive. After getting away with the first few lies, there is always a tendency to fall back on lying because it is easier than facing the truth. What is worse is, this nasty habit can also filter through to other areas of your life causing broken trust all around.

• To build and maintain a strong connection, honesty and transparency are key.

2. Lack of Communication

So you have had a stressful day at work, only you never communicate this to your partner. Instead, as usual, you just become distant and irritable. Your partner who is unaware of the real cause of your behavior will naturally begin to feel disconnected and frustrated. This, understandably, always lead to tension in the relationship.

If when you are upset about something you just keep it to yourself and be cranky, you will just be creating more issues especially as your partner isn’t aware of what is really eating you. This is why communication is essential for any successful relationship and when you fail to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs it can lead to unnecessary conflicts.

• Share your thoughts honestly with your partner to build trust and connection. It's okay if sometimes you need to process them first.

3. Jealousy and insecurity

Excessive jealousy and insecurity can erode trust and drive a partner away. Constantly bringing a partner’s actions into question or doubting their loyalty or commitment creates a toxic atmosphere in your relationship. A partner who is made to always account for his whereabouts and explain all his interactions with others outside the relationship will soon begin to feel suffocated and unhappy even if they may have thought it cute at first.

• Building self-confidence and addressing insecurities is essential for healthier relationships.

4. Avoiding conflict

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Avoiding it (disagreements, difficult conversations, confrontations, etc.) altogether in a relationship, perhaps in an attempt to maintain a sense of peace and avoid any discomfort will, unfortunately, mean not resolving even minor disagreements and leaving them to snowball into bigger ones.

So far from being a way to keep the peace, conflict avoidance becomes a sure path to more significant conflicts in the long run leading to bigger arguments and bad experiences for all, putting a strain on the relationship.

• Being open about your preferences and/or concerns enables solutions and prevents unnecessary tension.

5. Psychological inflexibility

According to relationship expert and life coach, Karen Phillips, people who are psychologically inflexible are more likely to act in destructive ways and abuse their partners emotionally and/or physically. Resulting in the abused partner feeling insecure while the once-close bond dissolves.

Relationships evolve over time and your being unwilling to compromise or adapt to changes in a relationship can cause cracks to begin forming because your constant refusal to adapt causes feelings of disappointment in your partner.

• Healthy relationships require the flexibility that facilitates compromise. Also regularly seek clarification to check if your rigidity is because you are not interpreting things accurately or you are generalizing.

6. Self-centeredness

We all know self-care is important. However, excessive self-focus can be detrimental to relationships by pushing potential partners away. If everything revolves around you and your needs without any consideration to those of your partner, they will soon begin to feel neglected and unimportant. This is in contrast to a more balanced approach in which you are attentive to your partner’s needs alongside yours. So instead of constantly talking about you, your achievements, goals, interests, etc., make it a point to ask your partner about their life.

• Self-centeredness makes a partner feel unheard and unimportant, making them less inclined to pursue or continue a relationship with you.

7. Negativity

If you happen to be someone who, regardless of the situation, will focus on the negative aspects, like when on a beautiful, sunny day you will complain about the heat instead of enjoying the sunshine, then just know that your consistent negativity will gradually drain your partner’s enthusiasm and happiness. Maintaining a consistently negative attitude or pessimistic outlook can be emotionally draining for your partner, creating an unhealthy relationship environment.

• A positive, optimistic attitude creates a healthy, harmonious, and relationship environment.

“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow” –Yiddish proverb

If you recognize any of these habits, addressing them will be a very significant step toward improving your relationship prospects. It will take conscious effort to change these habits and enhance your chances of maintaining a lasting relationship. Self-awareness will, therefore, be your first step to breaking free from the patterns towards a healthier, more fulfilling connection with potential partners.

Relationships are a journey of self-discovery and growth so please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences, because open dialogue is a valuable tool on our path to self-improvement.