7 Daily Habits to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Fake it till you make it is not enough.

What does it take to be confident in your body? Glossy hair? Is it a distinctive jaw line or slim legs that cast a spell on you?

When you come in contact with a person, face to face, it is their genuine smile, a spark in the eyes or warmth of their touch that makes them memorable.

Confidence is charisma. And charisma draws you in.

Confidence does not mean perfectly shaped abs or ass. External looks can give you a temporary boost, but true confidence always has its spark from the inside.

I meet people who don’t have the Instagram body type. They are a little bigger, a little smaller. You can say they are rebellious when it comes to popularized beauty standards. None of it matters when I come in contact with their unfuckable energy, humour, and comfort of themselves.

Confidence is like a muscle, exercise it daily, and it becomes stronger.

It is not something you pick up and embrace overnight. It is an attitude you develop.

You don’t get served bulletproof mindset on a silver platter. You are given opportunities to build resilience from the ground up.

People who make fun of you in high school are not your enemies. They are teachers who shape your character. You can either spiral down the victim narrative or boost your morale by a pep-talk in front of the mirror to pump up your self-belief game.

Let’s dive into habits you can implement daily to hype your self-esteem.

#1. Don’t get high by chasing more likes.

How you feel about ourselves determines how people respond to you.

The less desperate for praise and validation you are, the more attractive you become. Attraction is based on polarity.

The pressure to be liked, commented on, appreciated builds resistance. It is a challenging fit nowadays to resist the temptation of flashing your life on social media. Yet, secure people don’t get high off validation from the digital world. Posting regular selfies diminishes your self-esteem.

Social media prays on human’s need for approval. It is okay to promote your brand through the digital world. After all, Instagram is a promotional tool. The issues arise when you need social media to sustain your life satisfaction.

People who strive for validation the most get it the least. Those who don’t aim at validation? They receive it the most.

Confidence is quiet. Insecurities scream loud. The pursuit of confidence is also silent. There are no over-the-top gestures, but small habits to cultivate daily.

Be nicer and less flashy. No one is impressed with your possessions as much as you are. You might think you want a fancy car or a nice watch. But what you probably want is respect and admiration. And you’re more likely to gain those things through kindness and humility than horsepower and chrome.

― Morgan Housel

#2. Own your insecurities.

The more you hide the features you are ashamed of, the more they stand out.

But when you reframe your imperfections by accepting them and focusing on something you are good at, things you stress about won’t matter to people around you. Why? Because you stopped making a big deal out of it.

Confident people don’t shy away from their flaws. They accept them. Better yet, they normalize them.

Genuine confidence comes from owning your flaws. Instead of thinking your imperfections need to be fixed, you can use them to your advantage. It is not that you are too short. The way you think about yourself gets in the way of going after your dreams.

How you think about yourself will always shine through. How you coach yourself around a setback determines the influence it has on you. Not the obstacle itself.

Self-acceptance is power. It makes your imperfections powerless. The more you accept yourself, the more attractive you become.

I live my life because I dare. I dare to show up when everyone else might hide their faces and hide their bodies in shame.

— Gabourey Sidibe

#3. Embrace vulnerability.

It may seem counterintuitive but let’s apply it to your dating life.

Vulnerability means embracing one’s authenticity; no masks, no cover-ups. It means when you like somebody, tell them, show them your interests. No more games.

Games are not sexy. A flirtatious gaze is attractive. Showing your interest in somebody else builds the tension. Passionately pursuing your hobbies is attractive. Even if it may lead to rejection, don’t be afraid to own up to who you are and how you feel.

Perfection is not relatable. Playfully sharing your vulnerabilities makes you relatable.

It is the way you spill your coffee and laugh it off. The way you stumble through the door and brush it off with a smile makes you connect with others. Authenticity is magnetic. We should never get lost in attempts to blend in. People connect to honesty and vulnerability.

When you give up trying to be liked, you discover who you are. Knowing yourself is the compass that will help guide you through adversities and rough patches.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.

— Brené Brown

#4. Give thanks.

Gratitude literally alters your brain to be happier. When you are satisfied with your life, you emanate this positive energy around, attracting people to your unique vibes.

Haven’t you noticed when your day is going smooth, any adversity seems to fade away or doesn’t even bother you? It is all about your mindset. On such a glorious day, people are nicer and walk up to you more often.

Everyday gratitude is a booster shot for romantic relationships.

When you are full of positive emotions (friendly, honest, caring), people are attracted to you because you give them energy.

When you vibrate on lower emotions (greedy, fake, vindictive), people avoid you because you take their energy away.

Not everything about your body, face, or hair has to be perfect. Wake up and be grateful every single day for having two arms and two legs, being healthy, and having people you can call a family.

I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.

— Will Arnett

#5. Cease complaining. Cease judgment.

One of the hallmarks of confident people is that they don’t fall into the habit of triple C: comparison, complaining and criticism.

To program your mind on spotting opportunities, you need to cut down on the filthy habit of criticizing yourself and others.

When people criticize, they do it out of fear of not being enough. Since you are comfortable in your body and spirit, you don’t mind praising others as well. You elevate them to your level of consciousness and self-admiration. As you see beauty in you, you spot it among others as well. That is a no-brainer.

Compliments don’t just make others feel great. They also enhance your self-confidence.

How you feel about yourself, you attract. You attract situations that mirror your beliefs and what you think you deserve. When you think less of yourself, your mind follows the suit and produce more self-deprecating thoughts.

Confident people praise others because they know they have nothing to lose but good energy to give.

It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.

— Germany Kent

#6. Nurture something you are good at.

You may be wondering: what are my passions? Then start small.

Picture your ideal day. What would you do? How would you feel? Who would you talk to? Don’t spread yourself thin on how you would achieve this vision, but immerse yourself in already having it.

Is it fashion? Is it English literature, gardening, painting, social media?

Neither of those interests are good or bad. Their purpose is to serve you and others as well. How can you cultivate those hobbies and be of service to others through them?

Start making your own clothes and give old ones away. Read books and start a social platform about literature. Help your neighbour in the garden. Sell your art on Etsy. Promote small businesses.

When you get good at something, it radiates confidence through you. Passion gives your life meaning. Being an expert at something gives you joy. It does not matter if it is business-wise. When you develop an interest in it, it becomes outstanding.

Passion is the driving force behind success and happiness and makes for a better life.

If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

— Vincent Van Gogh

#7. Keep your chin up.

People fail to recognize that you can trick your mind into confidence. Your mind follows your posture.

It doesn’t matter which room you enter, whether full of people who admire or despise you. It is how you enter it.

Upright position. Chest forward. Maintain brief eye contact with people you pass. Smile, sincerely. Not haughtily.

Sitting up straight in your chair isn’t only good for your posture — it also gives you more confidence in your thoughts.

Eye contact is your way to ask somebody out without actually making the request. That is how “love at first sight” got invented.

Eye contact is a powerful tool of attraction and making people agree with you. Practice it daily. You’ll feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but that’s the idea. Keep doing it until it feels natural. I am not talking about the creepy stare. Mesmerizing eye contact is a beautiful way to connect with people.

Confident people are not scary. They are intimidating.

A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind.

— Morihei Ueshiba

Confidence is a process.

Get comfortable with the space you take up. Don’t shrink for the comfort of others. You serve nobody when you are small.

When you cultivate confidence from within, the external takes more attractive form than any shapewear would ever provide.

Where the disease of low self-esteem comes from? From trying to imitate others, instead embracing and honing our authenticity. How can you master it?

• Stop comparison.
• Accept your unique flaws. Don’t make a big deal out of them.
• Be authentic. People connect to your vulnerability.
• Wake up to gratitude.
• Give compliments generously.
• Find something you are good at and nurture it.
• Be mindful of your body language.

Thank you for reading! Join my e-mail list here to stay in touch. I’d love to hear what you’re thinking.

Become a Medium member today for full access.