Summary

The website content is a personal reflection on the author's relationship with their mother, detailing the profound impact she had on the author's life, from childhood through adulthood.

Abstract

The author shares a heartfelt tribute to their mother, describing how her unconditional love, strength, and glamour influenced their life. The narrative begins with the author's adoption and the special attention and pride their mother instilled in them from a young age. Despite not being wealthy, the mother's elegance and intuition, particularly in understanding her child's needs without them being voiced, are highlighted. The author recalls how their mother's support and encouragement continued through various life stages, including academic achievements and personal challenges. The legacy of the grandmother is seen in the way the author's children also felt her pride and love. The author concludes by expressing that their mother's spirit and teachings continue to provide strength and guidance, especially in difficult times, and that the memory of their mother lives on through them.

Opinions

The author believes they possess an inherent strength due to their mother's positive influence.
The author feels they were chosen specifically by their mother, which made them feel proud and special.
The author appreciated their mother's glamorous demeanor, which stood out against their less affluent surroundings.
The author values their mother's intuition and ability to provide for them, even anticipating the author's unspoken desire for fashionable clothes as a teenager.
The author's mother consistently expressed pride in her child's accomplishments and was a source of comfort during hardships.
The author's children also benefited from their grandmother's affection and encouragement.
The author is inspired by their mother's example to see the positive in others and to support and empower women.
The author cherishes their mother's favorite poem, "Warning" by Jenny Joseph, as a symbol of her liberated spirit and individuality.
The author acknowledges that they have come to terms with their mother's death but feels her presence and guidance remain with them.

Reflection, Family

I am, Because We Were…

My Mum’s energy is with me, and I am a better person for having known her.

My life so far has included many ups and downs. Others have often said they feel I have an inherent strength. I believe I am blessed with this attribute because of the positive way my mum interacted with me.

I am, because we were…

Mum Chose Me

To begin at the beginning, Mum adopted me. Which provided major support right from when I was a baby. From the moment I have memories they were of her saying she’d chosen me specifically, not another baby, because I was a very special little girl. This made me feel proud and, well, shiny.

I visualised a large room with many cots and my Mum walking up and down getting ready to pick the baby who shone the most. That was me!

I was never forced to do any household chores. She used to say –

I didn’t choose you to be my little maid.

My Aunt frequently moaned that I wouldn’t do as I was told, and Mum would retort that I would come around in my own time. And she was right. I always did. Nobody has ever known me better than my Mum.

Intuitive

Mum was not very modern, but she was extremely glamorous. I can assure you she did not wade around fields in wellington boots and overalls like I often do for work purposes.

When I was young, my friends’ Mums were mumsie. We didn’t have much money but in contrast, my Mum glittered against the drab surroundings. Mostly she had vintage, or like me, second-hand clothes. She just wore them well.

Something that didn’t make me feel great about myself was having other children’s cast-offs, particularly as I became a teenager and wanted to look trendy for the school disco. My dad had gone, and my Mum was working to keep our little family afloat. I understood this, so never mentioned a thing about wishing I had fashionable clothes. However, as if she could read my mind, a shopping trip was arranged and from somewhere she found the money to buy me a couple of outfits I had been coveting for a few months. I was so happy I nearly cried. Suddenly, I was allowed to transform from a very plain duckling into a bit of a swan.

Making her Proud

We did have difficult times, life rarely runs smoothly. But whether I was passing or failing an exam — gaining a new friend or arguing with one — winning a race or bloodying my knees — My Mum was always there ready to tell me how proud she was and how great I was doing at life.

This continued into my adulthood. Mum was pleased as punch when I graduated, so I gave her the B.Sc. certificate. I was heralded as clever and worthy and special.

Grand-children

Mum helped my children feel proud too. No other kids were as pretty or talkative or friendly as her grand children. She would sit reading to them for ages or brushing their hair, as she had mine.

When my Mum died, my youngest daughter was eleven and had long, quite unmanageable curls. At the funeral service, she got up and read out a poem she’d written. Mentioning how her Gran never pulled through her tangles or raised her voice. She said that my Mum inspired her.

Still providing Strength

My eldest, was talking to me just the other day saying she was fed up about how her girlfriends sometimes put each other, and women in general, down. She said we should be standing up for each other, and said I’d taught her that. It is true, I comment about other women in a complimentary way, but that was because my Mum did. She saw the positive in everyone and made the people she knew feel more confident about their abilities and strong enough to face the day.

I miss Mum, but I can still feel her presence buoying me on when I feel sad and supporting me. Often appearing in my dreams when I have been going through a particularly hard time. I don’t believe a loved one ever leaves you completely. My Mum’s energy is with me, and I am a better person for having known her.

Wearing Purple

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves …

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people’s gardens And learn to spit.

Excert from Warning by Jenny Joseph

This was my Mum’s favourite poem as she grew older. I always remember my Mum wearing bright colours and as the years passed by she regularly wore purple. Although she was far too much of a lady to spit.

Wearing purple for her was not decadent, it was liberating.

Mum’s scarf — now mine — Image Copyright May More

My Mum’s death is something I have got used to, but cannot imagine ever getting over.

I celebrate my Mum for so many reasons. After all she chose me and I am, because we were…

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