A Once in a Lifetime Experience
Truth is stranger than fiction
Death is an odd concept to understand. I have certainly had my share of grieving and heartbreak from losing someone dear. We all have. Yet, death remains a mystery to most. Who can say what exactly happens when it holds out its hand to you? After all, it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But I have always suspected there is much more to death than meets the eye. As in, I don’t think we simply disappear or fade away. Energy is something to be reckoned with.
Let me tell you about a strange occurrence that happened when I was a child.
NB: I recently wrote — the day I may have met my birth dad. Well, this story is about the people who adopted me, from when I was six months old, not my birth family.
At Home With Mum
I was about eight years old when a lot of shouting shook our household and shortly after my dad left to start a new family with another woman. From that day on I never saw him again. Divorce wasn’t common so I was a little embarrassed to talk about it at this school. Being a Catholic, marriage vows were meant to be taken seriously.
However, children have an amazing capacity to just get on with life and that’s exactly what I did. I had an incredible imagination so spent time in play or reading. I can honestly say I don’t really remember missing my dad, although my relationship with him had been, shall we say, confusing for me.
It was very different for my mum though. Dad had been, and remained until the day she died, the love of her life, which was further cemented when a very curious thing happened one afternoon a few years after he’d scarpered. So strange I have never forgotten it. My mum and I discussed the events many times when I was older. She always stood by the following version.
Truth is Stranger than Fiction
On a cold dusky October afternoon, about two years after Dad left, my mum and I were sitting in the dining room having some juice and biscuits. Our front door was actually at the rear of the house and took you into the kitchen. To get to it from the outside you needed to walk down the long narrow path and past the wide dining room window that I was sitting with my back towards. My brother was expected home shortly, so mum kept glancing up at the window.
We were chatting — well, mum was listening to a lengthy monologue about a school activity I wanted to relate. All of a sudden she jumped up, staring towards the window, and in a surprised tone exclaimed,
“Charles?”
Hastily she walked out of the dining room and into the kitchen. I presumed to open the front door. For a moment I sat glued to my chair. Dad’s name was Charles. I was somewhat bewildered about what had just happened. We hadn’t seen him since he left.
Mum didn’t return so I tentatively went through to the kitchen. She was just shutting the front door and directly ran to the back, which overlooked the garden, and unlocked it.
“Charles… where are you?”
She was shouting and sounded short of breath.
Finally, flushed and wide-eyed she came in. I asked her if she had seen my Dad. Looking very puzzled she replied,
“I thought I saw him pass by the dining room window, but somehow he’d disappeared by the time I reached the door.”
This didn’t seem possible as it was obvious he would not have been able to escape down our long path so quickly.
Soon after my brother came home and family life continued. Mum seemed slightly preoccupied but to my childish mind, all was well.
That night whilst in bed, I heard the phone ring. As normal I went and sat at the top of the stairs to listen. I couldn’t gauge too much apart from the words my Mum uttered,
“What no…”
and
“…that’s impossible.”
When the call was over I heard her gulping and softly sobbing. I didn’t know what to do. Almost immediately she was on the phone again and within minutes I heard the front door shut and my Aunt’s voice consoling my Mum.
It all became a little too intense for me. In the dim light, I tiptoed down the stairs and stood quietly at the living room door in my nightdress. Before realizing I was there I heard Mum proclaim,
“I don’t understand, I only saw him this afternoon.”
I shuffled from one foot to the other and glancing over my Aunt jumped up, took my hand, and led me back to my room. She realized I’d heard enough of their conversation not to be able to fob me off with nonsense. With her arm around me, she gently explained that the telephone call mum had received earlier was from my dad’s mum — Nanna, with sad news.
Dad was dead.
I felt nothing. Just numb and confused, rooted to the spot. I understood what it meant, but in my self-centered child mind, I couldn’t see that this revelation would have any impact on my life. But, I was baffled as to how he could have been outside our house and died. The two did not marry up. A couple of years later I discovered the details:
Around the time my Mum momentarily glimpsed Charles passing by our window, he had apparently died of a sudden heart attack in Brighton — some 90 miles away. He was only 41 years old.
Was this a bizarre case of mistaken identity? Or did my Mum have some kind of hallucination?
Empathic death experience
Apparently, several different types of Empathic Death Experiences have been recorded. What happened to my mum might be described as:
… an event in which a person suddenly has an hallucination of a loved one, or senses the feelings of a loved one — on the verge of death — many miles away.
This certainly requires a leap of faith. But then again life is all about energy, which some argue never really dies.
Whatever the case, no matter how distressing my dad’s sudden appearance was to my mum at the time, she viewed it as a sign he was apologizing. I know in the long run the incident provided comfort and helped her deal with his loss.
What do I think? Reflecting back it was dusk… But
I make sure my mind is always open both to science and other aspects of life that simply can not be explained rationally.
What do you think?
References — If this tale fascinates you then check out these online links (as well as the ones within the story).
- Sensing the dead is more common than you think.
- Information regarding bereavement hallucinations.
Other Medium stories with a similar theme
- A strange meeting with his father in the park for Liam Ireland — a haunting tale.
- And Pene Hodge explores what happens after death. Where does the energy go?
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