6 Hurtful Reasons a Narcissist Blocks You on Their Phone

How do you respond without knowing why?

You’ve been blocked. It stings — maybe a lot. You don’t know why. Or maybe you do know why, but you’re trying to work on the relationship.

You want to understand things from the narcissist’s perspective.

• Are they hurting?
• Are they angry?
• What are they feeling?

You want to believe you’re in a healthy, neurotypical relationship.

A narcissist is not capable of healthy relationships

They are not someone who is going to actively listen and engage when you have a conflict. They are not going to “stay friends” after a break-up — at least not in a healthy way.

A narcissist’s behavior is governed by their disorder.

Why would they block you from their phone?

#1 To punish you

This is a type of silent treatment, a devaluation technique. If you are in a relationship and they block you, they now have your full attention.

You are agonizing about why you are blocked, what it means, if they’ll ever speak to you again, during all waking hours. You’re sleeping poorly.

When they finally unblock you, you beg them to never do it again. You share how much it hurt you. You apologize for their actions. You decide to never challenge, correct, or call them out again. It hurts too much.

They make a mental note. This tactic works.

#2 To reject you

Narcissists believe everyone sees the world through the same lens they do. They don’t believe someone could think or feel otherwise.

To a narcissist, being blocked is a huge rejection. It makes them irrelevant, unimportant. They wish to make you feel that way, either as a punishment for their feelings of irrelevance or, if they feel you slipping away, they’ll reject you before you reject them.

#3 To erase you

The narcissist sees people as all good or all bad. While they are love bombing and you are entranced by them, you are all good. Once they’ve devalued you significantly or their mask has slipped and you’ve seen who they are, you become all bad.

They don’t have the ability to remember fondly the good times, and acknowledge it was time for the relationship to end. It’s better that you don’t exist.

#4 To stay relevant and in control

Even if you initiated the break-up, blocking you gets your attention. They’re in your head again, which is exactly where they want to be — not because they want to get back together, but because they have the ability to control your thoughts, your emotional state, even your actions. They’ve made you think about them. They are still relevant.

#5 They are getting their narcissistic supply elsewhere

They are grooming a new source of supply. At some point, they’ll want to triangulate you with the new person, but not yet. First, they need to create and reinforce the new source of supply’s vision of who they are.

#6 They are setting you up

The narcissist makes a big deal out of telling their family, friends, therapist, attorney, co-workers, and any other flying monkeys that they blocked you, that they’ve chosen to go no contact.

Picture the dramatic statement.

• “I don’t want to hurt her, but I just can’t deal with it anymore.”
• “I had to block him. I can’t deal with his abuse. I’m done.”

This is a great way of painting the picture that you are the one who is abusive.

The harsh, yet inspiring reality

Expecting the narcissist to behave in a healthy, productive way in a relationship is like expecting a fish to climb a tree.

It simply won’t happen.

You have the opportunity to take your power back, to be in control of your thoughts, emotional state, and actions.

You can choose to heal, move forward, and engage in relationships that nourish your soul.

When a narcissist gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Disclaimer: This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.

Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding after effects of narcissistic abuse. Download her free risk-assessment guide, 3 Hidden Financial Risks Every High Income Woman MUST Avoid While Coparenting with a Covert Narcissist and find information on working with her on her website.

Recommended for you: Why Do You, the Victim, Apologize to the Narcissist? and How Do You Know if a Narcissist is Gone for Good?

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