Summary

Erin King's article provides six strategies for ending a relationship amicably, emphasizing respect and kindness to maintain a friendly connection post-breakup.

Abstract

In the article titled "6 Break-Up Strategies To Keep Things Friendly Even After It’s Over," Erin King outlines a compassionate approach to ending relationships. King suggests that mutual respect and civility should guide the breakup process, advocating for honesty, personal responsibility, and a considerate method of communication. The strategies include avoiding infidelity, ending the relationship promptly once the decision is made, conducting the breakup in person and in a private setting, refraining from blame, declining offers to change for the sake of the relationship, and maintaining kindness even in the face of anger. King's advice aims to prevent unnecessary pain and preserve the potential for friendship, acknowledging that a relationship's end doesn't necessitate hostility.

Opinions

Infidelity is discouraged as it is disrespectful and carries negative consequences into future relationships.
It is important to end a relationship as soon as one knows it is over, to avoid leading the other person on.
Breaking up in person is presented as the respectful and appropriate way to end a relationship.
Choosing a private and convenient location for the breakup is recommended to allow for a respectful and safe exchange of emotions.
Blaming the other person for the relationship's end is seen as unproductive, as individuals have the agency to choose their partners.
Offers to change should be approached with caution, as resentment may build if changes are made solely to salvage the relationship.
Kindness should be maintained during a breakup, recognizing that everyone has feelings and past hurts that contribute to their behavior.
The potential for maintaining a friendship post-breakup is highlighted, with the possibility of meeting new partners through mutual connections.
The article encourages self-reflection and personal growth through the breakup process, suggesting King's own book as a resource for healing and understanding.

Relationships/Happiness

6 Break-Up Strategies To Keep Things Friendly Even After It’s Over

Just because you’re not in love anymore, doesn’t mean you have to hate each other.

Erin King is the author of How To Be Wise AF: A 30-day journalling adventure to your inner Guru.

I don’t want you back, but I would kill for the feeling of meeting you all over again. — Jessica Katoff

Ending a relationship is never easy, but it doesn’t have to get ugly.

You may not love your partner anymore, but there was a time when you did, so chances are you don’t really want to hurt them. Even if they’ve been a jerk to you, it doesn’t mean you automatically have to be one to them.

When you let someone down respectfully, it’s as good for you as it is for them.

You have the benefit of knowing you did the right thing. You bypassed the easy way to take the high road and dialed down the resentment. No matter what happens, you can say you did your best.

You may not end up best friends, but having a friendly acquaintance after it’s over is better than making a bitter enemy.

So here are some guidelines to follow when breaking up:

Photo by Emma Matthews Digital Content Production on Unsplash

1. Don’t’ cheat.

Just don’t.

Two-timing is never good, even if someone is waiting in the wings, be a decent person, and break up first.

Don’t cross that line. If you do, it will follow you into your next relationship and everyone after.

2. Break up as soon as you know it’s over.

If you’re not feeling it and you know it, don’t linger.

There’s nothing worse than being strung along by someone who doesn’t want you anymore.

3. Do it face to face.

Not by text, not by Facetime or Instagram, not by phone. Don’t make a funny TikTok dance.

Have the courage to meet that person and tell them it’s over. It’s just the right thing to do.

4. Do it somewhere private and close to home.

I remember a boyfriend taking me on a picnic to break up with me. It was a 40-minute drive. I don’t know what he was thinking, maybe he thought it would soften the blow, but all it did was make for an awkward and angry drive back.

I’m sure my tirade on the drive home made him think twice about his next breakup location.

Break up somewhere private and convenient so the other person can vent if they need to, and you can escape if things start getting out of control.

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5. Don’t blame the other person.

Even if that person has bad habits or something you don’t like about them, it doesn’t matter. It was your choice to be with them in the first place. You can’t blame them for that.

Take ownership of your part.

Unless someone did something terrible to you, you’re probably just breaking up because you’re not feeling it anymore and that’s nobody’s fault.

If they offer to change, be careful.

They might end up resenting you for changing them, and besides, you both want to be with someone who accepts you for who you are.

6. Resist the urge to be a jerk, even if you’re mad at them.

Even if this person has pushed your last button and has been a jerk to you, be kind.

Fight every urge to make them feel bad about themselves. Avoid insults and put-downs.

Even if it seems like they don’t have feelings, they do. Everyone does, and people who act the worst are often people who are hurting the most.

You probably don’t know what emotional scars pushed them to do the things they did and if you do know their deepest pain, don’t use it against them. That’s just mean.

Breaking up is always hard, but if you can do it respectfully, you have a better chance that it won’t turn into a traumatic mess.

Just because a relationship doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you automatically have to hate each other.

If you’re decent about it, you may both realize that even though you weren’t right for each other, you still quite like each other as friends.

Who knows, maybe your ex has a friend who’d be a better match.

If you stay friendly, they might introduce you, and perhaps you’ll meet the love of your life through them.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” — M. Kathleen Casey

Thanks so much for reading! 😊

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✨Start your writing/healing journey with my book: How To Be Wise AF: A 30-day journalling adventure to your inner Guru. Find the eBook on Amazon for only $0.99 for a limited time.

Read one short chapter every day and answer the writing prompt I’ve designed to get you reframing your experiences in a positive, helpful light. Delve into your past, the good, the bad, and the ugly to revisit and rewrite old narratives.

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If you’d like to read some more stories by me, please check these out:

Table Of Contents Of Writing By Erin King

A quick way to find articles of interest with links for easy access.

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