5 ways of Learning to Like Yourself Better
Quick question: Do you like yourself?
“Of course, I like myself.” While your words might indicate that you like yourself, what do your actions say? — Are you someone who is comfortable in your own skin? Are you happy with your appearance, or are you constantly comparing yourself to others, wishing you could be more like them? When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A superstar, or someone who doesn’t quite live up to your own expectations?
The thing is, our sense of self — our self-esteem is based on how we feel about ourselves, right now at this moment. Sure, it’s okay to strive to become a better version of ourselves, so long as we accept this current version, flaws and all.
If you’re someone who is overly self-critical, try these 5 ways in which you can learn to like yourself better:
1. Take you Time and Enjoy Your Accomplishments
When we are very focused on everything that’s wrong with us, we are unable to take a look at what’s right. When you’ve done something well, it’s important that you admit this success and enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be something huge, either.
For example, It could be that you made a really delicious meal — The key is to allowing yourself the pleasure of enjoying every single bite and happily receive any compliments from those you cooked for — try it!
2. Perfectly Imperfect — Understand That No One is Perfect
Suppose you’ve been comparing yourself to other people. In that case, it’s time for you to consider that we are ALL a constant work in progress, and no one is “perfect” — Not the models you see on the cover of magazines, nor the actors in the movies — most of it is stages and likely photoshopped.
The sooner you can accept this fact, the sooner you can relax and like who you are — Revel in Your Unique Blend of Imperfection!
3. Practice Showing Patience with Yourself
Perhaps there are things about yourself that you would like to change. Do you want to lose weight, get healthier, learn a new language, learn to cook a special meal, be a kinder friend, be an understanding spouse? Often we hate ourselves for not reaching impossible goals we have set for ourselves. If there are goals, you would like to reach, be realistic in setting timelines and be patient with yourself — Go Slow to go Fast!
4. Forgiveness Starts with Self — Look at Your Past with a Kind Eye
Sometimes we don’t like ourselves because of past actions and behaviors. It’s important to give yourself some slack. When you were young, you may not have always acted kindly toward loved ones or strangers. Maybe you acted selfishly more often than you care to admit.
The best thing to do is embrace your past, warts and all, and see what you can learn from your actions and behaviors — Acceptance is the key that allows for growth in the future.
5. Try the 80–20 rule — Like “Most” of Yourself
You may never like 100% of yourself, and that’s okay. Strive to like 80% or 90%. You can still live an incredibly happy life when you think ‘only’ 85% of you is awesome — Good Enough Self!
When it comes to learning about yourself, working with a therapist can be very beneficial. Someone who is trained, professional, impartial, and completely new to you can help you gain clarity and a new perspective on yourself and your life.
Just remember, healthy self-esteem is important to our overall well-being, but getting there can be difficult, especially if you’ve suffered from a low self-esteem your entire life. So, be kind, stay patient, and know that you are doing the best you can — I am rooting for the awesome YOU!